Miss Dawn's Blog

Keep your eyes on your fries!

2012-01-28T23:38:00.002-05:00

Of course the children laugh their heads off when I repeat this line to them while doing many a task, production, or lesson! I am positive that they really do not know the history of this phrasing! (Heck, some of the teaching staff I work wouldn’t either!- showing my age.) It is an old McDonald ‘s ad from the late 1970s warning folks to keep eyeing their delicious McDonalds French fries, lest someone sneaks them while you aren’t looking!

The reality is that this phrase was modified from the even older expression, “Keep you eyes on the prize”, that is actually more of what the children understand – However the latter sounds so much more kid friendly and funny to me!

Regardless, both expressions lend themselves to many of this month’s messages in regard to Jesus. Stories of His walk in faith with the Father. One in particular, is walking on water! (A metaphor we all seem to use with frequency in order to explain in a positive or negative way the strengths, or misconceptions, one has about one self, or another!)

We hear this expression used often. “He walks on water!” or, “He THINKS He walks on water!” However, it is used, none of us… including the sainted, “walks on water” without Christ! Through, and with Him, we are invited to do such feats! BUT only while in His Spirit, not on our own merit! I have begun explaining to the children in the last month all of this.

Once the “MAGI” left, we begin the real meat of what we are to learn about in Christ. The children had their eyes so firmly fixed on the “Star” that it was actually work to get them focused on what Jesus’ ministry would entail. But again, their eyes were on their fries! Right?? But now, we are fixed upon WHY he was sent.

I love when I can mess around with Jesus’ days leading up to and including his ministerial work. Or really, Ordinary Time! We focus so much on holidays and the bigger feasts, I truly love when we just embrace ordinary life. Although, I beg to differ that Jesus’ life was ANYTHING but ordinary on any day!

The kids are so engrossed on Jesus’ infancy for so long, they ask me about how it is Jesus becomes who He is… or born to be what He does…. Where are Mary and Joseph? Did he go to school? What kind of childhood did he have? And of course they worry ever so much of the whereabouts of the dreaded King Herod! (Wait ‘til I start dropping words like Sadducees and Pharisees on them in the months to come! Better yet, Pilot!) What I LOVE to tell them is the 2x he was, (as I say), “A little bit fresh to His Mother!” There eyes look like moons when I say this! “What Miss Dawn?? Jesus was fresh to His Mother?? TELL US!” They love it, (and although it comes across that way...and has deeper meaning- even to Mary), I love to impart to them.... that Jesus was, “a little bit like them!” It humanizes Jesus to where THEY are on THEIR journeys.

And that to me is okay.

Jesus taking off on His parents for 3days to preach at 12 years of age without notifying them is enough to frighten any child to never leave their parent’s side again. And Jesus then delivers the retort to a worried-sick Mary, “Did you not know I’d be in my Father’s House?” I am surprised she doesn’t wallop him in front of all the big shots there! In Jesus’ “arrogance” or “freshness” are still a mother and son, going through a moment each and every child experiences, life without the other and how sickening that must feel! Mary has “almost” seemed to forget in those first 12 years of mother and son, what Jesus was sent here to do. But, HE HASN’T! His eyes are firmly on his fries! It’s a big nudge to her that Jesus will be sacrificed as told to her. He will leave her for 3 days “someday” in the future, and that she needs to be there for Him when he returns. AS ALL children are “lent” to us. Again, Jesus will confront Mary at His 1st Miracle… Changing Water into Wine at the Wedding. Yet this time it will be Mary pushing Him forward into His destiny. Her eyes completely focused on what she promised God when she said, “Yes”, to God 30 years prior.

As Jesus calls the 12… numbers of events and everyday stories occur. The children are intrigued. They are so absorbed they want to know about each disciple as an individual and how they felt about not fishing for fish anymore, but fishing for people! Their eyes became focused on Jesus when they cast their nets for something very different. Doing what it was they were called to do. The children are intrigued by stories of healing, loss of loved ones, (only to be brought back to life on occasion), and the constant foretelling of what will become of Jesus.

But it is when I deliver the Walking on Water story, do the heads turn. If only we could walk on water as Jesus did. Well, Peter does it. He does it despite his own temperament, and his inability to conceive that he actually can. When the 12 are caught in a storm… and Peter sees Jesus cascading like an ice skater across the top, he alarms the others that he believes they are seeing an apparition, a ghost. (Perhaps another premonition of what is to come). Upon Peter’s request to be able to do such a thing, Jesus invites Peter to walk! To do the impossible with God. Isn’t this the point??

Peter is not shy... he hops out immediately, (Like any of my 5year olds would!) And he does it truly because he has his eyes firmly planted on Jesus. He does not understand the act, but the only thought is that he wants to be with Jesus… That is enough to make it happen! You can only imagine the fervor on the boat…with the Disciples. I can only hear this… “Peter, Peter, Peter…” as they all cheer him on. His eyes are on his fries. He is doing the impossible with God! Bang... right there is the only message one needs to understand the Christian concept! The kids’ eyes are now focused on this concept. Anything is possible with God.

The storm becomes louder, or the disciples… and we are distracted… our focus is behind us. Peter turns to it… takes his eyes off … AND into the drink we go! Jesus tells Peter that his faith wasn’t strong enough. That in fact if he just did the impossible with Him he wouldn’t have lost his balance and begun to drown.

I feel for Peter, at least HE was WILLLING to jump out and try it… walk with God doing something that seemed unimaginable. And I’m positive God, knew that too despite how frightened and distracted he became.

Don’t take your eyes off your fries… you may miss the moment God invites you to walk with Him! No matter how scary it looks, God will be right there because His eyes are always on us! He has far more planned for us than we are ready to embrace at times. By looking away we rule out yet another chance to walk the impossible with Him.

Peace, MD

That's My Plan!

2012-01-03T18:40:00.002-05:00

A New Year's Quote... An Epiphany, if you will!!

‎"You have done what you could — some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Emerson

Not only, is this appropriate for a new year, it is more the philosophy I use with my students each day… and should be how we all view our blunders and absurdities in life.. As well as the new challenges and new ways of being ourselves! I love the part about your spirit being far higher than the old nonsense.

I love the Epiphany, (and not so much the New Year, at times.). It is funny. I am one of these people who are hit with it all at one time. As I write this I am embarking on the eve of my 46th revolution around the sun. (Yes. my birthday). One gets a little contemplative when Christmas, New Year, Birthday, and yes. Epiphany occurs all within 12 days of each other! Makes for some interesting couch time during the holidays! One can spend a great deal of time sitting in a blunder from 6 months ago or last week. One can find the most scrupulous ways to bring oneself down. Tell themselves, “Hey guess what?? You did it again didn’t you??” Or better yet, “ You did it more than once this year...” And sit within the “old nonsense” of uncertainty and judgment. Self-doubt, impatience and fear. And ultimately, in the end the reason we miss the moment of anything we set out to do is simply out of fear.

Do you know that I’ll bet the Magi felt this way plenty of times in their 2-year journey toward the Savior. Think about not having GPS, a media-packaged mobile device, or even a map maybe?? They studied the stars, (Its all they had!)They had faith, though, more importantly. They had faith that they were about to witness a miracle. The manifestation of God in human form. They were willing to step out and journey toward something they’ve only heard about. Perhaps read about. And certainly had no idea about. Most Gentiles (non-Jews) were not awaiting a Divine King to come down and save the world from itself. There’s some absurdity for ya!

They stopped to converse with King Herod about the whereabouts of “This Child” … Herod, knew they meant business. Why do 3 learned men travel so far to bestow gifts upon a poor infant if not for all the right reasons??! And yet Herod, in all his human weakness could still only think about how the Infant King was somehow sent here to depose him! And there is how limited our humanness ventures!

Herod begged them to return to Jerusalem after paying homage, so that Herod might do so as well… Again, talk about absurdity. Melchior, Balthazaar and Gaspar were fortunate “wise men” who paid attention to dreams and signs… listened to their internal GPS... their gut, and got the message LOUD and CLEAR one evening before leaving Bethlehem. “Go home another way.” How on earth would they have known otherwise? Stupid? Absurd? Perhaps the biggest blunder in history could have been in the works, until the signs came. They serenely climbed back onto their camels, spirits held high, and certainly unencumbered to go back home and preach about the coming of God’s Son to the other corners of the world.

Were they scared? Probably. But not half as scary as it would’ve been if they did what they thought to be “right”. No, instead God always has a larger plan for us if we are willing to shed are earthly encumbered junk and just, well... “Follow His Star.” Make God the pilot! So, put your GPS’ away, Power down your Mobile Devices, roll up your man-made maps and IPADS and do what I do every Epiphany for my children and myself, crack open a V8… Hit myself upside the head... and say...”I could’ve had a V8!” to explain what exactly an Epiphany is! A delicious, nutritious drink that fills us, gives us energy, and makes us healthy, rather than the empty Diet Coke that seems easy to drink, falsely sweetened, and full of empty calories. “Ah... what a difference.”

Epiphany is really your new start. Not 2012. It is a start that doesn’t happen at the Winter Solstice or just beyond each and every year… it is always present to us as long as we choose to see God in all of our works, actions and encounters…. And let Him to plot our course, take the wheel and drive!

“Let Him plot our course, take the wheel and drive!” That’s my resolution for the New Year. That , my brothers and sisters in Christ, is my plan!

The Courtship of Miles Standish

2011-11-20T09:27:00.002-05:00

The Courtship of Mles Standish by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Right.. I know not topping your reading queue these days?? Altho,I must admit that it has made a resurgence back into my literary repertoire!

Have you ever considered that drama, romance, and playfulness existed in early Purtian America? Truly, it wasn't always "Black and White" (hahaha) and mostly (in the beginning anyway), we think of the Pilgrims experiencing hardship, survival, and starvation and illness! And they did. That landing in Plimoth, (Yes.. that is not an error), was one filled with anxiety, fear, and a looming sensation that they indeed may not survive the 1st winter. And they weren't wrong; that 1st winter in New England goes down in history as the 6th coldest, most bitter, we Yankees have ever had!

AS I teach this unit to my preK each and every year, o cover the "basics". However, this particular year, I was forced back into my of earlier years having trained to teach high school history, by spotting some titillating books written by Mr.Longfellow, and of course Governor William Bradford himself!(Of Plimoth Plantation- perhaps not on your best seller/must read list.. but once in a while definitely mine!)

About this time each year, I go for my copy of "Of Plimoth Plantation" by Gov. William Bradford. A classic for sure! I so enjoy the quirkiness of the Pilgrim Separatists. (Honestly this was one of my areas of concentration in college!)

These 2 works, (Bradford's and Longfellow's), just re-enforce for me, that life was still LIFE among our puritanical Christians! They are a dry and straight bunch to be sure, but also not devoid of the standards of real daily living and drama!

One story that is fascinating, is the semi-mythical love triangle that we believe has some shred of truth that existed between Capt. Miles Standish, John Alden and Priscilla Mullens. Longfellow, a descendant of John Alden and Priscilla (Mullens)-Alden, (okay, so now you see at least how it all shook out), wrote a fascinating poem during Victorian England that did rip thru the best seller list in London, about the "love affair" between these main Mayflower travel/soul mates.

There weren't many passengers about the Mayflower...around 101-102... depending on if you count the 1 death, (possibly 2), and birth on board the Mayflower during its harrowing journey across the Atlantic. 30 of these were children! Not leaving much in the way of "adult" choices among the singletons!(No Match.com for them.. altho I would LOVE to see some of their profiles had there been! What a spoof!) Some Pilgrims knew each other and some did not. Some were tradesman and others leaving strictly for religious purpose. All looking for a better way of life than that in England!(England being no-so-merry at the time).

Priscilla about 17, traveled with her parents and brother. Mr. Alden was hired as the ship's cooper, and Capt Standish, as the military liaison, as well as exploratory leader. The three did knew not of one another prior to their voyage.

History tells us that after Miles explored the Cape Cod area he and others found a clearing at the mouth of Plymouth Harbor. It was November, and the winds of change were in the air. It was all they could do to stay alive that first miserable winter. The illness' were running rampant and food a scarcity. Capt. Standish lost his wife the day after he set out to explore the coast of Cape Cod.She may have committed suicide due to the fact that the Standish's left their son behind in England to weak to make the crossing.(That's drama in itself for these ultra -religiously fanatical bunch!) That winter however, Priscilla became orphaned, losing her entire family to the hardships of life in New Plimoth. Matter of fact, half of the Pilgrims perished over the winter, (altho not the children ironically), which then really left "Slim-pickings" in choosing a mate for our band of newcomers!

In the Springtime the drama picked itself up.(If that is even possbile!) The snow melted and warmer days were approaching "all around" the settlement! One could say a new "fever" set in among the colonists, "Spring Fever". In March the Pilgrims were visited by the sachem chief, Massasoit. He could speak the King's English... but knew of one better... Squanto.

Squanto had his own drama, having been kidnapped about 10 years prior to the Mayflower arrival, was taken by English and Spanish explorers and brought back to Europe for an indefinite period of time. He learned English, but more importantly to be monotheistic. He managed to get back to America only to find his wife and children, friends and parents dead having suffered the Indian flu.(A white man's disease not immune to the Native American population). A tradgy and drama in of itself. Not long before the Pilgrims had arrived and settled into "the clearing" once inhabited by Squanto's people did Squanto make his reappearance in America. Squanto taught the Pilgrims more than they could ever have bargained for. One of which was how to grow the indispensable crop of Maize/corn. He was truly a God-send to the Pilgrims!And I have come to believe sent as a gift from God to them.

I have a little girl in my classroom this year that is "in love" with Squanto! (HAH- 1st time in 20 years of teaching have I ever seen this! She believes him to be "so handsome"... or "HOT!" And in my wit and humour I snap back with, "Well, Maggie, Ive always been a Miles Standish kinda-girl myself! And apparently so was Priscilla!(at first). (But I doubt, ever Squanto! That would've changed history for sure!!!)

Priscilla Mullens, a now 19 yr orphaned young woman, alone in the new world is portrayed as someone strong, put together, modern-day gal! She was vying for a Plimoth man, a townie we'll say, to come and romance her...any pilgrim gal would! She learned with the best of them how to make corn meal, bake bread, mend and make clothing, you get it.

I only imagine myself, my longing to live in a 350 year old home, (to this day my dream), sitting by the fireside at night, doing my evening chores and sipping my beer or spirited water! (Which apparently Priscilla enjoyed very much!- A girl after my own heart!) In my head, she was the Carrie Bradshaw of Plimoth.(Minus the Jimmy Choo's!) She was great alone... but also waiting for her "Big"! And although she was great, at 19, she was also perfect marrying age in Pilgrim times. And she was looking. There were a few other girls left behind from sick parents as well... but as said the pickings were not that of the rich Harvest they experienced in the Autumn of 1621! There was not a Cornucopia of men and women to choose to spend your life with in New England at that time! (I still challenge that!!!)
She truly was not the Carrie in NYC, but the one of New Plimoth.

Suitors were not in plenitude, and yet the young and attractive Ms. Mullens was I am positive more than pursued!!! Capt Miles Standish who had lost his wife Winter before had taken a strong interest in Priscilla. He was clearly in good shape on paper, (in all ways!) Strong, well-to-do, debonair, heroic, brave. You get it?? Hired as the military liaison to the Pilgrim separatists he was asked to make the voyage and begin new life in the new world. The Pilgrims were a God-fearing folk, they did not know of such things as military protection and strategy... and they certainly did not know what to do if there would've been an Indian uprising!

Capt. Standish to your rescue!(He aways reminds me of the men I tend to get involved with- arrogant James Bond-types, full of themselves and their clout! Surely had vehicles been invented, Capt Standish, would've been in an Astin Martin, or Maybe Range Rover, due to his position!

Mr. John Alden, the young ship's Cooper, happened to be Miles' roommate during those early days. And why not? There was not a lot in the way of new housing... and hey.. 2 single guys bunking in together would solve a few problems! Capt, Standish would go on and on about Priscilla to the young Alden. A fair haired, big eyed, lad who not only made a good beer barrel, but apparently was renowned for his, shall we say, tempered behavior, that most coopers were not known for!(Bet he made a damned good beer too!)

Mr. Alden also had a "thing" for ol' Priscilla! But like most quiet,polite, gentleman types of men, thought how will I ever out due Capt. Miles Standish??

The reality, is that John, had the one thing that Miles did not. And that was the art of how to communicate with Priscilla! It is joked that Miles couldn't really "speak"! He had trouble voicing his concerns, or affection or anything else... and other accounts claim that Priscilla never could understand him due to the dialect. (As he was like from our version of The Bronx or Jersey, and she from Manhattan!)( I'd prefer to think he was just too damn smug, arrogant and narcissistic for Priscilla!) She and John however, happened to be raised very close to one another and so DID understand one another, and could very much exchange the Language of Love!

One day Miles had made his mind up that he would ask Priscilla for her hand. A moment every Pilgrim girl I'm sure "Dreamed" of! But alas, no Cinderella /Barbie Dream Wedding to rival the Kardsashians... No-Remember these people didn't even celebrate Christmas! (Well in a fun way... anyway!)You think weddings were big?? God No-
If celebration was not a formality in the Bible.. then it wasn't in Puritan times either!!!

Miles however , for whatever reason, was not about to ask her himself. (AW.. too bad email hadn't been invented yet...she could have least witnessed his wordsmithing intelligence.) He copped out- as many men do, and he sent John Alden over to Priscilla's to do the deed! (And here's where it gets good!)

Upon hearing the question uttered by Mr. Alden, the independent-minded woman utters one of the most famous retorts ever: "Why don't you speak for yourself, John?" At this moment the Love triangle takes hold.. and Priscilla and John engage in a secret relationship while Standish is off fighting Indians. It is reported that he is dead... and John and Priscilla may now wed!

( I Love that part.. it always reminds me of when I decided that Paul McCartney was not really the Beatle I actually dug!)

And then... Miles returns... dunt, dunt, dunt, dunt!!!!!

John and Priscilla Alden go on to produce 10 living children...obviously SOME fun DID happen in ol' Plimoth Between the roped beds, and stiff, (at um), black and white attire! (Or at least the Beer was mighty good!) And Miles? He got remarried to "Barbara", his deceased wife's sister, that same year and they went on to have 7 children. The Aldens and The Standish's mended their fences and went on to found the town of Duxbury, Ma.

And they all lived Happily ever after... Or at least until the Salem Witch Trials!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Dawn M. Grinnell,
Direct Descendant of John and Priscilla Alden

Sincere or Spew?

2011-10-25T20:41:00.003-04:00

"Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see." - Linus Van Pelt

Have you ever known sincerity? By definition:

sin·cer·i·ty [sin-ser-i-tee]
noun, plural -ties.
freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness. (aka.. "the real deal!")

