A Winter Solstice... Eulogy for Dad

Today is December 21st. It is the Winter Solstice. Now, many of you may or may not know what that means in fact, however, I do… and I owe that to my Father. The Winter Solstice, marks the official start to Winter. I know this because my father was a weather aficionado. The Solstice became one of my favorite times of the year many years ago. I used to, (and still do), fashion my annual Christmas shows around its beginning. The Solstice is known as the shortest and darkest day of the year. It is the shortest day of our year because we receive the least amount of sunlight. And to some large degree I guess I can conclude that today could also be seen as one of the darkest days for my family, but in experiencing so much pain & loss I do love that it is one of the shortest. The Pagan people would worship this day however, as a way to mark the beginning of the light increasing back in our lives. Much is why we attribute the Christ Child’s birth so close to the Solstice. The light of God coming back to us after such long, dark days. And that ultimately is how I prefer to look at today’s forecast.” I am certain Today’s balmy weather was ordered specifically from Heaven’s newest Meteorologist! Roger Grinnell came into this world on September 14th and left this world on December 14th. That is fitting and ORDERED. Our father was an ordered man. A Master Chief… order and controlled chaos were his specialties and he let all know that. He was a master at anything he undertook and a leader. That truly describes him. Heck everything was always “underway”. My father rose each morning at 0:500 and coffee was ready to go. (Automatic timers became his best friend thru the years). He was a man who had a daily plan, operation, mission or patrol. He was a true leader in every regard. And life was his mission. Dad was an adventurist. He loved sailing, camping, sports, traveling and most importantly his country. We weren’t kids who went to Disney World for vacations; we traveled in a Volkswagen Bus from Civil War battle site to battle site in search of America. We learned much on those road trips thru America. Mostly, ingested while listening to the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkle, Karen Carpenter, Janis Joplin, and array of Folk singers. Packing 3 girls into a modified Volkswagen Bus never stopped us from being Girls but boy we certainly learned quick how to also be Boys. My father never once let us think there was something we could not achieve because of gender. Being the last of 4 boys he himself knew very much how to live as one; despite the fact that his own mother was the “original Martha Stewart”. He also knew how to cook, bake, sew and garden. A renaissance man to be sure. AS a child and still to this day his girls love sports and have always gravitated toward the Sports in addition to the Arts. Being a child of the 1960s I was raised when women were still women and men, men. Yet the world was changing. And my father was the perfect dichotomy of those two worlds every day. He fought the Middletown Little League in order to get me a spot playing 1st base when Girls didn’t, having agreed that I would wear a “cup”, simultaneously picking me up 3x a week from Ballet. It goes for us all, quietly and patiently fighting for some injustice he felt we should conquer. And yet at the same time, he wanted perfect ladies, often blaming: “us women” for our own demise in this world when we stopped being so reliant on men. Every day I felt torn between being Gloria Steinhem, and Mary Bailey. Our father had a unique and comical way of looking at life. He was not a man who pretended to be something he was not, even if at times you prayed he might be. Haha. He spoke his mind, said his peace, or quietly walked away. He wouldn’t lie to you, sadly at times, and never tried to sugar coat something of great importance. He did protect… and even as recently as last week as I desperately searched for my ice scraper he told me he removed my ice scraper from my car because he thought it would cut me, (having had a chip in it). He was a very private man all the same. He could keep much inside, and I often vacillate as to how wonderful or detrimental that can be as I find myself doing the very same things each and every day. But as private as he could be he managed to get even the most inappropriate life moments on camera. The camera was a life tool to my father. He was never seen without one or 4 at times. Stills, Blacks and whites, color, Video… candids, groups, planned and sometimes (although rarely) unplanned. He felt the need to capture every single moment passing him by in this life. Which is why he admired the News. My father and Wolf Blitzer would have been Besties had they known one another. My father’s obsession with News, Politics, Deals, Arrangements, or even a Soap Opera was nearly the strongest sense of his daily living. Matched none other than to his Grandchildren. This ultimately became his passion for living. Cameron Mia Cooper and Lorelei were his greatest loves and muses. The camera suddenly had a new lens and all it did was magnify and capture their bigger than life personalities. He was by far the best and the most devoted grandfather the world has seen, and made their lives, his life each and every day. I painfully relieved some of my childhood thru them. Watching them eat Cream Cheese and Olive & Egg Salad sandwiches, (known as Loaves in the Protestant/Yankee tradition), Taking endless rides around the Ocean Drive to see his Beloved Castle Hill and more importantly making them his “daily news” instead of CNN. I was also envious that they didn’t have to take countless Driving instructions with him, Fail tests, or come home and say they simply could not do whatever. My father was a man who struck a hard bargain. He knew much and expected more. His Grandchildren learned to fish, but not from Ledge Road. They learned to sail but didn’t get tossed into the Channel needing to be rescued and they didn’t go out on boats in 16-foot seas… but I wouldn’t have traded it for one minute. Because What I learned from those moments (as we all did, was to survive. Smile… and as the Coast Guard says… Semper Paratus… Always Ready. Which he always was… each and everyday of his life. The Godwinks I received this week were many. I am a woman of religious conviction. I am not sad that our father is with THE father. I am sad, as I will miss him everyday. As I know we all are. Especially Cam, Mia Coop and Lorelei, (who professes daily she is not Mimi’s girl.... but Reese’s.) Our Lorelei reminds me so much of ZuZu in It’s a Wonderful Life. This week my life has been a page out of that epic film in many ways. I have felt like George so many times, having experienced so much tragedy and losses, but also so many riveting moments for people coming thru. Christmas quite frankly sucks as a time to lose someone you adore so much. It marks a time that is never lost to you but forever remembered as special… holy and full of life. At this time I will choose to now see my dad as George Bailey. The richest man in town. And after standing for 3 hours in your Wake line…. I now know that No man is a failure who has friends. Crazy Mello- May you rest happily in the softest recliner, tasting the strongest coffee, savoring the best Corned Beef hash & eggs, sipping it down with the biggest glass of water you ever have seen while tender Steak and Lobster melts in your mouth; and wash it all down with the best tasting beer! All of our love and peace to you Dad. You were the BEST!!!! One year ago.. December 2013

"Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Unknown

I have always loved this expression. Recently, one of my favorite graduating students used it as his yearbook quote. I found it to be a wink from God. Many times in our lives we are faced with loss, the notion of moving on, or the need to embrace a circumstance of some kind without the understanding. In recent times, I have come to this quote in my head in order to close the lid on that wondering notion. If you are like me you may over think events, or episodes of unexplained happenings. I like to understand something before I dismiss it. I will go over the event, (over & over sometimes), asking, “What did I do? What did I say? How did I make that worse? What did I do too much of?” Which then leads to other thoughts, “I could’ve been kinder. I should’ve been more truthful. I was too much. Did I really need to be blonder, skinnier?? (That one has been solved :D ) I could’ve made more money. Did I listen enough??” And again, I can go on and on replaying those tapes, not figuring out why that event happened, and moreover why a solution (of some sort) can’t be a remedy. Today in Mass, a very cool thing occurred. I love when cool things occur in God’s House. It makes me feel and know that God is truly trying to communicate with me. I am quiet, focused, (usually), and ready to be open to the moment. AS I sat there today that quote, "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Came rushing up under me. Why? I was merely sitting there watching kids get into trouble not sitting still and clearly focused on the beautiful Robin’s Egg Blue Blouse on a fellow parishioner. When this was almost magically whispered into my ear. I smiled. As it one expression I truly enjoy. And have come to believe is a helpful way to “sort out” what went wrong. So as I sat and broke my focus away from the unruly child and brightly colored blouse, I thought, “What in my life, (or those I know), isn’t right? Which endings? Which bad calls need an instant replay from my life?” Many came to my mind at once. “Where did I feel like it just never ended right???” Now the other side of my brain wants in. OK… good and then this utterance, “Which endings were correct?” Immediately two moments pop up. I immediately realize that when something is intended to be over… and it is, THIS, is how you should feel. There were no questions left. The ending was clear and ALL parties felt they read the same book. It doesn’t fill you with angst or question marks. It just is. And the pain of its ending didn’t linger. It is a remarkable feeling. So. Even moments perceived to seem like they should leave you head scratching… do not. When it is truly done. SO, then why doesn’t it always flow like that? Well, that’s when I began to reach for the words… like Ego, Stubbornness, Anxiety, fear of making a mistake, or a commitment, or risk in life. Abrupt or unplanned endings come from the human being… not from God. When God does things in God’s time you will read happily ever after. Even if it’s a negative outcome. Because God’s will is the last call. He may not always give us the reasons, but he gives us the peace. We humans make myriad of decisions outside of His Will. We make them because of all things I just described. Which only comes down to one word, and that is, Fear. Today was not January 6th, but it sure felt like an Epiphany happened. So when you can’t figure it out. It “still” has you mystified or you just know that feelings of anxiety, guilt, torn-ness, and dualistic feelings co-exist with your ending, then truly it was not the end. Rather, it may have been, AN END, but it wasn’t God’s ending. The End. Miss Dawn

