"Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Unknown

I have always loved this expression. Recently, one of my favorite graduating students used it as his yearbook quote. I found it to be a wink from God. Many times in our lives we are faced with loss, the notion of moving on, or the need to embrace a circumstance of some kind without the understanding. In recent times, I have come to this quote in my head in order to close the lid on that wondering notion. If you are like me you may over think events, or episodes of unexplained happenings. I like to understand something before I dismiss it. I will go over the event, (over & over sometimes), asking, “What did I do? What did I say? How did I make that worse? What did I do too much of?” Which then leads to other thoughts, “I could’ve been kinder. I should’ve been more truthful. I was too much. Did I really need to be blonder, skinnier?? (That one has been solved :D ) I could’ve made more money. Did I listen enough??” And again, I can go on and on replaying those tapes, not figuring out why that event happened, and moreover why a solution (of some sort) can’t be a remedy. Today in Mass, a very cool thing occurred. I love when cool things occur in God’s House. It makes me feel and know that God is truly trying to communicate with me. I am quiet, focused, (usually), and ready to be open to the moment. AS I sat there today that quote, "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Came rushing up under me. Why? I was merely sitting there watching kids get into trouble not sitting still and clearly focused on the beautiful Robin’s Egg Blue Blouse on a fellow parishioner. When this was almost magically whispered into my ear. I smiled. As it one expression I truly enjoy. And have come to believe is a helpful way to “sort out” what went wrong. So as I sat and broke my focus away from the unruly child and brightly colored blouse, I thought, “What in my life, (or those I know), isn’t right? Which endings? Which bad calls need an instant replay from my life?” Many came to my mind at once. “Where did I feel like it just never ended right???” Now the other side of my brain wants in. OK… good and then this utterance, “Which endings were correct?” Immediately two moments pop up. I immediately realize that when something is intended to be over… and it is, THIS, is how you should feel. There were no questions left. The ending was clear and ALL parties felt they read the same book. It doesn’t fill you with angst or question marks. It just is. And the pain of its ending didn’t linger. It is a remarkable feeling. So. Even moments perceived to seem like they should leave you head scratching… do not. When it is truly done. SO, then why doesn’t it always flow like that? Well, that’s when I began to reach for the words… like Ego, Stubbornness, Anxiety, fear of making a mistake, or a commitment, or risk in life. Abrupt or unplanned endings come from the human being… not from God. When God does things in God’s time you will read happily ever after. Even if it’s a negative outcome. Because God’s will is the last call. He may not always give us the reasons, but he gives us the peace. We humans make myriad of decisions outside of His Will. We make them because of all things I just described. Which only comes down to one word, and that is, Fear. Today was not January 6th, but it sure felt like an Epiphany happened. So when you can’t figure it out. It “still” has you mystified or you just know that feelings of anxiety, guilt, torn-ness, and dualistic feelings co-exist with your ending, then truly it was not the end. Rather, it may have been, AN END, but it wasn’t God’s ending. The End. Miss Dawn