I have been struggling lately with those that claim "sincerity", vs. those that just..

spew:
verb (used without object)
1.
to discharge the contents of the stomach through the mouth; vomit.
verb (used with object)
2.
to eject from the stomach through the mouth; vomit.
3.
to cast forth, gush, or eject, as in disgust or anger: The angry sergeant spewed his charges at us.

Sometimes it is difficult to see between the two defined terms! I know, I know... you can make the case that one should easily be ready to detect true sincerity, vs. ... well... BS... but alas, usually a wound or hurtful experience will be the only way you can truly know!

Today We watched , "The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown", as a treat for a long and tedious day of church, assembly, church, and more church... I felt I need to offer a reward for task-on time today. Ya know,I have watched this movie so many times in my lifetime i can recite most of the dialogue, pick up most of the innuendo, and learn more historically each time I view. (I will say this.. I NEVER laugh less
...so it must be good!)

I have actually blogged about this particular movie in previous years... and continue to find myself back there examining issues of sincerity and loyalty spew and BS
... and at what and whose expense!??

In times past, I have commented over the build-up... Lucy's ability to "fool" Charlie Brown ONE more time with the shameless football track, or maybe that Charlie Brown is really considered "bullied" in today modern view of school society and feel badly for him... And perhaps one is co-dependent with the other... But it still strikes me OVER and OVER again as to Sally's Niavity and steadfast loyalty to Linus sitting in that pumpkin patch... Missing her "Tricks or Treats"... and waiting... waiting... and waiting for that "stupid" Great Pumpkin to show!!!! (It actually infuriates me!)

This school year, (as is the case with most 5s), the romantic "Love bug" is present in my classroom! (Im beginning to think it a spider rather than a ladybug!) We have various pairings, (all age appropriate mind you.. whose marrying whom, who's going to make it together for the school year.. a lifetime!!!)

I wish I could impart my real feelilngs - truly- on this... but ah.. innocence!

There is one significant "pairing" tho this year in our class. (And yes... one of the members is VERY close to me...:( (And a very "Sally-like" counterpart!!!!) He would be willing to wait all night in the patch for the "Great Pumpkin"... and she would wait to show her "Loyalty".

I had them watch this film today- I wanted to shout out... "See... THIS is what happens to little girls who spend their lives waiting in someone else's pumpkin patch all night!!!!"

But alas- I could not...What would that do?? Shatter their illusion of allegiance? Embarrass the parties? Destroy the times in their future where sticking by someone might be a spiritual experience?

I said instead.. "How do you think Sally is feeling now that she has watched all her friends come in and out of the pumpkin patch and she hasn't one piece of sweetened delight to show for her night???

Remember she awaited there... truly, it beyond her own wants. She began to feel for Linus' plight... but still observing that going out on her own, doing her own fun thing with others, and living for today was HER desire! And then there was "Linus". He guilted her... he made her feel that somehow if she believed in him that she would also be visited by "The great Pumpkin!" a Windfall for sure! And basically .. in the end.. she love him.... SO.. what is one to do?????

She reluctantly shrugged her ghostly disguise... and went for the full throttle of the patch! Like a bride headed to Vegas!

She was, at first, firm and just,... so Tammy Wynette,(Hilary Clinton)...
"Stand by your Man" ... until the Media and others started questioning...
"Hey did you see all the candy-loot we got tonight.. and you're stiing here in this stupid patch with him???" Okay??? Ladies.. think of shoes and homes???

(Believe me Sally.. Ive spent MANY Halloweens sitting right along side of you!)

She sat... and sat... she shivered... she got resentful... and finally threw her hands up. .and said.. "Forget it.. I cant believe you got me to do this!"
A woman scorned for sure! But smart and saved!

She cast blame, she named the thief .. she lost a Halloween!! Honestly... That is enough for any woman to question what the hell she is doing?!

Was their true sincerity in that patch??? Not really. True Patch sincerity would have amounted in making her Halloween spectacular! Giving it definition.
Was it Sincerity or Spew?

But did Linus know? Did he question it? Linus really believed this "Great Pumpkin Thing would come..." or did he???? If you watch, He believes almost, honestly because No one else does. He sets himself apart from all the others by believing in this myth because he believes the Great Pumpkin will bring him "riches" that no one else will receive. Its a bit narcissistic don't you think????

And then he engages Sally, in her longing for Linus and her niativity to believe people really want something more from a relationship!

Im torn... Part of me sees Sally's ability to believe in what she cant see... and the other encouarning her to run like hell!!!!

Ironically, the rest of the Peanuts gang is doing what they should be doing.. living in the present.. attending parties, dressing up, picking on the poor neglected kid, and dipping and hiding thru the french WW2 countryside as Snoopy dives into his imagination.

My parting words to Sally today.. et hum.. (Maggie)
"Don't spend your night in a pumpkin Patch with some Boy... you'll miss out on the treats!" (That applies to both sexes).

BTW.. Sally ditches Linus for the good life, only for him to be stubborn. His is retrieved by his very co-dependent sister Lucy at 4am on All Saints Day...

Him, shivering, cold and wet.. and most importantly... Lucy is disgusted ... but loyal.

And most importantly.. truly... I want to know who got all the Resse's Cups the next day?? Was there a winner???? Who got more Tricks or Treats??? Tricks I am afraid.

A learning curve you can't take back... but learn from it very well. NO More Patches with strange boys!!!!

XO, Lucy Van Pelt

The Very Best Pumpkin

2011-10-04T23:45:00.001-04:00

The Very Best Pumpkin
By, Mark Kimball Moulton

A story recently shared these early October days is, “The Very Best Pumpkin”. At first I found it to be a great story about how pumpkins start, grow, and become harvested… until I read it a few times and of course found God in its’ pages!

The story begins with a boy named Peter.
(Of course Peters and Pumpkins go hand in hand!)

Peter works and lives with his grandparents who own a Pumpkin Farm. The farm does produce other “crops” (A vocabulary word for this month), throughout the Spring and Summer as well, but obviously pumpkins are its thing!

The little farm does very well for itself… and Peter discovers during the early summer months that a vine from the main patch has grown out past the boundaries of the pumpkin field into a meadow. As any good steward or shepherd he follows that one stray vine … stepping over pumpkins “cautiously”. (Another vocab word). He finds himself looking down at this little vine and its sweet curlicues. They have nestled into a solemn place on a hill in the meadow. Tucked away from the rest with best intentions of survival.

He leans down and notices that there is growth there! A few stray curlicues, and some weeds pushed aside give away to a small underdeveloped pumpkin. Small but surviving. It has been choked off from growth by the surrounding weeds and accumulating leaves around the small orange sphere.

Peter is thrilled when he spots this little neglected pumpkin trying so hard on its own to survive. He feels it a farmer’s stewardship to help it, and raise it to the level of love and acceptance it will need to become worthy of a family in the Fall!

In many ways Peter represents God in our story. He recognizes that “one got away”. Much like the sheep leaving the pen parable. Surely God would never allow one sheep out of 100 to be let go for the sake of the other 99! And so Peter feels the same way!

I love pumpkin stories because they tell us so much about God’s love for us. They teach about all of us growing from one vine, yet we are all different. They teach us how we are Christians because of this process, and then the process’ to come.

Peter recognizes that this very special pumpkin adrift from the rest is till part of the great fold that he helped to grow and nurture. Some how, some way… it made its way out of the patch and into a meadow. Sometimes, human beings just don’t grow the way the regular, normal ones do. They oft take different paths and need to find their own ways to survive. What I love about this very best pumpkin is that it is still attached to the ONE VINE.

Peter secretly spends the summer cleaning the pumpkin’s new spot. Cautiously tending to its needs. He weeds away the bad ... giving it room for growth and sunlight and water. He even builds a special sign to warn others… “Hey… Caution… This ONE needs more than the rest!” Clearly Peter sees this as a “special and unique” pumpkin. He gives it his TLC, and… Voila... Guess what happens??? The pumpkin thrives!

Peter, however is not alone. A new neighbor has moved in next to the farm…Meg.
Meg is a lonely girl. She is new, hasn’t any friends.. and I feel is somewhat introverted. She resorts to her books under trees to pass the time. It is ALWAYS difficult being the new kid on the block! One day… she spies Peter going to the meadow, and with curiosity she cautiously follows him. Thus beginning weeks of weeks of studying from afar his nurturing ways and sensitivity to this one remote pumpkin. (Kinda of like her!)

As Summer turned to Autumn and people were choosing their pumpkins at the farm, Peter was selling the perfect pumpkins to their rightful owners…. except for the Very Best Pumpkin. Until, Meg came a pumpkin picking. This whole month… no one had shown the dedication to the pumpkin in the meadow like someone as wonderful as Meg. Peter secretly had been watching her day by day. HE knew her timid, and yet he knew she cared. He knew her to be the right one!

Meg glazed and gawked over each and every pumpkin available for sale, but alas… none were meeting her expectation. She had seen them all… fat, skinny, tall, wide… very orange, and not so much… she knew none of the pumpkins measured up to her expectations of the very best pumpkin. She gave up and began to walk away.

It was then Peter…”I have another pumpkin, you may really want…” and with that that tripped and crashed over many ... and cautiously approached the meadow. Peter offered the very best pumpkin to Meg, because she was there each and every day with him. The fact Meg was so invested in watching his care daily, actually caused him to treat the pumpkin so special! And because someone found that quality in him, in turn, he found that quality in someone else!

She found the pumpkin perfect, and the two shared seasons afterwards learning and growing as big as the very best pumpkin they each designed for one another out in the meadow.

I nearly cry each time I read this story… I wonder about how often we’ve allowed something to die under our care when in fact; it was an opportunity to grow us more into relationship with God. Peter saw that this one was different, it actually deserved MORE!
Please remember that some of us need more than others, and the reality is we all need more at various times in our lives. Peter and Meg’s friendship is one in which the ASAP tries very hard to foster each and every day with all of its students. Please look more closely this Fall as to the lessons that the Pumpkin can offer each of us.
Bringing us into a better meadow, or growing spot with one another, and with God.

Happy Autumn,
Miss Dawn

The Big Rocks

2011-09-05T18:30:00.001-04:00

The Big Rocks
Anonymous

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers, he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen ish-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would it inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?” Everyone in the class said, “Yes.” “Really?” he said. He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. He asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time, the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good,” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand into the jar and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is the jar full?” “No,” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things into it!” “No,” the speaker replied, “that is not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.”

I have illustrated this sermon several times in my career as a Christian Educator to both big and small people. I actually think the children understand the engineering aspect of it more than the grown-ups do. However, when we go back a 2nd time in the experiment, and I label what the “The Big Rocks and the Little Rocks” are…. a very sheepish look crosses the faces of my audience.

This is a lesson about prioritizing what is really important in life. It is not be confused with how many tasks we can multi-manage at once. (As that can also be a waste of time and needless busywork).

Let’s be clear….if we do not fill the void initially with what is really of value, and then place all the little, sort-of meaningless pieces in first, how on earth will we ever fit the real ones when we need to do that? Obviously the “Big Rocks” are of different value to us all. Some will place hopefully God, Family, Friends, Marriage, and perhaps Education initially. (Then the second layers could look more like vacations, trips, money, sports, shopping, etc). However for others, it may look initially more like Wealth, Power, Fame and Status, (then maybe God, Friends, family, trips, etc). And in the end, we must decide how we feel when our life is filled with the rocks we need or want.

What if you select Option B …The Money/Power/Status life? Surely, when you move on to the next set of medium rocks they will have to do with supporting the life of your Big Rocks. Which then would need to do that, perhaps, Expensive Cars, Fine Clothing, Country Clubs and the like? If you can imagine your life as the contents of this particular jar, then the time after it becomes slim pickings for where the other lesser sized items shall fit…Friends, Family, and HOPEFULLY God. Think of God, in this scenario as the sand... or the water… the last choice and final addition, as it doesn’t require much space to you… the cars, homes and wealth are occupying those larger areas. How on earth could God work in our life if God needs to meander his way into the nooks and crannies of our life???

We are told that God knows all things. The Bible is clear that God has a plan for each of us. But, God also loves us so much that he gives us the free will to choose our big rocks. It is up to us if we choose to fill our lives with our plan, or God’s. September is like our 2nd New Year; I sometimes say that to the children. And as a new year begins for the lives of our children, and their families, you may want to fill up a jar at home some night with your family after dinner and see where your Big Rocks will lie for this school year ahead of us! Remember when you make the first of the Big Rocks, God, then anything else you place in the jar is merely a blessing of God’s and that is already waiting for your enjoyment. When God is first, there is enough room for all that matters!!!

Happy New Year,
Miss Dawn

The Face of Resurrection

2011-05-01T19:34:00.003-04:00

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror, I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer...If You Wanna Make The World a Better Place...
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change. -Michael Jackson

Do you you know what a resurrected man looks like? Interestingly enough, I have been talking this past week to my young friends about what in fact happens AFTER Jesus is raised. It is interesting in the way that we spend so much time on the pre-Easter story... the build up of Jesus' ministry, His Passion, and cruxifiction and finally, the empty Tomb. We rejoice in all its' mystery, wonder and meaning. Some take this story as "Gospel" if you will. In fact the very cornserstone of our faith, others a parable, or moreover a metaphor, for a changed existence.
(For the good!)

The Gospel of John this week in Acts speaks of a doubting man that knew Jesus prior to his violent death. We are not sure why Thomas is missing from the 1st appearance of Jesus in the room upstairs. We do know though that Thomas is unbelieving in the remaining 10's story of a risen Lord. He has not been faced with looking at a Resurrected man.

Hell, are any of us???

I am often regarded as a teacher who preaches aboves the heads of my charges about such events. I have fortuneatly been blessed, "charged", with a gift of bringing such abstract and heady principles to the hearts and minds of the young. Although, the resurecction has its moments of sincerity and true meaning... regardless, it is still hard to relate to small children... "Yeah, Jesus died and then he came back to life again 3 days later!" (Which is ususally followed up by a question like... "Well I waited 3 days Miss Dawn for my Mimi to come back and she hasn't!" (Ugh.)

I am grateful that I am not alone in this charge of relating such material to the young! Our school chaplain this past week asked immediately in his intro to his Homily... "So boys and girls what does it mean to be resurrected?" I was pleased and proud to watch my 5 year olds jump all over this line of questioning, but even more so that the priest told of his concerns for not knowing "exactly" what that meant either!!

I chose that Michael Jackson piece as my intro into this blog... it struck me that those words are very much related to what a resurrected person looks like given a mirror!

Its rather curious and obvious simulataneously that NO ONE can actually SEE the resurrected Jesus!! (At first). We first recognize this concept at that tomb. A weeping Mary Magdalene on that 1st Easter does not "see" her Master. She thinks she sees a gardner hired to take care of the grounds. She asks, "Where have you taken my Lord?" And then she hears.. "Mary... Mary..." She drops to her knees upon "hearing" her name spoken by the risen Christ. How many times have you not seen but been called?? Equally, the Disciples do not believe M2 when she appraoches them with this news. They think she is imagining something she wants to be real. Then Christ appears to them and speaks, "Peace be with you." They are elated and stunned that Jesus is in fact the same, but new. On the Road to Emmaus, two of Jesus' followers are walking to the next village directly following that tumultous weekend and they are discussing the horrid events. They are joined on the walk by Jesus... whom, as I tell children, "Is in His Resurrection Costume," and is unable to be recognized. (By those not willing to believe yet). It is not until Jesus is invited to stay the night and share a meal with this "stranger" that the 2 are called to recognize Jeus in his actions fo reaching out to help a stranger. Jesus then Breaks the Bread and passes it to them... they realize or recognize the face of a resurrected Christ!

Our friend Thomas today when doubting the remaining 10 says.. "Unless I can touch His side and place my fingers in his nail markings will I believe." And surely, Jesus gives Thomas the fulfillment of his desire by appearing and inviting Thomas to believe through touch. Thomas immediately knows and drops only to say "My Lord and God." Jesus, states..." Thomas, You have touched and therefore you believe, Blessed are those that need not and still do!" I tell the children that is all of us!

(Although ironically, The exception is the child in my Passion Play this year who played Jesus, I come to find out is really my Thomas!")

What does a resurrected face look like? I always tell the children when Christ is risen and returns that he is glowing in a light we can't seem to see. It is a light of purity and goodness, selflessness and grace. I do believe we catch glimpses of it when the time is right for us to see, touch, taste or hear God's Good News.

Some see resurrection when they look at a new born baby, (perhaps at our Christmas baby), or a couple marrying, (much like I did this past Firday when Princess Diana's son married that beautiful girl). Others see it when a truly miraculous hope was fulfilled... a cure from cancer, an extension of time on a dream, something that was lost is found such as a Prodigal Son returning to his Father. I often see it when I have driven home an educational homerun.. a concept now received and understood! Regardless, it is a transformation that couldn't be witnessed prior because of our human obstruction to it. It is amazing when we can see all wonder finally! When we remove the fears, and the doubts... the anger and pain to see what has already been made new for us. And a newness that will transform us to never be the same again.

Michael Jackson sings of a man, himself, recognizing that this world in all it's hurts and despair can be changed. Many of us cannot see that... much like the way we could not see the risen Christ. But MJ was a visionary. He truly believed and grieved over the hopelessness that others feel. We know many men such as this, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandala, I could go on.

One day you may wake and go to your mirror when you are ready to face the resurrected Jesus, take a look at yourself and make that change... make this world a better place.
But as the lyrics say... It must start with you!

Jesus did not ask the others to go with him that Good Friday,
(Or as my friends say.. "Sad Friday").
He went before us. He didn't ask the others to go and make the sacrifices before him... he began with himself. He did as the Father asked Him to do. And in the words of Catherine of Sienna, "He set the world a fire".

What face will you see the next time you stand before your mirror? Or on the Road to Emmaus? Your classroom? The streets of Newport? Take a good look at and be prepared to be graced with a Resurrected Jesus!

Happy Easter,
Miss Dawn

'tis the season

2011-01-10T20:31:00.003-05:00

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling.. ring-ting-tingaling too..."

Oh come on.... That's at least Wintery??!!

I know, Christmas is over. This happens to be my least favorite time of the year. Probably for most of us I can imagine. But honestly I question why. I enter this phase each and every year Post-Christmas/Holidays Blues. The Crash!!! I should know that it is coming... and yet if I did prepare myself for it each year, I highly doubt I could face the work, challenges and sheer joyful madness that I tend to display around the birth of Christ that is necessary to put on Pageants, Christmas Parties, and the like... and see the utter bliss associated with out of control festive holiday happiness!

But does it all need to come to a screaching halt like that? At least therapists take you down from your meds a bit at time... not cold turkey! The reality is we just spent months eating really yummy warm turkey! Now- its off to the couch!