The Golden Rule

Today's message addressed one of my favorite parables of all time, "The Good Samaritan". We all know the tidbits of such prose. We all know what we are "supposed to do" when presented with the circumstances presented, but the reality.. and hardcore truth is... DO WE?? In Jesus' days The Samaritans were not regarded,(well, by the ((upstanding)) Jews anyway,)... as an upstanding folk. They did not follow the rules of Hebrew law anymore,(leaving them unclean), and they quite often assisted the Romans! (A big no-no!) However in Jesus' depiction today He graces this Samaritan as a "Hero". The story begins with an injured ... quite honestly robbed and beaten to death Jew who is left upon the side of the road. He is wounded beyond belief physically, emotionally and spiritually. He watches high elders, and chief priests walk past him. No regard for his "Brokenness". Hmm??? And if not for the generosity, and honestly, Karmic action of this Samaritan he would have been left for dead. The story ends with the Samaritan treating this man's wounds by what he had... wine and oils.(Cuz sometimes all we have is exactly what is needed!) And lifting him to his animal and taken to the closest Inn for recovery. The man does not just dump this man onto the waitstaff.... he gladly stays as long as he can to help his fellow neighbor.. (et hem.. enemy), and furthermore pays it forward by offering the innkeeper the fees necessary to keep this man in a safe place! The Golden Rule is alive and well in this story! How often have we gone out of our way to prop up another? Let's further advance that concept by throwing in the word enemy? and furthermore... pay for it all!Especially when we know it will be seen as foolhardy!?? And yet the gnawing message in our gut tells otherwise? That my friend is the voice of God. That man simply traveling to work that day witnessed this atrocious act and stopped and did the RIGHT THING! (Regardless). The elders and chief priests.. well who knows? I do know, though, that it all comes around again at some point. The lessons that is! It is hard to know but easily understood why this man would or would not have taken care of this stranger.. this "enemy". But in the end, our souls crave to do the right thing.. the good thing. They crave so desperately to act on the behalf of another.. and they know that it is God and not the ego. Be a Samaritan wherever and whenever you can. Lift that person up to your animal, inn or your standards! Show them how to be leader. Jesus invites everyone one of us to do this. God Bless MD

"George Bailey, I'll love you 'til the day I die."