Mania of most types is a pyshcological frame of mind that I can relate too and yet highly disagree with. I am not the largest fan of manic behaviors and how they "explain" or "influence" actions away in life. I am not convinced that a small pill taken a few times a day cures our mental disorders, and I certainly know it doesnt erase them. But there is a clear mania associated with the holiday season, that is a "quick fix". It is the little red and green stiped pill that masks reality and helps us to cope until we are really ready to face life again... That being, New Year's Day.

I start planning my Halloween costumes sometime in July. (Well to be fair to me, I usually have 3 to plan for so I do like to beign early:) Who will I be this year? For school? For play? And for anything in-between?? That already sets us up for the next 2 months of "Let's Pretend"!

Then the Christmas music begins... When did this tradition begin? I am told it a way for radio stations to cut back on end of the year expenses by playing scripted Holiday Music all day and night forgoing DJ support to help fix end of the year budgets. I am told it helps "Stimulate" our poor economic status by forcing shoppers to be in the mood a month early. I am told it just helps the general population "feel better" that they know a happy time is here.. even tho it is only All Saints Day! Whatever happened to the proper doom and gloom of the darkest month of the year... November? The month where we actually remember the dead? Celebrate War Veterans, vote for politicians, (Oh yeah, the dead again...) and watch the leaves turn and fall to their demise??? I guess we, as a culture, are all set with death too.

Then there is a thought of Thanksgiving.... We think of table decor, party games, Football, Pie baking, and US Trivia questions. It's kind of like the Play Off games beginning for "The Big Game". The reality test of, "Will I be strong enough to endure this dinner another 3x before the year closes with a variety of people I either long to see or dread!" It's the test of how good my game will be when the "big game" arrives! It is also the 1st Holy Thursday, or the Feast the Last Supper! Ya know... before "Black Friday".
(Funny how we never elude to Jesus' last Friday that way? We consider His "Good!" )

Black Friday... The kick off to the Busiest Shopping weekend of the Year! The media coverage is amazing- as we watch the retailers ready to pull themselves out of the reality of red sales all these months and jettison into mania we have come to know as the Christmas Shopping Season. The King of Kings! The Savior of All!

Retail on this day is for everyone! It's like Christ coming to ALL a month early!

What happened to Advent? You know... That funny little time where we "WAIT". We prepare "The Way", as the Baptist taught us. That odd little 4 week period of Purple and Rose candles ensconsced in a evergreen wreath. A quiet reflective anticipatory time where we think about how we want Christ to come back to us and in us. A time where we aren't immursed in parties, music and maritinis. A time where we prepare ourselves for the joy during the true Christmas Season... December 25th-January 6th! Why is that even our Advent Calendars need to have chocolate behind each window? Surely, we cannot wait unless there is a reward each day?? Why on an Advent calendar is Santa the last door we open on December 25th? Santa's not a bad guy.. honestly, as I tell my kids.. He's just 2nd! I feel badly for brides who are unchurched with grand dreams of a "Christmas" wedding on December 10th! Somehow the Ruby Red bridesmaid dresses and the Periwinkle Blue candles and Altar cloth do not seem to jive!!!

We forgot to wait. And that's because in our culture we are taught not too anymore.

Then there is the Superbowl of Holidays, Christmas! My favorite! People think I'm NUTS by hosting Christmas Pageants so "close" to Christmas! I hosted a rather large one this year. It was wonderful and breath-taking. It made me wait and work hard through Advent. It made me wonder WHY I do this!! (LOL) But, that is truly Advent! I received mostly allocades all around .. even from the onset of the prepartion.. although, there were one or two letters of inquiry by Catholic parents wondering if I were nuts trying to add one more thing like a "Pageant" to the insanity of what already HAS to be done during the Holiday Season???!!! I also was asked.. Do you realize this is so SO close to Christmas time? Yes, There is something rewarding about presenting a Pageant after Advent 4 and near the Solstice that makes it somewhat authentic! Thanks, I am aware.. It helps me to gain my perpestive on WHY we do this every year!

Its exciting for sure! All the hustle and bustle of preparing .The energizing music.. even if it has been playing since Election Day. The lights that twinkle, (or not), with the wonder. The staying up 'til 1am every night buying and wrapping.. and buying a wrapping, etc.. Until our immune systems are so worn down we catch the stomach virus 3x before the kids are on break! Baking cookies that we only need to be lectured about to lose weight from 2 weeks later. The foods rich in fat and calories that we shouldn't be eating until January 1st. And how about that poor tree??? Man, I tell you. We are now in need of evergreen translpant sap to keep it living for 9 weeks in the heat!

This year, we got our tree on Christmas Eve morning. It was beautiful, fresh, $12.50, and headed for the Chrsitmas Heaven anyway if we didnt' scoop it up and give it the home it was destined for! It still went to Christmas Tree Heaven anyway! (A kid's book to follow on that one)!

When my mom was little Santa brought the tree to her home... and the gifts! When I was little the tree would come right around Advent 3 or 4. And nowadays.. the tree goes up before the 1st purple candle does!

Then we end it all with, well, the uneventful and boring "Bowl" games that land on New Years Day. That regret filled, newly-realized resolutionary day filled with empty hopes and failed promises already. A day that follows, probably the worst amateur night, (next to St. Patty's Day Parade Day in Newport.) A day that is supposed to be about New Beginnings and celebrated hopes of the future. A new year, A new chance, A new way to be!!! And what do we do??? We rip down the decorations, stop having fun, lament about all the bad decisons we made for the last 6 weeks, and grieve the mania that is now replaced with reality that our Christmas-Meds are not being refilled! Instead of Rejoice we are faced with Regret. Instead of Hope... Hopelessness!

I feel like, (although Mania-induced maybe), we do all this work to, Go Tell It on the Mountain... only to fall off the cliff on New Year's Day.

The stores are barron, the music stops at midnight Decmber 25th. The dishes are in the sink. We aren't happy because we didn't get the big ticket item we could've sworn our spouse would've put us into debt over for a moment of happiness one morning. We are now stuck with the purchase, or bill of service of whatever just broke down 2 days before Christmas, (cause that's how life rolls). The kids are still fighting .. (now over more than they had to fight over pre-Santa). The decorations are broken and scattered. The tree all of a sudden looks like a wilted mess. I ate and drank too much and pissed off my mother-in-law... and hopefully she did too! It's like one of the kids fairy tale books that are now in print, "The other side of the story." You know where the villain gets to air his side of the tale and how he was wronged!

And Old St. Nick.. man he's the only one with the right idea... he leaves the goods and get's the hell out of here leaving everyone to wonder where does he go to relax?? Cause.. it's January, and the cries of vacation season are starting to beckon! I am positive Santa does not begin a diet, and I know the North pole only shuts down for a vacation!

Then it's done and over. Nothing. It isn't a slow death either. It's quick and dirty! We are left to watch ads no longer of of sappy coffee companys bringing home college students unexepectedly from an interternship in Africa to reunite Christmas morning with his longing family... But to Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem commercials! All of a sudden I am wondering why I didn't invest enough money this year in my retirement account (or at all). I am left figuring out why I need to go to a Bridal Expo or hunt down my favorite cruise and travel company immediately??!!

And if doesn't just make matters worse, I happen to revolve another year around the sun on January 3rd and ponder why at the age of 45 this happens to me year after year?

Do I have the answers to these questions and statements?? No, I do not. I wish I did. I have opened every bottle of Holiday Lexipro I see hanging around my house and work, and for the life of me I cannot pull out the cheer I am supposed to feel. Instead, it feels more like the rug, was just pulled out from under me. I view myself as one of the luck ones tho- at least I don't begin singing Nov 1st and wonder why it all come to screeching halt. I am a realist. I believe in the "reason" for the season". Corny, as it may sound. I'd rather give a nice birthday gift to you, and remember whose real birthday we've come to celebrate this sacred day. I choose, to indulge for a week, and then go back to my old eating habits January 2nd. My martinis don't ever change color regardless of the color of the season! I still shop when Christmas is over, eat turkey during the year, and agonize over my marital status, (good and bad), even in July! And neither does Santa...if it's good enough for him.. then it should be good enough for us all!

And remember, Jesus, Mary and Joseph never went to Gethsemane to cut down a live tree every year to drag in!

Christmas doesn't solve all of our earthly problems in the world... And I hope it never will... except to say that "Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day, To save us all from Satan's power when we have gone astray... Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy, Comfort and Joy, Oh Tidings of comfort and Joy!"

Here's to auld lang syne,
MD-

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf

2010-10-10T09:17:00.003-04:00

Have you ever read the famous children's story, " The Fall of Freddie the Leaf"? Famous author, and educator, Leo Buscaglia defines nicely in this story how death is a part of living, metaphorically, through a leaf named Freddie.

From the beginning Freddie realizes he is one among many that are seemingly just like him. He finds himself one of hundreds born, and growing simultaneously on one tree. Early on, Freddie is befriended by the largest leaf on the tree, Daniel. Daniel educates Freddie, that as a leaf, they have a purpose to make people and animals happy. Provide them with shade, breeze, a spot to play, or romance under. He explains to Freddie about the seasons, the moon, the sun and the stars... he also explains about death.

Following a summer of dancing in the warm breezes and playing with the other leaves, Freddie begins noticing that his friends are beginning to change color and fall. He inquires to Daniel why this is happening. Daniel simply explains that the leaf is dying and moving to a new home. Freddie, is astounded.. "Dying? Not me-" Daniel further explains that nobody lives forever in one place. He explains that we live together in one spot, enjoy the life, and then ready ourselves to live in a different place or way. He explains to Freddie it is painless and natural. He offers to Freddie that he did wonderful things as a leaf.

As the Autumn continues, Freddie sees himself as purple, a wonderful hue that is indicative of the changing process that he has undergone through his living as a leaf. He watches all of his friends change and fall from the tree, even Daniel. Daniel dies just before Freddie.

Freddie finds himself the last remaining leaf , now faced with snow on the ground. Freddie comes to terms with the cold, bitterness, and loneliness that has become his legacy. He is no longer even purple. He is a brown shriveled up version of what he used to be. He decides, I think, that in fact, that is no way to live either. A gentle breeze comes and takes Freddie slowly off the branch. Freddie lets go, and gracefully falls onto a cushion of snow. When Freddie reaches the ground, he finally can see the tree . He sees what it all meant. He remembers the fun and love and laughter he provided to others in his lifetime. He finds out that new life will bud again in the springtime. He is happy that he finally let go.

I thought of this story yesterday morning. I haven't read this book in years, and yet it popped into my head for a number of reasons when I was pondering some big decisions. I had the rare opportunity of a morning alone, sipping my coffee, and looking at the early morning sun shine through the near peaking colors on a tree in front of me. I watched this one clump of pretty, almost reddish colored leaves glistening, and prancing in the warm early Autumn sun. I thought..."I wonder if the tree had a good summer?" I wonder if the leaves realize that their dancing was almost over? (And if they did, would they do something diferent than what they were doing?) I wonder if they felt they did a good job as a leaf? Or better yet, how they worked as a group to provide for the good of the whole? I wondered if they even realized what they did for people, squirrels, cats, the environment... for God by being a leaf?

We all have a Daniel in our lives. Someone who is bigger than life, who sees the big picture.. someone who jumps in head first because he knows that that is what living is all about! He possess the wisdom to know that the fun and mission is simple. He knows you do the best and biggest job you can do with what you are given. Daniel, is obviously a leader. He is classified as the biggest leaf on the tree. I visual him as this huge red maple in his Autumn years. One with a large stem not showing evidence that the elements have affected him. No nicks in his perfect 3-pointed structure. I applaud his mentoring of Freddie. I applaud his staying with Freddie until he knows when it is time for the breeze to take him on to his next journey.

Freddie, is like most of us. Uncertain. In the dark really, about what his purpose is in life. Somehow doubting that dancing in the breeze of life and the comfort and protection we provide to those around us is simply enough. I sense that Freddie doesn't dance as hard, shade as much, or grow as big, because he is always wondering about what is next. He wonders that he is somehow missing something else, or another life. Maybe that of the squirrel, or the the children who play under him. In doing so, his very short seasoned-life becomes eminent. He hasn't quite accepted why he is aging. He doesn't realize that his beautiful purple hue is a result of doing all the good he did for others. He misses the blessing.

In the end Freddie, still holding on to the past, clings to the naked sleeping tree. The sky is grey and cold, and the frost has turned to snow. The tree of life is heading into a natural phase of hibernation and rebirth. He misses the message in himself, and he clings for dear life. He clings to an old message, an old script, because he feels it safer there, than to what lies ahead of him. Even Daniel leaves. Was it a safe place anymore? In the end Freddie lets go, and gracefully succumbs to the breeze that will bring him to his rebirth and new life. He understands the message.

This Autumn ask yourself will you be a Freddie or a Daniel? What beautiful color do you want to show off? How will you want your fall to look like? What do you need to let go of in order to move on to your rebirth?

Falling for October,
Miss Dawn

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly....

2010-09-21T19:26:00.002-04:00

"there's no place home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...."

I've got rainbows on my mind lately... it not a wonder considering I covered Noah's Ark last week in Chapel at school! I have been teaching God 101 this month, and well.. "In the beginning..." God creates this system of promises, accompanied by signs, that manifest into covenants that fulfill a lifetime relationship between us and our Creator! (If we listen!!!!!)

It's been an awkward year for me. I have not been able to receive my usual "signs" that are delivered with frequency by God.. as I haven't had a preaching audience, in any fashion. I had to go back to ancient times and live in darkness for a bit.. Wait for my Manna to fall from the sky. See the bird with the leaf in her mouth, and and just wait for all the colors to come out.

My kids are my 1st wonder from the Almighty. He speaks to me through them. He tested me this year however, and I need to open my heart and head to other paths in order to find my direction. My GPS had been on auto pilot for too long, or perhaps it just needed new batteries!

I struggled preaching about Adam and Eve the week before last. I have mixed feelings about the temptation toward Eve.. why Adam is so easy going, and why God allowed bad into the Garden to begin with. I question why Jesus' death on the Cross wipes away Original Sin... and why we continue to believe in such a myth so strongly. I do understand now, however, what the pieces represent and why we speak of them. And perhaps that is all I need to understand! As I told the children, that the sign we receive in not listening to God, (our GPS... God's Positive Sign), is a sick tummy and a feeling of shame! We do know however, that one bad apple does spoil the whole bunch! (Lesson learned!)

I did not struggle so much about teaching the Creation Story the week before that... as even my near 5 yr old friends sense there is something to be suspect in God creating everything in 6 days! However, I did tell them that the sign for that is represented in how tired God was that he needed a full day of doing nothing to be the sign of how hard we work all week.

God's signs and wonders continue to present themselves stronger and stronger as we walk through the Old Testament. This week we learn the hilarity of Abraham and Sarah conceiving a child when they were clearly,"beyond". God informs Abrahm, (his name at the time), that he would become the father of many! To rival all of the stars dazzling in the sky! "How could that be???? I am an old man", thought Abrahm. But as Abraham, follows God, changes his course and name, he soon discovers not only is he a father to a nation, but also to the long awaited son, Issac. Sarah, (Sarai), laughed with astonishment of the thought until he materialized and the wonder and sign was born unto them! Proving that nothing is impossible in God's world, time, or infinite love!

Noah had quite a few signs... birds of peace/Holy Spirit, life from an olive tree that came to mean peace, and a bow of color set in the sky to show Noah that God had made a promise and a covenant to the Earth to never flood it completely again. I oft wonder about the shape of the rainbow if you fit over the ark it forms a perfect circle again... a sign to me that God's Love is eternal. There is no beginning , nor end, in His time. The circle is forever.

I often think about the day after 9/11 when it rained so hard and people went to be with their families and friends... their was a rainbow cast so big in the sky that evening... I nearly wept as a sign from God that those who lost that day, had really won. God was telling us all it would be okay.

As the signs come "flooding" toward me these past weeks of school... I am reminded of a few myself. That the winds do die. The storms do cease, dry land will be found when you launch the bird of peace to find it for you, and the bow will be set in the sky! When God strikes a covenant with you be sure you realize that He will be there to own His part of it.

I have a few signs that God and I worked out in past hours of prayer to indicate that I am at least being heard. (I do think it goes beyond that... but my small-minded sense of faith at times wants to know somebody has heard my request! ) Years ago, God and I chose 2 symbols to know that He was around. They have come to mean different things for me. And for that I choose to keep within my covenant with God. However, I don't mind sharing that my totems are the ladybug and white feathers. These things come to me during the oddest times and hours. I have learned that they really find me when my weakness in hearing or seeing my God is present. God loves me so much that he humbles Himself and send me ridiculous totems to show His concern and care. To say the least, I've seen many of these 2 in these last weeks of teaching! I am aware, that I am exactly where I should be.

I think back to the Wizard of Oz, and to a time that the rainbow's colors were bleeding or not visible at all to me. I realized that after teaching Noah's story to my friends last week... God in fact, made my rainbow as shiny as he could. My covenant is strong, and the colors vibrant. I also realized that somewhere over that rainbow my bluebirds still fly, The Emerald City is a myth, The Wizard is present, the yellow brick road a choice, witches die, you know who your friends are, and you can always go home!

Some things, (covenants), that never change.... The show must go on, Christmas is coming, and
bluebirds do fly!

And this will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Luke 2:12

DG...(Dawn Grinnell/ Dorothy Gale)

Once Upon A Dream

2010-09-05T19:03:00.004-04:00

I know you I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam. Yes, I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem. But if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream.

As I am waltzing around my classrooms, life, and new school, I can't help hum this oh so familiar tune from my all time favorite Disney flick, "Sleeping Beauty". I am as happy as Princess Aurora/Briar Rose brisking around without a care in the world adorning animals, and gazing at my new image in the woodland pool, as the 16 year old Aurora does. Aurora, realizing she is a grown up woman! Aurora, "Briar Rose", (her alias, as the mean and ugly Maleficent is still threatening to end her life, is given this alias by her protective fairies, to protect her).

Ironically I must laugh, as things occur to me...

1.) Is that I feel for Aurora, having to go into "hiding" for a bit in order for her destined life to be protected from Maleficent, while gaining her strength to do what she has come here to do!
2.) That she longingly awaits her true Prince, her destiny, wherever he may be. And yet she knows, somehow, music will be involved!
3.) That my name, "Dawn", in Spanish, actually means Aurora.
4.) And that it was my favorite movie in my early childhood years, according to my Baby Book.

Aurora and I share a kindred past! Aurora is born as a "very wanted child" to a King and Queen. Fertility was clearly an issue, and in Medieval Times, I am sure a blessing to receive whatever gender God bestowed upon you. (That part, I cannot relate too, altho maybe now!!)

She is seen as someone very significant. There are plans made for her from the very beginning. She is betrothed to a 4 year old Prince Phillip as the family is looking forward to her Baptism. There was fanfare and guests, beautiful decor, and then.. Maleficent! A wicked and evil witch, dragon-being that appears and hoists a spell onto Aurora that will not take affect until her dreaded sixteenth birthday. Her fate is a prick, (no.. read on)... from a spinning wheel! A poisonous prick that will end her life forever. Hmmmmm???

"Listen well, all of you. The Princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But, before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger, on the spindle of a spinning wheel - AND DIE!"

The parents of Aurora employ the help of the 3 castle fairies... Flora, Fauna and Merryweather to hide, a now, "Briar Rose" in a quaint cottage in the wood until her 16th revolution around the sun. She will then re-appear safely as "Princess Aurora." AH... only in Fairy Tales! I love the fairies.. or fairy godmothers! They are really business women left to the rearing of this innocent child! They are devoid of the abilities of how to sew, cook, bake, sing and sometimes their magic... out of the job market too long! However, they love Aurora and desperately do everything in their power to keep her safe.

The fate filled day arrives... Rose awakes on her 16th day with a spring in her step.. she carried on her normal chores and greets the little animals of the forest, each and every one with a song! She is full of life and exuberance. As she is serenading the Owl, "Once upon a Dream", I only begin to know how happy she is to be thinking of her life, her future husband, Phillip, whom she has forgotten, and more importantly, her destined role as Princess Aurora.

Her voice, is clear and carries throughout the forest attracting all.. and guess who??? Prince Phillip! (She thinks him, a commoner.) Prince Phillip, her disguised Knight in Shining Armor, Her Prince, Her soul mate is captivated and helps her sing this haunting song while they waltz innocently throughout the forest.

Ahhh....

She is called away and then she is faced with her destiny. Her re-entry into the castle! The fairies have done their work.. of course with some added magic when they could muster it... and poof she is a Princess again!

She is plagued with emotion.. "I need my commoner boyfriend.. yet I am a princess".. Not realizing this is exactly how fate operates... partially she thinks of escaping back into her former role of woodland nymph and then.....Maleficent!

She is brought down to a sleepy unconsciousness... witches have the knack to do that to you! Only through the power of love can Aurora rise. Phillip must fight the evil in order to get close enough to his sleeping beauty to bestow the kiss of life on to her lips and awaken her to a life where everyone is happy and filled with emotion in the castle again!

Malificent is defeated- and the couple is free to ..well.. move about the cabin!

Aurora is back to doing what she does!

I am back to my destiny. I am no longer Briar Rose, but Aurora. I am back in my destined role, I am with my valiant Prince, and mkaing life wonderful to the little ones in the forest!

Maleficent is dead!

I love my Fairies...(you know who all are)... and the animals are gathered around me singing again!

The spell is broken.

"Oh my life is changing everyday, every possible way.
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems, never quite as it seems. I know I felt like this before, but now I’m feeling it even more because it came from you. Then I open up and see, the person fumbling here is me, a different way to be. I want more, impossible to ignore...Impossible to ignore. They’ll come true, impossible not to do, impossible not to do.

Now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don’t hurt me, for what I couldn't find!
Talk to me amazing mind, so understanding, and so kind, you’re everything to me!

Oh my life is changing everyday, every possible way.
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems’cause you’re a dream to me.. a Dream to me!"

Guess, who's back? Guess who's back Guess back.... Guess whose back....

And they all lived happily ever after. THE END. Amen.

Welcome back to school. Have a wonderful year!
Miss Dawn

God's Convenience Store... the inconvenient truth

2010-06-26T09:15:00.005-04:00

Have you ever played the Lottery? I imagine at some point in life you have, give or take your enthusiasm in such sport. I have discovered that in life, Lottery participation is either more or less depending on how you fall into that play! I understand that it is much like gambling, a quick fix to a waiting for the end of money woes... fixing empty promises. Perhaps for some it is just fun... however I do know that it can be debilitating and dangerous for many. Today's blog is about my need to understand the Lottery culture, if you will... it is one that has perplexed me for some time and one that I cannot ever see me joining. But am I really different in my own need for instant fulfillment?? However intriguing, the quick-fix psychology is making me take a good long look at how we live...

I like to drink a huge fountain diet soda each day. My favorite, when they have it, is Diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper otherwise I settle for my Diet Pepsi. Of course, I can fix it anyway I like. Typically for me... lots of ice, to die down the content of carbonation and caffeine, (that's why I need it so large... although my health guru friends often wonder why I drink this chemical concoction, as I eat very good foods all the time). But I know that I can prepare the drink myself, get it to the counter, fork over my $1 or exact change, and hit the road fast to wherever I am headed that day... except when I am usually behind a Lottery player! ugh...

You know this to be true. We have all been there. Me, I think even more. I am as addicted to my fountain soda, I think, as they are to playing the Mega-whatever!

Upon entering the convenience store I case the joint as though I am going to hold it up. I look down aisles, checking for suspicious Lottery frequenters or mere look-a-likes! I usually like seeing some at the counter when I go in. It makes me know that while I am powering up my Dr. Pepper to the brim they are nearly done purchasing their 40 Power ball combinations.

What is a quick pick anyway??? Whatever it is, it isn't very quick- is all I can say!!!

I can hear the requests being made to the clerk from the soda station..."I'll take 2 Baseball somethings, I'll "need" 6 Seasonal tickets.. (I guess if you scratch off enough Christmas presents or Easter baskets you may win a $1 off )... Would it have not been more cost and time effective to just buy your Christmas presents on a budget instead of trying to win them through a 50% chance?

By this time, I feel like this person may be near the end... I have rung up at least $20 in ticket purchases in my head while sipping my Diet waiting in line now to cash out. Could it be possible that this person is ready to go to his car and scratch them off instantly??? Cause I need to be work here pretty soon... Just as the transaction is completed... this machine begins to play a song.... "You're in the money!!" (Personally, The Floyd's cash register sounds in the song Money would be the one I would choose... they should ask you in advance of handing them a winning $1 ticket .. it could make us music people consider playing!
(sshh.. I think I just invented something here!)

Shite... That's a $5 win!!!!... ugh... I close my eyes and know what is coming next, "I'll take...." I look behind me and now see a line wrapped around the store of folks just like me with exact change, a loaf of bread or a complaint that their gas card isn't working right and they to need fuel up to get somewhere quick.

You then see heads drop... sounds of frustration, and me.. I just eyeroll out of my utter fascination and frustration that this sport is so tantalizing for people. My judgement seeps in which is now coupled with anger from being held up, ( a huge pet peeve of mine), and my own angst about what little money I earn... do I really need this $1 Soda pop?? YES I DO!!!!

Being the super efficiently organized person that I am I begin to think why stores haven't figured out how to do this better??? I can figure out 3 good solutions in that 5 minutes of standing there! Why can't there be a space at the counter for folks who just want to play the Lottery?? Like at Stop-n-Shop or BJ's.. the courtesy desk... just for them! It would be great. The person who could help them would know all there is in expediting their order quickly, or not.. I do notice that many of these Lottery players love attention . They love to come in and shoot the day's breeze, find out the daily scuttle but and talk to their merchant like in the old west days. I ask why don't they have a need to be somewhere quickly?? Retired, lonely I imagine. The clerks do need to be available to them immediately though if they should win, and require more instant gratification.

If this business model took place it keeps the rest of the populous happy and fast paced so we can plow through our day too!!! Thus, making 2 types of convenience people. The clerk on the other side could help the exact change person, fix the gas crisis, and get baby aspirin quickly to a parent who has a screaming baby home in pain at 10pm!! (Or a late night drinker who needs food before they don't have time or energy to create at 2am). Ah. Yes.. to have it all figured out. Meanwhile, now that I have a solution, I am still waiting and stewing even more that I have figured out their problem for them, leaving me still waiting!!

Once I see the last of their purchases, I really am annoyed by this part.. the guilt. The person will typically turn around and just when you think they may say that they are sorry for such inconvenience in a convenience store they project and BLAME you for their self-hatred in spending $40 unnecessarily, not to mention causing 40 people to stop moving ahead with their plans! I often love the comments proceeding, "I'll bet you thought you were going to be here all day!!" or even better, "Smile!" :(

The minute I get the chance to break to the counter and hand my money over, I am already out the door faster than Lottery boy can get to his car for the scratch-athon! That annoys me too! I then begin to talk to myself .. did they earn enough this year in winnings to make up for the losses? Is this really important? How is it they have so much free time and expendable income to do this? Then the questions get deeper and even more harsh. Then my guilt seeps in. Meanwhile, I wait and watch the person .. and there disability usually indicates why I was able to cruise to my car at clock speed.

Christian thing? Um.. not sure. Both the Catholic and Episcopal Dioceses here in RI have clear laws about gambling, raffles, auctions and the like. Of course, they would love for your to give/gamble your money on their brand of happiness. Hell, this week in California, Arnold just passed a law finally stopping folks to cash their welfare checks at casinos!!! wow.. that didn't happen instantly did it? Perhaps, the church is a wiser choice. I do question much about this, but ultimately my line waiting days often lead me to a place of serious contemplation about all this instant gratification world we live in. The notion of "free or won" fortunes that our government preys upon the have-nots making false promises for better days ahead if you just take the risk! (Again, sure this isn't rooted in old church philosophy??)

I was a poor economics student in college. I barely scraped by this class.. one thing I did learn though was that there are no free lunches! That was the most valuable piece of knowledge that surpassed most other tidbits in all my collegiate wisdom ironically. And it is true. Eventually a price is paid in life for anything... regardless of how you may see yourself deserving it.

It saddens me that we are a quick fix society. Those of us waiting to zip in and zip out of Walmart or the soda store aren't really any better I guess. Maybe we feel that getting to our next destination holds the same emotional value as thinking you'll get rich over night by taking chance?? As I stand anxiously waiting to get my soda I shouldn't wonder why this person is so in need of these instant poverty remedies.. need is in the eye of the beholder. I could easily place that $1 a day in the basket every Sunday and hopefully it will be given to someone who is REALLY in need!

Jesus reminds us that things CAN change over night, as well as He suggests that waiting to enter into the Kingdom of God is a lifelong process of living, trust, faith and karmic choices. In the meantime, we must wait and trust in God's time for what we want and need. God's Convenience Store is made up of inconveniences designed for the individual to bring us instant gratification with God's peace if we choose to wait in the line of life

Off for my soda,
Miss Dawn

Don't force the bloom!

2010-06-10T21:06:00.002-04:00

I have felt the need to blog all week and yet I just didn't' know how to tie it all up ... I kept saying don't blog until you really know what you need to say... tonite it hit me.."Don't force the bloom!" Ah... I haven't been reminded of this phrase in some time... and it just crept back in late this afternoon after I watched something happen I did not expect to occur.

Some of you know that I am an avid lover of the Christmas Flower ... The Amaryllis. It is a favorite stemming (hah!) back to my 9th birthday in 4th grade. My grandmother who was a prolific gardner, (among her other Martha Stewart-esq traits), grew Amaryllis in abundance each year. She was a great gardener and friend to me! One particular year just before Christmas time I was enjoying some tea and Scrabble with her and I offered that I wanted an Amaryllis for my birthday that year. I have a birthday during a time NO ONE feels like celebrating anymore- low key and even "I" am sick of opening presents just after Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years Eve antics.. it is just tiresome to have a birthday then! Yet... you never what may happen during a time you dont' force anything upon.

When Grammy and I discussed the thought of this, her eyes literally lit up like the lights on her own Christmas Tree before us. She told me that she thought this could very well happen for me. And it did. There is a famous shot of me in the early 70's with my red, plaid bell bottoms, ribbed mustard-colored turtleneck and my newly hacked off hair...ugh...(I think Dorothy Hamill influenced that one).. proudly displaying the newly unveiled, (took the trash bag down), Amaryllis! Grown by love and hand by my Gram! I loved it... I especially loved that it was already tall and had a big red bloom! I remember gazing at it from all directions and wondering how she managed this task in so few weeks and magically could be delivered to me on January the 3rd in full bloom! I asked her. And she said I grew it for you and when it was ready to bloom, it was ready to bloom. It just happened to be the right time... on your birthday!

Sounds like the story of my life!

Funny. My Gram was a bit of a story teller. (hmmm. wonder if I inherited that trait?) She was a sucker for a good soap, ("Her story"), the Opera.. in which I learned to appreciate its' value and tales of times gone by... a history buff. She surely was an old soul. She loved a happy ending. She loved to make endings happy too. I never forget about the thought though through that Amaryllis that things happen in their own time. Happy endings are natural. True ones anyway!

Several years ago in Science I began to teach the story of the Amaryllis. Why this vibrant red flower blooms during a time when nothing else really is! I often found myself choking back tears relating this story to my own life and how it operates! It became a family comedy where each year now my sister-in-law Jesse gives me an Amaryllis, (or two), for my science lab each Christmas. (She now starts them for me- usually... as one year I got no blooms.. try that with a classroom full of anticipatory 4.5 year olds!) And a personality as mine is who reads into EVERYTHING!

We go through the process of planting one in the class in addition to using Jesse's pre-planted beautifully decorated Christmas gift. Of course we need to go through process but also require another plant to compare and contrast, act as a difference to help us achieve variables and statistical information. So we do. We talk about the parts, the bulb and roots. We plant and water. We speak of the 19 degree day we are planting it on, and speculate how on earth can anything grown under these conditions!? We chart, make graphs, observe and wonder.
We wait....

Soon a shoot! There is upward mobility. Could it be? DO I tell them I have failed this project a time or two before? How do I feel? Well, as any good teacher I act as though NOTHING too spectacular has occurred... although I am not sure I can curb my enthusiasm for anything that is showing positive growth! So. we observe some. Its hard to be 4 and 5 and watch life pass so slowly. It's still hard at nearly 45~ Once the kids are hooked and we go into observation time during science we are noticing larger and larger results! Well, why not? With that much positive law of attraction surrounding it I am surprised fields of Amaryllis' weren't popping out of every desk and table!

I asked them to take out their rulers now and measure weekly growth. Amazing! Amazing that we have engineered such a simple device to measure growth and positive movement for an object but not for spirit! We are all so excited, 16" .. anybody likes those numbers.. then 18.. then 21 or 22". WOWZA! Then it stops and we are left with the top bud. What does it hold? Brilliant red... like my grandmother's favorite handbag or her beautifully manicured nails? Maybe we got a pink one this year? or.. Mixed? How many blooms??? That was the question of all questions. And there is absolutely no way to know until the day arrives. We are now focused on the bloom. When? What? and How? How many???

This one particular year I was waiting and hoping for an outcome to something I wanted so badly to happen. (Not the Amaryllis.. but in my own life). The plant was my living metaphor! Every day I would watch and feel it growing. Other days it just drifted and wandered, or no growth at all. When that year, this particular Auntie Jesse plant grew its' bud, I waited and watched as intently as the children. I wondered how that would look when it finally ripped open and joined the ranks of the loveliest winter flower ever. It peeked. I began to see leaves spreading apart ever so slowly. I began to see color. JUST a tad though. I was anxious for the bloom in my life to happen!
So were the kids...

One day that year, in observation, one of my favorite friends who has trouble with waiting approached our Amaryllis and began to "help it" and pry it apart!!! " EEKS!", I screamed out... "stop right there little sir..." He stopped and looked sheepishly at me and said, "But Miss Dawn it is nearly ready to bloom I am just helping it!" And I sympathized. And empathized. I agreed with him... it was just about ready.. and yet IT WASN'T~

I immediately resorted to this phrase that I believe I was inspired via HS, (Holy Spirit), and said, "You can't force the bloom.!Do you understand that?" The child stood there, with his friends, and of course was saying to himself.. "Sure I can.. what the hell are you talking about lady move over???" And I gathered them around for a religion story about things happening in God's time. I asked.. "What would happen if I were to let you open that bud right now?' The answers were funny and profound for this teacher who is always on another plane when she delivers these lessons. A teacher, who is ALWAYS aware that God can break the barriers with her when she is teaching to young minds! I went on to say.. that there was great potential that the bloom would either never grow and die, or grow a bit, but never realize its full potential. It would never be the vibrant and large blooming flower it was intended to be if I were to not care for it responsibly and force it to do what I wanted! Again, WOWZA!

Don't force the bloom!

Comically it took over my life... and anyone I worked with after that knew the meaning of that phrase when I mentioned it.

I was reminded several times this week of the bloom story. Ironically it happened during an egg hatch in school and in witnessing the growth of a school I am affiliated with now. It also occurred in a moment of my own personal life with someone that was my muse for the 1st time around!

I hatched eggs this week with my Pre-K. I have done this 4x now and still find it intriguing each time. I worry that it really "isn't' going to happen." One year I lost a batch.. same as the Amaryllis.. it never budded. I worry that I' ll never be in situations and moments that I know I can be very effective in. I worry that the people surrounding me won't notice what I am doing, what I am able to accomplish. I worry that I won't witness that big red Amaryllis... the Holy Spirit in full bloom.

It's been a hard year for me. I witnessed a few births this past year. But also waited like the eggs and the Amaryllis. I was careful to not open things jus yet to be opened. And unfortunately when I did It resulted in no bloom or a very small version of it. I have learned that forcing blooms was a lesson outside of Christmas time and was lifelong.

My eggs this year.. even though I experienced some fatality, were the biggest litter" ever!!!!
I was still hatching unexpected ones today and those that I thought might go... lived longer than I gave them credit for! There were a few late bloomers. They sat in the egg for a long time! Way longer than the rest. They were still pecking away today. One teacher asked me if we should go get the forceps! HAH! I laughed out loud!! And said, "No, I'd love too. But because I hate to see something suffer and work so hard for survival. I retorted with, "The manual insists we do not "help" anyone along... it means there is a weakness somewhere and it probably won't survive". That maybe true... But I am a late bloomer and I see the beauty in unforced blooms! I am praying that my new friend lives through her toughest hatching.

All Saints Academy, this wonderful little hidden secret in Middletown has struggled with the numbers in the last few years. I am not sure why. I sat tonight and I listened and cried along with these 8th graders who gave such wonderful testimony to their own hatches in the last years there. I felt renewed and positive and I left feeling like I knew something Holy called me there. I feel very confident in my ability to bloom and hatch eggs... still a bit hesitant and doubtful in the beginning though. There are lots of pecks for me in order to remove that shell but I am most positive to know that that if I don't force my bloom it will all unfold in the the Spirit has intended.

My good friend Jon explained to me this week his desire for a chicken coop. He has many times before. He wants to raise chickens and yield good eggs for sale. Don't we all?? We were thinking about funny names for his business... Coop, and Co-op and Coop. His name being Coop, the business being cooperative and then the obvious, the "Coop". I liked it a lot. He was willing to go into a business with others... human and bird, build a home for all their needs and sell a productive that would be valued the highest around. I am still sticking to that unforced bloom for us all~

Happy Summer everyone, may your growing season bring you into perfect peace with your calling and your waiting time. The harvest is just beyond the shell.
Just wait...
And by all means "Don't force the bloom!"

Miss Dawn

What is hip?

2010-05-19T14:30:00.002-04:00

What is hip?Tell me, tell me, if you think you know.What is hip?If you're really hip, the question, "Will it show?"You're into a hip trip.Maybe hipper than hip.What is hip?You went an' found you a guru.In an effort to find you a new you,And maybe even raise your conscious level.While you're striving to find the right road,There's one thing you should know,"What's hip today, might become passe'.

"Hipness is. What it is!Hipness is. What it is!Hipness is. What it is!Sometimes hipness is, what it ain't.

Sure this old Tower of Power tune is fantastic.. and although they are credited with this hipness I still prefer the band 9Teen's version as the hippest!
But, then again, that would be the way I look at this ultimate paragon.. or do i mean perfection?

Or are hipness and perfection in paradigmatic relation with one another?

I guess it all lies in the eyes of the perfect beholder doesn't it? Yet, we as a society have come to learn a far more scary way to look at alternatives. (or none). Lately I feel bombarded by,
"perfectionist hipness." Seemingly, what dons the cover of every magazine in the market check-out is someone telling me how I can be hip! Hip in my fashion, in my diet, my home, my spiritual focus, my parenting, my travel, and even in my retirement. Except, if you are a smarter/sleazier grocery store rag you have appealed to those that "have not" and place your focus on how the movie stars and celebrities who set the model of "hipness" are screwing up... Pointing out their cellulite, their public fighting and essentially their "normal" living. The only folks making out on that trend is the publishers of such literature... and the world rotates again capitalizing on some person's grief in order to make themselves better! Still not hip!

Why does Pottery Barn dictate how hip my home should look? (again, we all do it). Do we not have minds of our own? Why do Brad and Angelina hold the bar on adoption when it's been in vogue for hundreds of years? Why do I need to know that 40+ people such as myself are now the new 20! ( All the while expecting that although we can deprive ourselves of fun food, wine and good living will guarantee that I'm going to look fab, "hip" in my skinny jeans?) Why do I believe that my near 50 year old boyfriend wants that? And why does television not focus on fiction anymore? Why are we forced to watch people mortgage themselves out to live out these daily falsehoods.. (sorry "hipness" ), on "real TV" every night??

I think back to my childhood. I was a child of the 60's and 70's. I grew up in a very normal middle class environment. Our home did not resemble Pier 1 Imports, although it may have looked more like Sears and Roebuck. "The hip" store of my time. Which Tower of Power may have come to call "passe" in their lyrics. Is Sears still around? Anyway. I do not remember this hype.. (or maybe we can abbreviate this word to hyp ? ) I remember needing one winter coat every year. I remember getting 2 pair of shoes in September. One for school, and for Sunday. I remember one meal prepared each night for the "entire" family. There were no alternatives. I remember needing to save for what I needed.. and I remember my parents needing to do that too! I remember much of this simplistic living.. yet when I look at the word "Simple" in the titles of every magazine, yogurt container, grocery slogan, it looks a whole lot different than the "simple" ways I remember from my childhood.

The 60's to some may have been hip to those who grew up in the depression of the 30's. I am certain it is all relative somewhere I guess. ( as my Dad always says). However, it feels much different to me. We are a society much altered even from the 60's model... and yet only 40 years later. We are into alterations and improvements of everything we know: our bodies, minds, our homes, our relationships.. notice that even Christmas Trees look perfect nowadays?? We were real at one time, we have now become, "Pleasantville". Even worse then the 1950's post-war mentality of Mrs. Cleaver, nobody having sex, smoking is fine, cocktails in excess and couples staying married forever. NO...We are worse.

At least the 60's broke us out of that model with mind-altering substances you bought on the street... now, our modern day drug dealers are our physicians! We don't smoke pot or take LSD anymore to "open" the mind... We take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to help us "not see" anymore!

We are teaching our children that labels of all kinds are acceptable. We are teaching them that only certain labels in our jeans/genes make us "hip." Certain handbags/baggage make us even more "hip." And far worse labels of people are just as "hip/hyp." Where does it end? I oft wonder if I have the boob job I want, (opposite direction folks), will it make me more hip or not? I think the one that went bigger is now passe?! What happens when boobs are in or out again in 10 years?? How do we change, evolutionarily speaking, if we keep "removing and placing" parts that do or don't belong? At least I know the reason we are losing our back molars.. we just don't need to gnaw raw meat off of bones anymore!

I worry about our future society. I worry about the society we live in. It is a no wonder that half of the planet is medicated! They would have to be to roll with what the celebrities and publicists tell us what is "hip!" How to live in the hippest flat, have the hippest credit cards, and raise our kids in the hippest ways. "Housewives of somewhere..." I often think our kids are going to grow up loving to clone, or resorting to pot! Why does an un natural blonde hold so much power in today's world? It is a flash of "something" that grabs our attention. Isn't it? Or is it the fact we want the appeal she has? I don't know many days I think about doing it just so I can find out! Why not.. everyone else is!

I tell you this perfectionist behavior is a result of needing to control everything around us. We get the immediate things we need or want... or take.. then we forget about those who have helped us or needed us. We don't have time anymore for people or their problems because we are too busy not allowing our kids to self-soothe and entertain themselves with God's greatest toy.. imagination. We are raising people who will not learn how to invent, dream or find fun in their own way.. forget about the "Jones'"... the "Hollywoods" will be holding the bar for us to jump too. Designer birthday parties, coffee, clothing and bling are seemingly all that matters to us.

I think homogenous living might not be so hip anymore...

When we don't measure up.. we pop something! We dye our hair, buy a $500 bag, rat on our friends, covet others, or think we deserve extra "playmates! All because we are told and tell ourselves, "we deserve it." THAT seems to be hip!

I often laugh that women are still the big victims of all of this hipness! Our men complain that it takes so long to do our hair and yet the first thing they do is flip around when the girl who spends $300 at the salon comes along and bitch when we don't put the special energy in it for them. Okay, now I am really confused....

Recently, we were told by Oprah that it is okay to be fat now... we were told by her that it is a sign of something deeper.. duh? Or perhaps it is just easier for her now to say that rather, "I can only eat a certain amount of natural things in smaller portions at my age." It's a hell of a lot
easier to utter, "To hell with what messed me up to get me here, I'll just buy bigger things and do what I want." I am not sure how I feel about that anymore! The term "everything in moderation"seems to enter my mind. But we are not a society of knowing how to live moderately anymore. We are the opposite.

It's a roller coaster of emotional energy I am tired of. If you're a size 2 then you are hip this week in America. A size 2 in Haiti however has a different spin! Men are still heavy... at any age.. albeit, I will say it is hipper, for once, for younger men to be thin and buff in today's world. But as men age, they are falling victim, (worse I think), to the hip factor of what their gal-pal should look like. Standards are different. They cheat because we are told.. "Well, you didn't keep yourself up!" And simultaneously they do not want the drama of what it takes to look like our hip diva trend-setters on the West Coast !

Or has it just become "okay" to do whatever we want in life?

As an educator of young people I watch this stuff go on now. I watch the "L" go on a forehead to another 5 year old.. and I hear words like, "whatever" used. They think it is hip to be uncaring. They have learned somewhere that it is okay to criticize another for their clothing choices and lunch foods. They now know all about kids with "special needs" and use it to their advantage to be "hip" or get out of something. They wear belly shirts, earrings and have dyed hair. They know when someone is "fat" equally as well as they know when somebody else is "phat!"

We are forgetting to be a society of people who are real. I am victim of this myself at times. And it scares me when do we begin to know who we really are and what we really believe in?For years we are controlled . Our parents, the church controls us, tell us what is hip... when we are good and bad, right and wrong. Hollywood tells us. The Internet tells us, and television expounds upon this. Where do we go from here? Who is hip? and What is hyp?

"You went an' found you a guru.In an effort to find you a new you,And maybe even raise your conscious level.While you're striving to find the right road,There's one thing you should know,"What's hip today, might become passe'."

And in the words of FLoyd... "Look around.. choose your own ground..."

Dad...Are we there yet?

2010-04-27T18:27:00.006-04:00

Instead of calling this year's road trip experience, "Roadtrippin' Vol II", I thought I give it a title that better suits this year's version...."Dad, Are we there yet?"

HAH!!! I know you know what's next...For me, images of 1960's Volkswagen Bus', trips down and up Route 95 searching for the perfect Civil War Battleground to explore. Maybe another whirl through Gettysburg? Williamsburg? Richmond? or for fun... let's go to Antietam for a real taste of battle gore! No sign of "The Mouse" for this girl... or Hershey Park, or even Busch Gardens, (truly don't think it was around in the 60's and 70's anyway!)

Roadtrippin' today...though... even still with a destination of sunny Florida STILL shapes up no differently than it did 40 years ago! That is when one travels in modern day roadtrippin' style!

My trip as a 40-something on the Great super highway of 95 contained many of the same variables as days gone by! All the factors present on the checklist of traveling 1000 miles with children, in the ride that is!!!! Let me recount to you my childhood, jettisoned to now, on a road trip from the very north to the very south... the only real difference... 1 child extra, a ride-a-long school teacher, video and computer technology, "Carla.. the GPS, not-so-know-it-all", medication to prevent car motion sickness (for me!) and 3 very patient adult pilots! Ok.. it WASN'T the same really!!! ALthough, I found myself in the Steve Carrel position of the van at times from Little Miss Sunshine!

Our trip begins the Friday eve of April School vacation. For me traditionally, it was always Washington, DC. Our annual pilgrimage was to go and witness the bed where Lincoln died in mid-April, see the Cherry blossoms and perhaps a day trip to Appomattox courthouse.. maybe Mt. Vernon just for the fun of it! This April vacation I am happy to say that my dearest friends the Perry's and their 4 kids were heading to vacation mecca for their annual pilgrimage during April vacation week.. "Disney World" !!!! (Nana & Pop too!) Seeing I commute to Florida now on a regular basis they were gracious enough to ask me to road trip along and roll me out onto a grassy knoll somewhere in Jacksonville on their way to the promised land! As any budget- abiding gal would do she took the offer... and to no surprise, found myself in the middle of a roadtrippin' adventure I hadn't experienced in some time!!!!

Here, we are all packed. I land at Casa Perry exactly on schedule for a Friday night departure. I arrive to 6 neatly packed and stowed color-coded suitcases. (Not even my organized mother was this good!!) I lay my roll-away and carry-on neatly on top, grab my pillow and x-large Diet Pepsi and in minutes we are all buckled, received safety and exiting instructing, and are now the viewers of tonight's featured film!!! (That is something the Volkswagen did not have- (had that been invented, my father would have taken us to California watching "How the West was Won!") The cabin is a buzz with Super Mario jumps, crashing Pac Man, (honestly I'm too old to know better so I am embellishing), and every other game known to the "DS" system... (again one more piece of technology that is new to the journey....) I did get to bring Lite Bright sometimes on my trips!!)

Three adults worked that day. Two worked with children, and the other with "older children.." , we were all "ready" for the road. As we approached the RI-CT border I began to hear familiar noises around the cabin. " Dad, are we there yet?" from a young 4-year old.... I totally smiled and thought "Kid, if you only knew!" Again, after a long hard day at preschool you would be asking that most important, quintessential question at 4 just under an hour into the trip too! Hell, I work in that same place and wondered it a bit myself.. lol!

The phrase however, did set the tone!

The sky began to darken and cries of hunger then emerged... "Hey , when are we stopping at McDonald's?" Ah... this was the road trip I remembered.. except, I was a passenger in my 40's buckled into a luxury van watching Peter Pan! Once when my Uncle David, on one of his adventures with us in the Bus, was sitting in his " lazy boy" that he and my dad threw into the back of the bus, one of those fate-filled Washington adventures he surely must have known the pleasure of this adventure too... right before HE had kids!!

And then the fights began!!!!!

Capt Hook cannot hold a candle to Capt Ronald McDonald... nor do the Mario Bros trump bathroom pit stops! (By the adults BTW!) Super-sized caffineated sodas and long road trips do not equal easy on and off pee breaks at rest stops! Hell the kids got to use what we did in the old-fashioned days of carriaging down 95.... today if adults did it it would be known as abuse!!! SO- the adults stopped and ran in when they could and resumed the rules of the road! The kids at times got to stay and "use" the comforts of the head on board-

I suppose the McDee's stop would've been just like the old days.. although back then the Happy Meal was only "happy" to my parents who paid under a $1 for a cheeseburger and fries- no toys, nothing to fight over for us- yet still made us happy! Today.. I had no idea that McDonald's took Jaime Oliver's course!!! There was more to choose from then I could possibly imagine. I got something heart-healthy without the put-together dragon... or my evening scotch...and put 4 other dragons together however ... suffice I didn't need that to feel the happiness I was feeling reliving my childhood again!

As the fighting and laughter faded in the back I turned and saw 4 angelic creatures nodded off in PJ's surrounded by animal character airplane neck support pillows, blankies and stuffed dogs...I was wondering why I had forgotten this part of my childhood road trip experience? Ah.. how comfortable.. the knowledge that you could fall asleep and know that 3 pilots would be sailing on through and wake up in sunny F-L-A is enough to put any mind to a sound sleep... until you wake up and find yourself still in Baltimore! Okay.. the adults had needed more Big Gulps and fewer naps...

My 4am shift was greeted with no lav or coffee at 5am as McDonald's promises.. and took us into a cloudy dawn through Washington. (Funny that this was my stop). The remainder of the day was the same, switch hitting the wheel through the god-fearing boredom of the Carolina's...stops to the BK Lounge and more noise from the back over technology I knew nothing of since the early 80's, parents trying to catnap, gossip over events of late, and answering that end-all question.. "Dad, are we there yet???"

I knew at one fuel station we were close, I felt the sweat beading on my brow, the film across my teeth and the memories of college 'all-nighters" swimming in my head.... not to mention the increasing feel of humidity... aaah Georgia was on my mind! The kids were finally saying, "Dad, we must be close I see palm trees!" And suddenly the spirit lifted. Chatter of what might be happening at Cinderella's castle in the air and my good friends praying that Grandma would swoop in and lovingly take their grandchildren to bed, bath and beyond.. (and I'm not speaking of the chain store!) And yes, I knew my trip was closing in on me too! 56 miles to Jacksonville! Those are signs we LOVE to see on the highway of life!

My trip felt like my childhood relived again.. except I guess, that no one vomited, I didn't get to stop in Richmond and see Lee and Grant's whatever....(although Chris really wanted too!) I did get to see Disney flicks on film instead of waiting for them 1x a year on TV, right there in the van, I didn't pee in a pan.. (not saying anyone else did for the protection of the innocent), there was little adult arguing and child discipline, I wore a seat belt the whole time, I traded "I spy" for a Nintendo DS, oh.. and I got to make it to sunny FLA for R&R... so although, the American Family Road Trip has not changed... it was still better than having to walk 5 miles in the snow to school every morning!

I sadly waived good bye to my traveling buddies and jumped into the arms of Jax and was secretly jealous of their next destination, and said "Let's do it all again next week!"

Thanks Perrys!
Love, Miss Dawn

Come Together

2010-04-11T18:40:00.002-04:00

"Here come old flattop. He come grooving up slowly. He got joo-joo eyeball. He one holy roller. He got hair down to his knee Got to be a joker he just do what he please... Come Together right now over me!

I know, Miss Dawn's got her Beatles going on again.. and yes, she usually does, although in reflecting upon today's Gospel this song just keeps "coming over me!"

I have to laugh thinking that although this song is portraying the Beatles individually during a time of angst for them it also makes me think of Jesus coming into the room to visit the Disciples during their angst that first day of the week after the Resurrection. (still Easter).

Honestly, get the visual as you sing along.. HAH.. I can't help thinking that if John Lennon were present that fate filled evening this is somewhat how he would describe Jesus' surprise visit! The Disciples, all but Thomas, waiting in a room... Kind of like Paul not being with the group much in those days. Forewarned to meet there by Mary Magdalene, (the Yoko Ono sideboard), they awaited the man to cross over that proverbial crosswalk from Heaven to Earth in his white dazzling suit and say "Hi guys... I told you this would happen." And so he did. "My peace I leave you, my peace I give you." Such powerful words to live by.

" I know you and you know me, One thing I can tell you is you got to be free." Come together, right now, Over me!

This broken and repaired Jesus was back to the very people who spent His final days in hiding. Afraid of what may happen to them. Not being near Jesus in his final hours. Here Jesus was back with them risen, and telling them in his groovy way that although they are frightened by this mess that he leaves with them with His peace.... So Come together, right now over me!

Jesus breathes new life into them and gives them a dosage of Holy Spirit to over come the fears, carry on and keep Jesus' peace inside them to face the harder days ahead. He was there to let them know he had not given up on them. He was there to build real discipleship now!
The disciples know that they are staring into the sweetest joo-joo eyeballs they have ever seen. They are believers! He got feet down below his knees- implying that he isn't kneeling anymore. He is Risen, stand up straight and believe.

Thomas, our doubting friend of the bunch is absent for this meeting. I love teaching this Gospel to children as I immediately follow up with a delicious snack of course... "Thomas' English Muffins!" You know the ones with lots of holes!! No one knows where Thomas is the day Jesus' comes back. Fishing? Downtime? Anxiety? Who knows. But he is informed when he does come around finally that in fact Jesus kept His promise. He was back and bigger than ever! A doubter by trade, Thomas replies, "I am sorry, I don't think so."

"Unless I see him with my eyes and place my finger into his wounds, "hold you in His armchair so you can feel His disease... will I believe!" Funny way to think of this isn't it? All 10 who were witness to Jesus assured Thomas that this was real. (Remember Judas is gone). How could Thomas, and more importantly why would Thomas not believe these folks who had become such a tight knit group? He surely heard the premonition, the prophesy, "He got early warning, he got muddy water, He one Mojo Filter.. and He said, "One and One and One is three," professed over and over by Jesus in the days leading toward this. Why would one doubt? Thomas must have "been so good lookin' it was so hard to see." Come together, right now, over me~

The next week in the same room Jesus shows himself again. This time Thomas is present. He still is reluctant until Jesus approaches him.. right in-his-face-style work... (sometimes as Jesus does for us all), and proclaims to Thomas that, in fact, this is, really real! It all did happen regardless of what seemed impossible and doubtful. After Thomas held Him in his armchair he surely knew that a living Christ was before him. He dropped, not having feet below his knees, and professed publicly the error in his ways. The spirit moved upon Thomas. The roller coaster was over.

"Blessed are those who do not see, but believe." says Jesus. Come together right now over me! Go, tell the world I would like them to begin doing that very thing each week.

And so we do.
The Walrus

Good Friday...Indeed it is Good!

2010-04-07T10:52:00.004-04:00

Good Friday... all I can hear over and over, "Miss Dawn, Why is it so good??" Good Question!!!

Well, another Good Friday is behind us. Once again, (and reluctantly), I offered my annual Good Friday Camp to wee people. A day to truly walk with Christ during his final hours. This past year, I have been somewhat out of the direct spotlight of Christ...or so I thought. Not teaching Sunday School or Chapel for about 9 months brought me to a new way of being with God. There were moments this past year where I questioned my own walk with Christ. I began wondering if my service had expired. However it did not take long before God picked me up and began to utilize my God-given talent in teaching folks about His life story... God teaching me that at some point We all Walk the Way of the Cross!!!!

(If we are to be any part of the Body of Christ that is!)

Once years and years ago I helped run Vacation Bible Schools for Trinity Church in Newport. An assistant priest at the time and myself would discuss each Spring my willingness to help the church put together children's programming for their VBS. It was a volunteer position for a week. I often felt as time came upon us..."Perhaps this summer I shall take it off completely... just rest." And each year I found myself in Fr. Dave's office discussing the theme of this year's camp once again. One year I related my tiredness to him. I told him I was thinking that God might have had enough of my work and to maybe give someone else a try! He asked me why then, was I sitting before him? My reply was that although I have never earned enough financially to give in the way I'd like too, I felt my stewardship was the least I could. (Mind you, Trinity was not my parish, nor my confirmed faith.) I told him that I get a special joy and confirmation of God's messages after teaching/preaching when I relate God's stories to children. I told him somewhere along the way I learned how to express God's message to children. Dave laughed at me... he said, "Dawn, you can run, but you can't hide from God!" Of course, I agreed and said that none of us can. He went on to tell me that he himself questioned his going into the priesthood. He told me that he really thought it the last occupation he would choose... although God had other plans. He said, "Don't worry... God finds you and better yet.. He WAITS for you!" Hmmm... indeed he was correct. I thought I had given my last Good Friday Camp- I was wrong!

This year's Good Friday Camp ran as a well-oiled machine. It should, I have been doing it for about 5 or 6 years. The efforts of preparation for it remind me of the 6 weeks of Lent as we prepare for our walk with Jesus. There is lots to do... lists to create, supplies to gather, quiet reflection, selection of help for the event. It doesn't seem to get old either! (Although, I am!) The kids are just as enthused ... the story hasn't changed in 2000 years... and technology has not moved it into a new place of media hype.

This year however brought some differences for me. The building changed .. the teachers changed .... some of the kids changed ...but the message remained the same. And really, I didn't change! God, found me in all my shortcomings and plopped me right back to a place where I can change the world again! Incredible. Talk about redemption!

For me, Good Friday this year wasn't just about a day's agenda to plow through with 40 friends. It held much deeper significance. It was truly a walk through Jesus' last week of strife and conflict. It was a reminder to me that even Jesus was revered as a hero on Palm Sunday and crucified 5 days later! It hurt to know that His people would spare a murderer over him. His best friend would deny him. Another close friend turns him in for a few coins, and the rest fall asleep on him! It was sad really to watch Peter try to act in violence in Jesus' name when really just minutes later he wouldn't begin to not know anything about Jesus or His ministry. It especially hurt to watch his friends, one by one, save their own asses, and hide just when he needed them most! It further hurt to consider how folks ridiculed him, teased him, accused him of lying and mayhem, and better yet were so incredibly jealous of him that they would go to any measure to make sure no one knew of him anymore... allow His light to shine! I actually choked back tears after relating this to my young friends. I knew EXACTLY how all of these things felt! Truly. And yet, I was not facing death on a cross. I already had.

These feelings began early that morning. I had a flash of all the horror before I even got to the camp. I found myself uttering, "Father, please forgive them for they know not what they have done," in the Stop-n-Shop with my 3.5 year old nephew going into his first Good Friday Camp! "What you saying Aunt Dew?" I just mumbled, "Nothing..." and that he should help me pick up the proverbial Cross, (the themed snack made from Ritz crackers and Cheeze-Whiz), with me and continue on to Golgotha!

Good Friday Camp, to me, (I have joked for years), is my "penance". I speak for 5 hours straight... haha.. I know... and TRUST me it does exhaust me! As we began the tedious task of painting all 14 stations.. I began to wonder about my own 2mile walk to the hill. I wondered about how I have dropped my cross 3x! (or more!) I remembered a kind woman, (many), handing me a towel along the way to wipe my face. I was hoping I left a lasting memory with her too at some point in my tenure. I felt for Simon , a strange man in a strange land being forced into a situation that he knew nothing about.. fearing that helping this rebel would lead him into a early grave. Instead good things came to Simon, besides his conversion! I thought of those continuing to revile Christ along the way... taunting him with remarks..."You deserve everything you got!"... "This is your karma!"... "Go back to Florida ... I mean Nazareth, where you belong!" and I wondered how it felt for Him when He knew he wasn't a Blasphemer.

As I was on the walk to Golgotha thoughts about the events were racing through my head. I think about how Pontius Pilot was put in a precarious situation and how cleverly he tried to get the people to choose Jesus over Barabbas. Pilot was a smart and clever military man.. he knew that Jesus was not a real threat.. (which meant he was secure in his power). Surely, he could blind the Jewish people by convincing them that a Barabbas out walking the streets was a far cry from a Jesus professing peace and equality.. favoring the unique and meek of this world... and yet, his plan backfired. He too was looking for Jesus to confess to a sin he did not commit to make it easy upon himself, and thus the decision was placed in the hands of the scared and fear filled! Death is an inevitable outcome in a tug of war.

They stripped Jesus of his belongings. They played a game to keep his things. Heirlooms made from his Mother just scattered about the few who could've cared less for the "seamless" labor and love of how they were made. The feeling as though they somehow "deserved" these items. Jesus however, never blinked an eye in the end. He continued to help the grief stricken. Those that could not be healed. He assured the many heartbroken, that in fact, He would come again. He told the children he loved them. They meant the most to Him. The 2 criminals on either side of Him were even interested in His story. One in fact told Him he believed, and asked Jesus if there was a place for him in Heaven.... Jesus invited him along for the ride.

As we remember, His best friend Mary, John, the Disciple he loved the most, and his Mother stood beside Him in his final hours. Thankfully God did not allow the struggle to last forever. It was a quick death! Jesus' body was laid to rest by a kind and giving man named Joseph. He had followed Jesus, and felt that Jesus deserved a place to rest. A new cave... this time not one inhabited by animals in which he first came into this world. It was a prelude to new life.

The rest we know to be History! The rise 3days later that Mary Magdalene was witness to let us all know that out of darkness comes light! No one can keep us in a cave, no matter how large the stone. God has work for us to do and we must keep our attention on that work and let God continue to resurrect us into the light of a new day. The Disciples were called to believe that Jesus had come back- they were invited to touch and see a Risen Jesus!

Hallelujah, Hallelujah He is Risen!

Happy Easter,
Miss Dawn

Off with their Heads!

2010-03-13T19:16:00.003-05:00

I just came back from Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland". It was as I expected... dark and strangely real. Really, how can it be anything else coming from him?? I've never seen more head offing's by the largest head you've ever seen, 3D Reality, and even more grim, the search for the truth! Tackling your biggest fears and looking them straight on, or through the proverbial "looking glass", up close and magnified can scare anyone into not telling the Queen of Hearts that you ate her Tarts! I contemplated this spiritual journey so much today that I stopped at Barnes and Noble on my way home to pick up a copy of Alice's Wonderland... a blog is to come!

But for now.. the main event... and that is answering to sentences before the verdicts...as the Hatter is faced with... and unfortunately many of us in this lifetime.

The Mark Gospel tells the story about the fate of John the Baptist. His head was off'd!
In preparing a Sunday sermon, even for myself, I am forever perplexed as to how to handle delivering such a vulgar text to children... (I should just consult with Disney.. as they do it ALL the time!) Quite often I jump to a reading from the morning instead! Most Gospel readings are easily communicated to the young. At times, some lack the substance of a good tellable story. No meat in which to sink my story-telling brain into! Others can be too abstract and short... and yet I seem to make it through.. (quite often, and not intentionally, delivering the message through the child, who in turn tell the family who couldn't make heads or tales out of the sermon in "big church." ) And lastly, there is the Gospel story which really isn't tellable to children. (There are a few...) But for now, I am lucky to live in the moment of communicating my thoughts to the grown-up worshipper!

Refresher: John the Baptist= Cousin to Jesus through Mary, son of Elizabeth and Zacchariah (aging parents thought to be unable to conceive), reportedly born 6 months prior to Jesus' arrival. Elizabeth's womb lept when a pregnant Mary visited her, grows to be a great prophet, lives an ascetic life.. in the wilderness preaching about the coming of one greater than he, claims he baptises with water, while one greater than he will baptise with the fire! He is "wild and woolly".. dressed in his animal fur and eating locusts and honey .. greeting people in the river Jordan prophesying and cleaning them.. preaching loudly about what is to come.

Ok.. you remember now? The untellable part.. the beheading. A very gorey and gruesome telling by Mark, who transcribes from Simon-Peter, the manner in which John faces his death. John is critical of King Herod and his wife Herodia. They have an incestuous marriage that is also considered adulterous. (Now.. its getting good.. how on earth could this juicy story be communicated to children???) HE is quoting scripture and Jewish law that firmly spells out that what these two are doing is clearly wrong. He is not quiet about this! As well he shouldn't if one is considered a prophet. It is unclear however if Herodia's divorce from her husband.. (Herod's brother), to marry Herod is considered sinful in the eyes of theologians.. as a.) she did divorce him/lived separately from him and b.) could remarry if it so pleased her if that was the truthful case. The reality I'm afraid though, is that Herodia was also Herod's niece.. yuck. and found to be in a pleasing marriage previously to Phillip. Nothing wrong with him according to the story.. she just wanted another man. NO sign of his infidelity, unfaithful behavior. Supported her, cared for her, etc.. good husband.. she just wanted another man! Oh and yes.. which happened to be her husband's brother... another Jewish/Biblical No-No. (and Phillip was still alive!)John does not make this easy for them. He is prophet.. prophets are not quiet even to those in authority. Those of means and/or living the exact way they want never want to be questioned. They have large agendas to fulfill.. no one will stand in their way! We know what happens to those who prophesies and speak up.. one of 2 things.. they are the receivers of wheels full of grease or.. off with their head. We know John's fate. But there comes a time when the moment of truth is given to the executioner. Unlike Alice's tale, most of us do not know when that day will arrive.

"A prophet is a truth-teller and often governing authorities don't like a truth-teller telling the truth about them." "A prophet is one who speaks to those in power. A prophet usually gets into trouble for criticizing the governing authorities. Those authorities often imprison or kill that prophet in order to silence him. The prophet becomes a martyr.. one who dies for the faith." Interesting set of defining terms. A prophet is the proverbial, "whistle-blower".. one might say. All truthful to me... however..it is clearly up to the listener to decide who in fact is being employed to prophesies God's truth or their own! or Am I late? or is just a figure of my imagination??

The one called to say, "prepare the way of the Lord", however had no other agenda. He did his thing. He baptised folks in a river. He preached and shouted to all that would listen about the love that was near and here to save us all." He defended scripture, sure. But so did many Jewish officials and high priests. They just weren't "loud." Prophets are always loud.. they quite often get in trouble for "opening their big mouth"... exposing the injustice, telling the media the "real-deal." The punishment in society for calling a spade a spade is quite often a large one.. (unless you can afford high end counsel or decide that the exposition of the fake or defending of the truth is more important than your own welfare.)

Prophets don't lead a life they cover up. They wear what they want. Drive what they want. Live wherever they need too.. they lay it all out there... (As our friend Alice does. She quite often tells those around her who and what she is once she figures out that is what she is here to do.) They know what they are called to do. The deal they make to this is between them and their creator.. not for someone else's judgement. Whether or not they decided to give up a materialistic life is not a mystery. They certainly don't act duplicitous by "preaching one thing and living something different." If you were a prophet ... (and I believe we are all prophets on some level), and you choose to drive a a ride for "the people" then you should also own the fact that you do so to live in a home worth 2 millions dollars on the water. However, don't preach about poverty and service, and hide your assets aways! John didn't. He wore his craziness out in the public eye... as does the Mad Hatter... who isn't so mad ! He lived the way he thought God wanted him too.. he lived the way he could better hear the word of God...most importantly.

Herod liked John. That's the irony of the story. He enjoyed his preaching, his work with others. Thought him a holy man. Herodia on the other hand, did not! She had a mission in her mind and that was to remove that which caused her to examine her life and actions. (Our Queen). She couldn't by law do anything with John. (Unlike the Queen). She wasn't in the authority to do so. It wasn't until Herod "opened his big mouth" at a birthday, given by him, in his own honor, that prompted him to make a deal he couldn't get out of. Herodia's daughter gave a dance performance for her step-father.. one is led to believe it may have been promiscuous although scripture does not support this. How ever it was performed was so appealing to Herod that he in fact promises her anything at all that she may want.. boasting.. even half of what he owns! (Remember this promise is bellowed throughout a large party with many ears and eyes watching). Historically, Salome, (a name that is widely known but without evidence to be truth), asks her mother what it is she should ask for. Well.. Herodia can't resist but to ask for John the Baptist's head.. on a platter no less! Surely Herod cannot turn down a "deal" made in public. She manipulated her husband to do exactly her bidding in order to take care of a "loud mouth." How Herod must have felt. To be the one credited with killing the Baptiser! It may have been one thing had he really despised him. But, he didn't. A man of Herod's power and status could've eliminated him any time previous to this occasion had he felt threatened by his power. Herod was guilt ridden. He had no choice but to execute John. John's head was served up on the silver tray to Herodia as ordered by her to her daughter.

I write this story to you as someone who had a head-offer in their life.... was very influential in the direction or future of my life and fate. Someone who caused significant damage to me like Herodia does to John. Cut my head off so to speak. Ironically, this person, claimed publicly that they in fact they were here to do this work.. referring to themselves very loudly and openly, as "John the Baptist". "The wild and woolly beast sent in to shake things up.. be the loud mouth and prepare the way!" When in fact they were the Queen of Hearts. They were claiming to be a prophet. They were claiming the right to behave in a way because they were authorized by "God" to do so.

The story of Alice is one of opposites. One of questioning if the glass is half full or empty. Whether time is measured by the day or by the hour- it is story to help us believe that we are capable of doing 6 impossible things before breakfast everyday. Are we too big for the rabbit hole? Or, is he mad? or Am I?It is interesting- because they're are no clear answers and no, one Queen, who gets to pass judgement on others fates, eliminating those before they get too close to the truth! "Off with their heads"... "No soup for you" (Seinfeldian), mentality that really can affect us.

John's death did not put an end to his legacy. NO- in fact it helped him to become even bigger than who he was. He still does not hide his fate or his mission. Jesus still was the way after John's death. Jesus is still the way after his own head-offer did away with him! Alice found out that she needed to face her stuff head on. She was rocked with confusion about life and death throughout this story but when the blue caterpillar informs her that death is impossible and that transformation is always the next step she discovers that you no longer have anything to fear. She looks into the face of the deck/death and screams, "You are only a pack of cards!" She knows that one person's view isn't enough! It's YOUR reality that is real!

John knew who he was. So did Jesus. And in the end so did Alice!

The sequel to follow...
Mad as a Hatter in Newport

"Bless her heart!"

2010-03-06T20:02:00.003-05:00

I'm writin' y'all tonite about living in the South! Many of my friends have spent some time living just South of Newport, (if that is REALLY true!) Or, so they tell me! I have had the best time in my home away from home that I can sit here on this warm Saturday eve in late winter/early Spring dreaming about good ol' southern hospitality!

I love the South. I always thought one day I would live there. Once, years ago, I imagined honeymooning in New Orleans. (mind you, never been hitched). Scarlett O'Hara tells Rhett Butler when he asks her, "Scarlett would you ever marry for fun?" Her response.. "Fun for whom?" However, I began to think I could and should be residing there. It always appealed to me. The 80's brought on Steel Magnolias and JFK. Although, Burn Notice... sealed the deal for me! I wondered about attending worship services in the South, pretty dresses, and just enough gossip to intrigue even the most humble Christian! I wasn't wrong... except I thought I would love grits!

When I think of Southern living many interesting details immediately come to mind. Obviously the weather is glorious most of the year. It is like living in Spring, (my favorite season), ALL year... (although, the Tulips still only come out when they're supposed too.) With the exception of that blast of wilting humidity that arrives around late May/June, I have grown very fond of my southern hood. I quickly figured out that "their Summer is our Winter." My childhood friend Wayne lives in the Orlando area. When I asked him about the move to the South, he said, "Dawn, we just stay inside all Summer. October is perfect until May. No shoveling or outrageous heating bills.... c'mon down!" I thought... hmm... that's seems appealing enough. Go home for Christmas snow and be done! I spent much of last Summer there.. and honestly, he was right. Weather at this point in life does make a difference. I love the fact that my god Ra, begins sunning me around this very time, and ends before Thanksgiving. It's a wonderful thing, that Vitamin D !

Besides the temperature.. most importantly is the temperament! Good ol' southern hospitality! It took me a spell to g'it this one...Boy-Howdy... Sometimes I say.. yes.. indeed this is surely the place and other times...."um... speed it up, I could be dying tomorrow!" It is truth when folks tell ya that life is slower and nicer past the Mason-Dixon line. Being kind takes time!!!!

For example, I found a good hair salon finally , (let me define salon... one that is not in someones garage and sells products that have not been distilled in someones backyard!) Anyhow. I have pretty low-maintenance hair.(I am not a full on platinum blonde!) I go in for treatment about 3x a year. My usual appt here is not nearly 4 hours... okay.. let's be fair, perhaps, it was a slow rainy day or that the girl sensed my anxiety as I would much rather have a molar filled than be there.. but none the less.. in the North a filling and my hair usually take about the same amount of time... in the South, it is a personal day from work! I told myself that was okay as perhaps that is the "true mission" of a salon, a day of pampering!

The Publix.. a rather hip chain of grocery markets. (I much prefer to the Winn Dixie or the Piggly-whatever!) There motto, "Where shopping is a pleasure!" I have decided, is really a fact. The 2nd least favorite thing I hate besides the hair salon, is grocery shopping! Just can't stand the crowds and searching for what I need. Mostly though, it's the lugging of my purchases. Upon a rather large shopping excursion... without male company... I happened in the check-out line and I began to bag my own groceries. (comes naturally). Some poor clerk comes running over and quietly sates, "Ma'am what ever on earth are you doin'?" I am dumbfounded and explain that I am baggin' my supplies and I assure them that I intend to pay for them.. (haha) She looks up at me and says, "You're from the North aren't you?" Perhaps, my accent? Perhaps my buttoned up attire? Or simply my work ethic??(Over zealous and over worked way of living).
I sheepishly nodded and smiled... She said, "That's my job." I agreed to let go of this task, be a Belle, or a customer, and move ahead with my adventure. I was telling myself though, "Relax, and enjoy this, this is what woman do here in the South." No sooner had my bags been in the carriage, I place my hands upon the handle of the cart, and the clerk again states, "M'aam.. where can I take you?" "TAKE ME????" I respond and say " Um... no where my shopping is complete, thank you." She said, "Well then fine ma'am, allow me to walk you to your vehicle." She rips the cart from my hands and proceeds out into a 60 degree evening... I am thinking to myself... "Oh shit, do I have cash on me???? We get to the car and I slip her a few bucks and she looks at me as though I have now committed mortal sin..."No thank you ma'am we are not allowed to accept tips. Is this your vehicle? Please pop the hatch for me." I am stopped dead in my tracks staring at her. "Keys ma'am?" I reach for the keys fumbling around in my handbag.. get the car open and I watch her LOAD the groceries into the car!!!!!! I am grateful, but thinking a million thoughts right now.. "Why can't it be snowing? Why can't it be 10 degree wind chill? Whatever happened to Almacs on Bellevue Avenue???"
I sat in the car. I stopped and I watched her retrieve other carriages in the lot scattered here and there and I said.. " THAT's WHY they don't have a carriage depot!!!!!" Okay.. I am officially loving the South! I only wish they had her drive home with you so you could walk those bags up 2 flights of stairs! Oh well...small southern baby steps!

The Suite of lovely Spanish-style, stucco apartments I stay in has a paperboy... if you will. It reminds me of the old show Melrose Place. This place is located on a main strip similar to Thames Street. Paper-people are almost non-existent in cities, and they certainly don't ride bicycles and hum a paper at your door to deliver the morning news... no it is far better than that. There is a paper boy who comes to call at 6am faithfully and the reason I know this is because his beat up pick up truck comes barreling into the complex exactly at dawn and is playing music I would normally find exciting exactly 12 hours later! After the first few mornings of thinking a neighbor had a really loud TV or little kids, I realized that this is how he woke his clients to the delivery of the days' news! Then it became exciting! What would today be???? Def Leopard?,Skynryd?, Styx?, ACDC?, ZZ Top?.. a southern rockers dream reveille! Then Sunday came. The southern hospitality was even present in our paperboy... I lay there, it's quiet as you would imagine on Sunday, 6am.. and I detect a familiar melody...." We've only just begun.. white lace and promises.. " I lay head faced down in my pillow smiling! And softly sing, "A kiss for luck and we're on our way!" I giggled so hard that I was even now loving our paperboy even though my head was still rocking from the Disco 70's band the evening before."
Life in the South is really forgiving.

Many other instances remind me that I like this way of living as, "You are the customer, the little lady, the girl in need of a 4 hour salon treatment and lovingly referred to as "Sugar"...except for the times when I hear, "Bless her heart!" Well. let me say.. when YOU are the one who is the recipient of heart blessing! Well... thankfully years ago, my friend John educated me on this one! John, a friend and colleague, would often use the expression, "Bless her heart!" during times when we were speaking of someone who... well.. needed to be "blessed".
I guess!! Forever, I never knew what this meant, except, that" I" thought it meant his Christianity shining through! I always took to heart his kind blessings and wondered how on earth he could be, "blessing her??" Well. I did not need to spend years in Mobile, as he did, to understand what this truly meant! I had a good southern mentor! Again, just the South's way of being hospitable! (Even, if the grocery clerk said that to me on her way back from my car!)
I can see why people move there. I completely understand why folks HATE living here after being there. (The frigidity on all levels!) I can even see why the men are attracted to "Belledom"... although I TRULY struggle with that one! But, I can say that I have never been welcomed so graciously, treated so decently, and made-over...sometimes so fakishly, (WHO CARES!) then in the South! It is a nice place to visit and live. Where else can you get 10 months of Spring, $1.75 Sam Adams drafts, $63 Dirty Martini's, Valentine's Dinner at a posh country club with the loveliest octogenarians, alcohol and popcorn at the local movie theatre, Indian grocery stores, and a Nascar watching boyfriend! The only thing missing is my platinum doo! (And that's only because I can't sit in the chair for 8 hours!!!)

Damsels in distress???.. maybe... however I have learned that this isn't the worse thing. The South is a flashback at times. It is a reminder that men are men and women are ladies.
We Yankee-chicks sometimes need reminding!

A girl gets used to her life in the South. My airport scenes now end something like this...

Scarlett: "Rhett, Rhett, - Rhett, where shall I ever go? What shall I do?"

Rhett Butler: "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give damn."

Scarlett: "Rhett, don't. I shall faint."

Rhett Butler: "I want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the fools you've ever known have kissed you like this, have they? Your Charles, or your Frank, or your stupid Ashley!"

Scarlett: "Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day."

Bye y'all,
S. O'H

Son of a Preacher Man

2010-03-03T20:21:00.005-05:00

"The only boy who could ever teach me, was the son of a preacher man.. the only boy who could ever reach me.. was the son of a preacher man. Yes, he was, he was. Oh yes, he was!"

Some of you may know who I speak of. And some may not. I am preaching today about my dearest friend, Greg Cole. He is, in fact, the son of preacher man. And in fact the only one who could ever reach me or teach me, for that matter !

Most of you know how Greg's legendary words are used to describe God and Spirit, interpret the bible in a fashion that allows the modern man to comprehend and relate. In fact, some of you may miss those words terribly! I know I did, until I received the privilege this past weekend to once again be mesmerized and literally dazzled by his God-speak.

This blog is about you, Preacher Boy! ("PB") The man formerly known as Preacher Boy... and well, is today. This sermon's for you kid....

This past weekend in a visit to the very hip city, (really), of Jacksonville, Florida, I had the rare opportunity to sit in on 3 services in an Episcopal parish located in a very affluent section of Jax. These were no ordinary church services to me, as I was there to listen to PB preach a rather deep and energized message about affordable and decent housing to the hardworking people of Jax. You see, PB is no longer a collar-carrying preacher, he is the Sr. Development Officer and Interim Director of Development for HabiJax... a cute word for Habitat for Humanity of Jacksonville. Probably the largest non-profit organization in Jax, and certainly,within the top 3 of the largest Habitat affiliates in the United States. Greg, was hired to reach the faith communities about giving, so as the hardworking man in Jax could receive "a hand up and not a hand out!"

WOW! Talk about God directing our lives!

Anyway, Greg informed me weeks ago about his preaching at St. Mark's. He was incredibly excited and ready to get back in front of the people again. Well. Let's be clear, the Episcopal folk! Greg has been preaching all over Jax for some months now. Every faith imaginable! (We even attended a "mega-church" this weekend!!!) But, when PB was asked to deliver the sermons for the 3 services on his home turf he more than jumped at the opportunity! As, for me, it was like going home! Preparing for this a week in advance, he angled me in every way as to how he would connect covenants, plead Luke, and justify Genesis! Ahhhh.. the old days!

We talked, and he taught me. He found every free moment to run some piece of scripture he could weave together by me. He sat at at his house of writing worship, St. Arbucks, and poured his heart and soul into his work. Although, not for him, but for the college boy, and others like Thomas, who grew up in a Habijax home and is studying to become a prosecuting attorney! He wrote that sermon for the homeless, the needy and the lost. He wrote it so that the common man could come terms with how God does enter into covenants with all of us!
So that more, " Thomas' ", Will see and Believe!

PB got up with the same spring in his step. He got up actually several times through the evening to perfect his story. He was a preacher in need of God's people. He needed to get his message into the hands of those that cared, and to do it on his playing field, gave him the home team advantage.

Our triple header was like Opening Day! It was a crisp and clear morning. The kind of morning that reminds you that you are alive and not just freeze dried. A 7:30 service, and after some "thee's and thou's" we were up to bat! PB decided against the purple Lenten tie and went right into red! He would invoke the deity with his passion. And so with home team advantage he took his first swing. I sat in the stands and I white knuckled my service leaflet... it was like watching someone come off the injured list. He got off the bench, and I closed my eyes, and waited. The pitch, and the hit!

As I sat in pool of nervous wetness, ( I was doubting my Tom's that day!) I noticed the most intriguing sign. The chapel-like building was host to a stained glassed system of Jesus' life cycle... Nativity to Pentecost. I open my eyes upon the chills rising up through me, I look at PB. He is on fire... literally!!! His hands appealing to the crowd. The perfect pauses and pleas. The immanent smile. The red aura all around him! PB was standing directly beneath the window of God sending the Holy Spirit to his disciples. Jesus' was represented in garments of flowing red. The east rising sun was illuminating this image so brightly that I hardly knew the difference of where the spirit was! It was pouring down threw Greg's head and around his body... The hue was as bright as the window. I was astounded as to the image. I then looked at the series of windows before home plate. The former was, Easter Day and further down, the Cruxifiction. It all made perfect sense to me.

I watched the crowd afterwards wanting to touch "his" garments. They, as I, were moved by the power of the spirit. They lined up to help and hear more. They lined up to ask and be healed. And yet, there was no one in that room more healed than the one who was speaking in tongues!!! I shed a small tear after the 7am sermon. Although, the third game was clearly the one he came to play.The 11am seats more fans, however the sun had moved and the window was normalized as the others now. PB took the spirit of redemption in hours before. He had knocked one out of the park for the Big Guy! But, more importantly for himself. He was no longer a Thomas, but fighting for one!

I am more convinced than ever that our truest callings and healing are God's way of letting us know, that in fact, no matter the circumstances, we all have jobs to do! God is the umpire in every game! His calls are the ones we wait for at home plate.
God's Will be done... no one can stop that! Let no man put asunder. (Even ourselves!)

PB is back in the fields! He is more alive and charismatic than he has ever been. It made me tear up to be at his opening day!

And ps... I love the new uniform!

Love, Dusty

Advent.. to Wait.

2009-12-08T19:18:00.002-05:00

"It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace.. Oh I wish I had a river... I could skate away on." It's a still song isn't is it? It's a song about about heartache and heartbreak. It's a song about escaping silently down a placid-ice river.. away from the sheer "contentment" of the season we know as Christmastime. However.. we need not forget that hue-du-jour in the Christian world is Blue right now.. Advent is the season of contemplation. It is a season of of self discovery. A recent preaching I attended taught that the outdated Christian model of Advent color, (Purple), was perhaps still a color to visit as it is a color of forgiveness and seeking oneness with God. A color in Lent we equate to reconcilation. But maybe it has a place still here with us today. Our, River, speaks of running into the purple.. as Joni speaks of making her baby cry.. making her baby say goodbye-

Yes.. Joni Mitchell and James Taylor have brought this ballad alive for me again this year. This year more so than ever I have had the urge to skate away. Most of you know how much affection I own for this season of merry making and mayhem. Many of you know that December 21st is a magical day for me. The Winter Solstice and the official gunfire to the season where I perform my hardest .. usually. normally- until this year struck. It oft reminds me of my mentor movie... "You've Got Mail". Do you recall Meg Ryan, alias, Miss Kathleen Kelly, hanging twinkle lights in her quaint children's book store, The Shop Around the Corner? She hung them so sadly recounting this tune poetically.. gazing out onto the busy streets of the Upper East Side in Manhattan knowing that her dream was dying. She recounts that "The River" really has nothing to do with Christmastime. And I agree. She was "Blue" that the possibility of losing her mother's beloved bookstore and family heirloom was about to face closing due to the "Big Bad" Fox Books SuperBook Store chain that had opened that Fall around the corner from her.

She watched the busy shoppers that used to frequent her black and white tiled floor scurrily purchase books from Miss Kathleen.. the expert in children's literature... heading over to the "designer bookstore that sold lattes and lies" to its' customers! She watched old friends and supporters lie and squeamishly opt for the other store. It made her sad to think that her shop around the corner was no longer their shop around the corner! And although she saw folks walking by her with cut trees and shopping bags marked with other logos.. she prayed and prayed to her deceased mother for that motherly advise, so rarified, regarding a rather difficult decision in her life. She repeated those lyrics mindlessly.. staring into the world as if she were one of the shepherds looking upward to the sky that first night of Jesus' entry into the world. Her answer did not come to her. Her personal Advent was nearing...

We know Advent as waiting. To wait. To wait. To wait. and to Wait, (phew)! We are waiting for this great miracle to enter our lives. We are awaiting the arrival of the bringer of Life! We are awaiting the forgiver of all sins and the One marked to bring us eternal happiness through Him. We are invited throught Advent to be still and wait for the moment. We are not invited to deck halls, rip up strings of lights, party on, shop like crazy, or lavishly eat, drink and be merry. We are invited to wait. To be in the moment. Listen in darkness and just be. We are invited to anticipate what could happen for us!We are invited to self-forgiveness and forgiveness with the hue of purple... or blue. But we are not invited to look at reds and greens yet. Colors of change, spirit and everlasting life. We must do the work first!

Our friend Kathleen Kelly has no idea that her life as "Miss Kathleen Kelly," the Storybook Lady, is about to close it's final chapter on that part of her existence. She hasn't one idea that her redemption will come through the very thing she loathed and despised, blamed, as the taker-away of her life as she knew it.....Fox Books was about to claim her. She hadn't a clue that she was secretly in love with Joe Fox. And she didn't know it becuase it was different than what she thought was her life plan. He really was an angel, and not the fox,(everyone including himself,) thought him to be. He had been lovingly transformed through Kathleen's anonymous emails, easy going nature, and affection for things in life simpler than Gucchi bags, (or as he says.. "Yes.. I love Patricia.. why wouldn't I? She makes coffee nervous?? Speaking of his live-in fiancee at the time!)Theirs, he and Kathleen's, best-friendship, was an Advent that they both awaited in this lifetime.. He was "waiting" for the right girl to shake him up, and she, for the man in her life to help her believe in herself again... or ever.

Kathleen , after making the difficult decision to close the store, spends some 4-5 months in seclusion. She's depressed. She is thinking about what someone likes Kathleen Kelly does after being the Storybook Lady??

Kathleen states in one tear-filled, email in her Advent, "People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It's a lovely store, and in a week it'll be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it'll be just a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something. I know because that's the sort of thing I'm always saying. But the truth is... I'm heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died, and my mother has died all over again, and no one can ever make it right."

I have a school.. did I ever tell you I have a school?

But the good news is as Spring approaches and she has been told by her mother's friend Birdie that only the brave are daring to imagine what else it is they could be.. Joe Fox shows with a bounty of fresh daisies.. a peace offering. The way into the next step of her future. She responds to Joe sheepishly and most untrustingly.. "I love Daisies.. they are the friendliest flowers..." He nods and asks if they could become friends? The rest is history as they say. Or red and green .. her Christmastime is really in fact her Easter. Her Advent is over and her new chapter beginning!

Joe Fox: "Don't cry Shopgirl, (her email handle), Don't cry. "
Kathleen Kelly: " I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly!"

The credits roll and Over the Rainbow begins to play....

Happy Advent,
Shopgirl

The Office

2009-08-18T09:50:00.000-04:00

Have you ever watched a preacher on television by the name of Joyce Meyers? She has a number of books and tapes out on how to re-direct your attitude and look at things in a new way.. or perhaps God's way. I have never subscribed or purchased any of her books however since my cousin Kim turned me on to her misnistry some 10 years ago I'd try to catch a Joyce episodde or two when I was on vacation.. these days God has afforded me the time to make Joyce a morning ritual with my coffee! What a luxury.

Another summer delight in addition to watching Joyce each morning is the ability to leisurely discern my future on a daily basis in a peaceful oasis.. and I do this with careful thought and consideration mind you. I have been fortunate to spend my afternoon time once again this summer, at what has come to be called, (jokingly for years), "My Office". The Office, is my.. well... "Office"... in the summer! (Not a classroom.. or is it???) I love the fact that since I began "renting space" at the Office each summer, numbers of life-altering events have gone on in my existence.. and yet the office continues to remain its beautiful, picturesque, oasis of learning overlooking the channel of the Atlantic. It is a place quite frankly, where life does stand still and changes simultaneoulsy.

The Office is open for business most days from 1:30 to 4:30... well, for me that it is. God gives you the luxury of choosing your own hours! The rent is cheap and the accodomations perfect! (There is rent control.. it hasn't been raised in 15 years and it is still very reasonable- nothing!) My maintenance fees are fixed... it is to just clean up after myself when I use it!) Obvioulsy, being out of doors, the weather can be a factor, but unusually, I only need to pay for the days I need to use the office!! (Where do you find that deal?) Many of you who know me have visited the Office in these years for an afternoon or two.. Parking is free, the furniture may not be up to your liking- but your welcome to bring your own. Like work, you can bring a lunch, or simply enjoy an occasiononal beverage from our wetbar! I don't need a secretary, so appointments are readily available, affording us the time to sit the afternoon away discussing what is important or.. just sit and discuss everything that is not!

It is a place to forget your stresses and be awestruck at God's delightful images of tranquility. It is a place to know that each day I am exactly where I am supposed to be. A place to get your work done. Your real work! It is a place where magic happens. It is beautifully and luxurioulsy decorated. The ocean sparkles like diamonds. Ladybugs are the Admins, flying in and out sometimes to bring us a message. The afternoon agenda is crammed with spirtual books or friends coming to discuss them... we laugh an afternoon off instead of worrying about what's for dinner. (Or honestly, out there, you could fish for it.. as many do). The utilities are the most efficient in any setting I've been in! FREE. It offers central heat and air..(and mist, to keep your pores refreshed once a week!) The sun shines and warms you like no furnace or fireplace could. The air-conditioning always kicks on around around 1pm. It is powering the most beautiful screensaver, a sailboat with its white billowy sails that is moving across the horizon line of my computer... it kicks on just in time for that needed break to refill our cup, and walk around the office and stretch! You can have animals if you choose, and if you do not, some are provided for you! Visitors from all over come to visit the Office. They come to watch how God conducts business each day. They take pictures of it and remember it as a place where heaven touches life.

It is here that I take my continuing education classes every summe! The "magazines" in the wating room are the best. Or perhaps, I bring my memory of Joyce's AM message with me to think upon as I discern my spiritual wholeness. I can listen to the signs and sounds of God's "Musac", squawking seagulls, rippling tides crashing against the rocks or a multitude of foreign dialects around me, (Japanese, Spanish, or a mother yelling at her kids!) The point is that the sounds and sights will be different for the indiviual out there in God's business office! We've all been hired for different jobs!

My latest read, ("The Alchemist"), and coincidentally, (or not), Joyce's message this morning speak of the same theme. And that is, to know what we have been called to do. Our path and to not rush it! Not easy work you say!! (and I say).. and yet I'm told repeadedtly in these days of August that in fact its a whole lot easier than we know! (Like the way the Office runs).

I am reminded constantly that God has work for us. A clear path of our goal that is also divine. The book suggests, "we all have a personal legend". Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to get on the path of finding the legend. We all have one! Although, we must wait for the signs of what and where to do this! We are told that we innately know what this is and choke that filter of knowledge with every day living hassles and stress! We put our faith into worry and not into .. trust. We don't want or can't find the time to listen. To wait for our walking papers, so instead we panic and move toward directions that are not on the road of our legendary make up! We watch others and compare our living to them. We are convinced they are doing this better! We struggle to find out why things happen unfairly. Why something has ended prematurely. Why greed and control seems to win out! We spin our tires worrying about what is not for us to worry about.

Yesterday, I was at the Office alone. I was reading a very large document for a future meeting which may or may not be part of my legendary road map.. (we'll see). And I had opted to listen to God's Musac being pumped through his overhead Bose speakers down there..It was the sound of struggle. I put my document down realizing that I was witnessing an Office "altercation" at the "water fountain." I observed a seagull.. beautiful in stature and color. (strong). Tugging and digging and relentlessly pulling something from the shoreline. He was working with such determination and strength. I easily watched him for 10 minutes. (Love when God gives us a show to watch in the midst of our working day with him). Finally, the gull pulls out a large and lovely fish! Goodness it was amazing!!! I also noticed some other gulls hovering.. of course! No one helped him.. he did it all by himself. However, there was another gull around. Not being an expert on gulls I am not certain as to why this one is so different. It was quite large, brownish, spotty,and certainly not striking like the grey and white variety. It was also quite angry! Mean. It was hovering as well.. but hovering in a way that wasn't needy for the catch of the day.. but needy to take this away from the gull who had worked so hard for it. The ugly bird was heavier and bolder, for sure. But, I tried to be fair to the old bird.. and yet its interior ugliness was the part I was most unhappy with!

Not minutes after the grey gull retireved a fish fillet for himself and his constituents, (tail still flapping and neck wriggling around in the bird's beak,) the old brown bird made its place known! The old bird spread its large and overwhelming wingspan and ran after the gull. The other "birds" sat there and watched! The old bird yelled in seagull-ese at the grey gull! The grey gull couldn't respond much as it was needing to hold that flapping fish in its mouth tighter and tighter! The old bird got angrier as the grey gull turned and brought the fish over to the others. It became obvious to me that he was some sort of leader in this particular gull community. The one responsible for feeding the many. As soon as the gull turned to do his job, feed himself and the others, the old bird began pecking and biting the grey gull.. it surprised me however that after only one time of him using this abusive tactic did the grey gull drop the fish right in front of the ugly bird.. and walk away.

Ironically, a few events occured after this heartbreaking moment, during this "God Broadcast", commercial interruption if you will, that were my lessons yesterday! As soon as the ugly fish had possesion of the fish.. it stopped moving! It seemed dead to me in a way that only animals innately know NOT to eat something that might make them sick. Quickly the other "birds" rushed over to that old bird.. someone had to feed them afterall.. and when they got around the old bird and the flapped out fish lying dead.. they smelled it and walked off! The old bird no longer wanted it either, proceeding to throw it back into the ocean.. but remaining at the shore perched! Perhaps looking for another gull to find it some food before the sun sets that day.

And as for our silver gull, I watched him mostly especially! (He was silver to me now). Couldn't keep my eyes off of his movements after the surrender of the fish. He too sat at the shore of life and waited. Once in awhile he bellowed out a call.. but for the most part he sat idly and quietly. He was indeed, embarrassed at first.. and angry at himslef. I watched his pride fill up in his breast as he just gazed out blankly across the mist and fog. The other "birds" they did not bother with him.. although they really hadn't pre-hunt either. I felt for him. I felt for his lack of control in that situation. His obvious fear of being "pecked to death"..(sorry couldn't resist).. And him knowing the "pecking order" that was involved here! (again sorry). I watched him. I watched him watch the fish die that he worked so hard to pull out and feed himself and many with.. and yet, still he sat. I kept thinking to myslef, "What is going through his head while he just continues to sit there... seemingly oblivious to what just happened??"

In about 10 minutes following this silence I picked up my manuscript and decided that life needed to resume. The action was over. It was quiet and no one was squawking any longer. The other birds started hopping away and the silver gull remained silent, but now "aware" at the shore.

The old bird was still hanging around .. couldn't keep to itself either, it was still fixated on the silver gull. Yet the silver gull, without care of who or what was watching him, in a matter of moments surprised us all as he dove down quicker than you can say "EEL"... and had one triumphantly clutched in his mouth! It was wriggling about and it was completely and totally different than the fish! It came as such a surprise to me to see his his quiet, unplanned comeback!!! And with his eyes fixated up to the sky he gracefully opened his mouth wide, (like when you throw a grape up in the air and catch it in your mouth), and as the old bird came running over to swoop in ..he swallowed the whole thing in front of him....one motion.. gulp!
It was gone and.. in him! He fed himself this time. He then walked away without hestiation to hang out with some other birds and have fun!

I was so proud of silver boy! He learned his lesson.. A lesson intended for me to learn at my Office! "The Alchemist".. talks of listening to the Language of the World in nature. It speaks of observations that shouldn't be overlooked in seeking our Personal Legends. Yesterday was one of those days!

If you ever want to visit the office, just remember appointments aren't needed, nor is furniture, or refreshments.. just an open mind, heart and soul! Its a place where the sky is always clear and the ocean will wink back at you as it twinkles below the warmth of the afternoon sun!

Thanks for coming! Be sure to come again,
Miss Dawn

Road Trippin'

2009-06-28T12:28:00.000-04:00

Wikipedia tells me that a Road trip is a journey via automobile, sometimes unplanned or impromptu, or a journey involving sporting games away from home, thus encompassing any journey by automobile, regardless of stop en route.

Urban Dictionary states the following (printable versions.. however I love this site for its truthfulness and usage of word in a sentence!) 1. Road Trip - When a bunch of kids get in a car (most likely a VW Bus, with tons of drugs), and drive to an exotic destination (like Vegas or New Jersey). s.= "Hey dude let's go to Vegas! Hell Yeah! Road Trip!!"

Road trips are on my mind lately. Most especially since I just came off one.. I began to think on my most recent road trip about many other famous, (or infamous), fictional, (or non-fictional), road trips. There are the more famous varieties to look at.. Dorothy's road trip down the Yellow Brick Road to Oz. (although no motor vehicle was involved, nonetheless, a road trip!) Harry and Sally's drive from Chicago to NYC.( The prelude to their future road trip as man and wife.) Then there's Little Miss Sunshine.. more reminiscent of my childhood road trips, (endless driving in a VW Bus with your whole family in the 60's and 70's but instead of Beauty Pageant quests we had to sleep in Civil War campgrounds..ugh), or the sillier Dumb and Dumber.. a film I never got! And then there is the Road to Emmaus.. the Easter story road trip where 2 of the disciples are befriended by a risen Jesus, "in disguise", on their way from Jerusalem to Emmaus.. a 7 mile walking journey that involves the discussion between a stranger on the road in regard to Jesus' recent cruxifiction and Resurrection. Anyway you look at it an awaking happens on the road trips of life!

Movies and songs describing road trips are fantastic. I personally dig these songs!! Sometimes they ring true of moments in our existence, and sometimes they are very imaginary. They can conjure up wild images as only Jackson Browne's "Load out-Stay" can, and as equally captivating is the Eagles can paint, "Running down the road trying to loosen my load I got seven women on my mind... Standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona, such a fine sight to see, there's a girl my Lord, in a flatbed Ford slowin' down to take a look at me!" or...they can cloud the mind in painful memories of arguments, unspoken truths, and blurted out bodily noises none of us care to remember! Human nature taking over. Point is.. no matter the truth, or the trip, the road has a way to get to the bottom of whatever is ruminating in the depths of our beings and blurt out the unspoken and the uncertain! I am convinced that Route 95 is a lay line underneath the Earth's surface.. it holds many of the world's secrets. It must... as many a traveller has unloaded their souls on the trip north or south.

Summertime for many, is the season of the road trip. Folks seem to travel as soon as school is released. They are looking for other lands. They are craving adventure and a neediness to "G'it outta Dodge." They are truly looking to get beyond the rainbow and find a place where happy little bluebirds fly and troubles melt like lemon drops.. when the body and mind.. and mostly the soul is tired of living in the Matrix. The road trip is a way to commune with your God. It allows us to see the world in ways we refuse too when stuck in suburbia. It forces us to befriend and speak to people who normally don't speak to us... or us to them.. such as a scarecrow or the boy we had a secret crush on in college whom we pretended to hate with a passion. Road trips equally make us deal with terror on the road.. flat tires, missed exits, hungry tigers, wicked witches, and traffic hold ups in the DC area! It invites us to strut our stuff in those Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots.. a Harley look perhaps.. red ruby slippers... where life is wild and showering, an option!

My recent road trip involved all those things. And it should because they are about real life. They help us tune out ordinary ho-hum and tune in to what really just happened...or what is about to happen when one lives outside of the Matrix. On this recent trip we, (my travelling partner and I), were using a device that tunes your Ipod into local stations in order to get a signal and play the music YOU want to hear. Interestingly enough, the tuning devise, (sometimes a royal pain in the...), would only pick up signal in areas that weren't congested. Places where the ho-hum of suburbia makes us go through the motions of survival each day.. those congested areas of our lives allow us to not see what is clear.. or in our/my case not HEAR what I wanted to hear! I just got static or FM. The switching of stations over and over 'til I desperately find something I like did not impress my partner.. sadly that is how we seem to roll... or even worse turning off the radio and tuning in to, "Living in quiet desperation..." , as the Floyd says.

Road trips teach us to get on the open road and explore.. find out.. research and let go of ordinary ways. Our Ipod was pre-programmed, but it was set to either play the prescribed music when wanted or set to shuffle to surprise us.. that's okay. Either way.. it was coming in clearly and it made us happy.

Life however still happens on the road trip.. as did mine. Car wrecks and constipation (sorry).. miles of bottomless promises to see this great thing called "South of the Border"... billboard signs along the road telling us we're in trouble with God, (No. Carolina) or, inviting us to a topless lunch with live music, (that would've been my choice of fun!).. also ironically in No. Carolina! Mixed messages abound one might say... nonetheless.. life. On this trip, I wasn't the driver most of the way.. and that was good.. My job.. was that I needed to makes sure on this adventure that we weren't receiving static, buying into misguided road stops, staying on course, and having fun! WOW.. isn't that what we are supposed to do every day??

I once began to write a book about traveling down life's road. It was to be called "The Rules of the Road". I still possess the draft of it. Recently, this year I believe, some other budding author published a book and came up with the same concept.. and title.. ironically.. which was proof that if you don't pick up and do it yourself someone else will! The road trip teaches us to embrace the moment... live in it,, instead of waiting for it.. but do it with a plan of some kind... or as my friend Jon always asks me, "Dawn.. what's your end game?" Road trips start somewhere and need to end somewhere.. they can't last forever... (life on the road can get overwhelmingly at times). Road trips take place somewhere over the rainbow looking for the great and powerful Oz.. but even Dottie knew that Kansas was her last stop. She had her eyes on her fries.. without one single McDonalds or Starbucks along the Yellow Brick Road. The Disciples eyes were opened to the realization that indeed the stranger was Jesus on the road to Emmaus.. a little girl traveling with people she adores on a VW bus realized her dream of being somebody, and Harry and Sally get married.. all due to a road trip!

My trip ends well. It ends up back home.. the nightmare being over..
with the realization that I have awoken from a dream and everyone was there. The road trip took me away and brought me back safely. Mishaps, some .. laughs.. more than I can mention.. and truly the return produced a rainbow in the sky in the company of friends! The promise of brighter days ahead, no static, that home is wherever life takes and makes you happy inside...

Safe Travels, Miss Dawn

2009-06-15T09:26:00.000-04:00

"He got up rebuked the wind, and said to the waves, "Quiet. Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm." (Mark 4:39).

As I meditate on this week's coming Gospel message two things happen for me... I think that my former students know this passage SOOO very well. (As they could teach it themselves, they've heard me quote it so many times!). And, that it happens to fall into contemplative alignment of where my life is heading at the moment. A storm being quieted down by Jesus himself.

Let's open this story a bit. We have the Disciples and Jesus out on the Galilee on a small fishing vessel. They are crossing one side of the lake to another.. quite a journey in a small boat. A normal day to be sure. It was probably very warm and fishing was good. Jesus sitting in the stern of the boat nods off for 40 winks. Then, as things are seemingly good and uneventful in life, a storm comes out of nowhere. Jesus is sleeping and the Disciples are scrambling around doing what sailors do when a storm kicks up suddenly. I am sure they are bringing down the mainsail, (probably just one anyway on this little boat), bailing the water that is rising to their kneecaps, protecting each other from thunder and lightening..perhaps protecting the fish, if any, that they caught..or thinking they can catch while a storm is present! All the while Jesus is sleeping on the stern cushion..I love it. The minute the sky turned black did they turn to Jesus? No. When the water was rushing in like crazy did they wake Jesus? No. No, in fact the Disciples wait until they can't fix the problem themselves do they "invite Jesus" to help them solve this one! Typical of human nature.. when our boats are sinking, we call out to Jesus in panic.

At this critical moment the questions toward Jesus begin surfacing from our needy friends and from Jesus.. (I need to laugh thinking.. "These guys are fishermen.. imagine their language and line of questioning?" ) Anyhow, like any of us, in a time of crisis we turn to God and fire away.

"Lord, wake up! Don't you care that we drown?" Well, what an interesting question. One I have asked more than once in my lifetime when things seem impossible. Don't we all. "Well of course I care you silly men.." Jesus is thinking.. not saying a word.. He arises in the boat reaches out his arms over the raging sea and says, "Be Still. Be quiet. Quit". Basically a big ol' "SHUT UP" to these thrashing waves. And it stops. "Peace, be still." As Mark tells us, it is replaced by calmness. Like when we wish Peace unto another in church, the way Jesus always did when he entered a room, no matter the conditions. However, the squall of this nature may have ended but another type is just being introduced. Jesus' reaction to the Disciples...

"Why are you so afraid?" "Do you still not trust?" Two great questions. It can be so overwhelmingly difficult in times of trial to really trust in God. Jesus asks these questions almost in disgust. Who can blame him? When I relate this story to the children.. their mouths hang open at Jesus making the wind and water cease.. why not? It's a wonderfully dramatic story. A thriller, cliff-hanger. Then when I get into character, playing the part of the worried and faithless Disciples.."Well.. Jesus where were you? We were drowning? Why and how could you have slept through that storm?" The children laugh at me! They laugh because I'm pretty good at playing that role at times.. and they also laugh because they have the faith of God. The are believers naturally. They must be. They are reliant on their "other" parents for everything in life... Protection, shelter, food, love, and comfort. They don't doubt where their next meal(s) or snacks come from. They believe it will happen. They don't worry about how to get to school tomorrow.. they never worry about being comforted when injured or distressed.. or what clothing will be available to them on that special occasion. BECAUSE... they TRUST these people called mother and father! Just like we need to trust our Father in heaven.

This week I was recently tested in a crisis. It was awful. I lost my car keys. I was moving some things and left my keys accidentally in a place where they weren't safe. I was overwhelmed by other thoughts and details.. and did something careless. I was, indeed horrified though, because I had locked in my wheels my purse..(my wallet, personal things, etc), and my cell phone. Yikes! The most horrifying moment however.. to make matters even more compelling was that sometime between last summer and now, I have searched for the spare key for that "just in case" moment. I am not a pack rat and usually know exactly where things are. I knew for a long time where that spare was and then one day in September I could not locate it.. kept thinking it will turn up when I need it. WELL.. I NEEDED IT! These new electronic keys are very expensive to replace. (Of course a warranty doesn't pay for your own stupidity). SO I went on a pilgrimage to find the lost set. I trekked to places so dangerous.. I care not repeat it here. In the midst of this journey, I began telling God as I walked and hunted.. that I wasn't thinking I could handle one more thing right now. I was truly at my wits end...my faith tested and belief in a higher order now compromised. I was panicked and in tears. (Obviously more going on here than just the loss of the keys).. But had I cried out to God yet before this moment?..not really. I thought I could bail the water of that boat myself.. waiting and careful not to "disturb" Jesus while He slept..hmm.
The pilgrimage turned up empty. I was out of options except to go the dealership and pay out a couple of hundred bucks to replace my keys. Ugh. I thought, well maybe I'll see if AAA should come first.. a moment of desperation. The AAA man arrives and pops my car door. The alarm goes off and ceases. He then asks.. "where are your keys?" I sheepishly tell him that I haven't any. I begin to explain my story and sit down in the passenger seat..I'm out of faith virtually. I sit and put my forward on the steering wheel..in tears. He's telling me he can disarm the alarm system.. and blah, blah blah.. Then the alarm quieted almost immediately as my tears flowed .."Be quiet. Be still" was Jesus' voice echoing. And for no other reason I can justify or know I looked under my driver's seat. WHY? I just cleaned and vacuumed my car a week ago.. and sitting in the mechanics of the chair on the floor... WAS THE SPARE!

I took a double take and reached in for it. I pulled it out like I had just plucked the Holy Grail out of The Temple of Doom! I smiled so hard .. beaming actually! And popped out of the seat..shouting, "I don't believe this .. I don't believe this!" The tow truck driver just looked at me as this instantaneous act of God happened, and said, "Hey lady, you keep your spare under the seat?" I said.. " There is a God!!!" And he replied, (looking at me like I was nuts and writing on his clipboard), "Shit yeah there is a God!" I laughed so hard.. into tears. This guy was not phased not one bit by any of my actions or expressions. I told him the story.. and he looked at me and said, "Those keys are expensive!"

I was amazed. Truly amazed. God found my key. Maybe not the original set (which was lighter these days anyhow having just got rid of 2 keys I no longer needed that same afternoon!) But, I had the key to get me what I needed in more ways than one. My father (not God..), then attached a brand new key to home on that keyring. Rather symbolic one might say. (I also got the disgusted grumblings of fatherly wisdom.."You're damn lucky!")

Luck. no.. Tested in faith? yes.

So our final question brings me to the Disciples last line of questioning to their teacher, "What kind of man is this that even the winds and the waves listen to him?" Prior to Friday morning I would've said, ask the AAA Roadside Assistance guy.. but I today I say, "No man at all, but God himself."

Peace be with you,
Miss Dawn

Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da...

2009-06-12T11:24:00.000-04:00

"Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace, Molly is a singer in a band. Desmond says to Molly, girl I like your face. And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand...Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da..Life goes on bra, La la how the life goes on!"

Welcome to Miss Dawn's Blog! Here you can read about progress about where I am heading and adventures that I will be taking in these months ahead. I will be posting my spiritual musings still and offering new and progressive educational avenues to walk for the young child and his family.

I hope you all stay tuned as I walk out into new life.

Sincerely, Miss Dawn