A friend recently passed along an article titled, Signs of "Life", in a publication entitled, America, The National Catholic Review. It speaks of the similarities that are struck between the famous Christmas Classic, It's A Wonderful Life, and the Gospels. To someone like myself I have professed this for many, many years. Once, in fact, I gave a weekend's worth of sermons about how one can compare his stewardship to this very story! (I think that's when I caught the preaching bug!) Regardless, this film has played a major role in my life, representing Spirits of Pasts, Present and Future! It is the quintessential story of human choice vs. God choice. It is the story of how Destiny and Fate weave their way into our pre-conceived lives, and ultimately the story of unconditional love and fortune. One of my favorite and pivotal lines of the film occurs when George Bailey has wished his life away ... feeling that failure is the bottom line. He tells his Guardian Angel that in fact if he had never been born countless people would have experienced a better existence. Once George is "allowed" to see a life that contains no George Bailey he realizes how horrible in fact those lives are indeed compromised due to his absence. Thus the line, "One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole. " I have always felt that line so significant in relating how small or large someone's life seems to be. Because in God's, "big picture", the reality is it really doesn't matter how big and powerful someone is .. it matters only if they are there. This sentiment can only be known by the hole that presents itself when someone we love, admire, look up to, believe in, trust or simply befriend is missing from our existence. Has that ever happened to you? I feel for young Mary Hatch.. she knew from the age of 12 what and whom was to impact her life. She didn't compromise her ideals. And yet she knew how difficult it might be to hang on to such a dream. She whispers into George's "trick ear" as he relates his intentions of heading down his road of Coconut Dreams, and memberships into the National Geographic Explorers Society, that she somehow would spend her days with this fabulous person. She whispered into a "deaf ear"... "George Bailey, I'll love you until the day I die." As he scooped her decadent chocolate and coconut sundae into a fountain glass, calling her "brainless". She persisted throughout her adulthood fighting off local vixens, and her own demons of self-doubt.. "Perhaps, I should marry Sam Wainwright.. he is after all... "the richest man in town." Thinking George will never loosen his grip on the ideal vision of world renowned living, harems, and building GREAT things one day. She waited and waited until one day she snapped.. literally.. snapping her 72" version of Buffalo Gals, and throwing George out of her home, that he reluctantly and angrily came back for his "hat" that she gave it her "all" in her attempt to listen to what God had been steering her toward all along! Was George to build GREAT things?? YES.. they just didn't look like what he thought they might. (much like my favorite religious story.. The Tales of Three Trees.) DID George settle?? Maybe for a second, But only with his own Ego.. never with God. And did she love him 'til the day she died?? YOU BET! She loved him and knew him like no other.. good, bad and the ugly... even on that fate-filled Christmas Eve when Uncle Billy squandered their money, and George went home on a rampage throughout their lovely, restored, old broken down home! She loved her husband come hell or high water. And would help him no matter what! Perhaps it was in her name Mary, that lends the story so much credence. Or the fallen angel making good on his promises that we all like?? Or could it be my other favorite line... "A man is not a failure who has friends." That makes me see the truth in this story. It is truly the acceptance that we are born as normal folk who are here to affect each other. Love each other despite the weakness and perservere through the daily crap that keeps us renewed. Reborn. The holiest day began, and George has left for work picking up the "Merry Christmas Wreath" that Mary asked him to get... the sign of a man who really was happy before asked to recount what had happened to make him question his path. I love that Christmas Eve morning when George is leaving on a very happy note. Awaiting the homecoming of his beloved brother Harry, he leaves his home practically skipping to the Building and Loan before a drunken Uncle Billy confesses to misplacing 8K! Potter realizes that Billy didn't "misplace it" that in fact, he enables and helps something scandalous to try and ruin an innocent life. Despite the horrific conditions that lie ahead of him, I love that he is so concerned with ZuZu's fever/petals in the midst of his personal jeopardy. And, I love the fact that he questions his wife in the kitchen of their home as to how the hell they got here.... and how she just let's him vent. Mary continues to stay on her path of preparing a meal for their family, simultaneously taking care of a miserably worried George, 4 children belching out orders and maintaining her role as the go-to gal! In the end, George would rather have his life, than no life at all.. even if he must go to jail. And yet, his kind deeds throughout his lifetime will not go overlooked. If there was ever a film modeled after unconditional love it is this one. It is truly the Christmas epic that digs deeper holes in our soul each year, ones large enough to bury our wishes much like Mary buries hers in the deaf ear of her beloved George Bailey! Not Sam Wainwright... it is George who is ultimately the richest man in town! Because honestly, George.. it is a wonderful life! And I'll love you 'til the day I die..... Mary

Fishing for Men

Being a single person at my age, often makes folks scratch their heads in wonder. Perhaps,like many do after fishing all day and having caught not one thing. Most do not understand. Think that i might have some sort of intimacy issue, or need some sort of therapy to find out why! The truth is all a Fish Tale, if you will! Our world is swimming with Dating Websites!!! (Actually I think it is drowning in them!) In researching a bit for this blog entry, I was surfing the net for the top sites. Mind you.. I came up with 5 "REALLY BIG ONES".... and then I realized as I cast my line for more options to explore that in fact is was overflowing! Carpe Diem, might in fact be translated as "fish of the day" afterall!!! And that is no fish story!!! Match.com, eharmony, Christian Mingles or Singles??( I forget which one it is, or in fact, both exist!) Our Time, (over 50 site), and such! However, in my search I had to dive to into the "other" sites a bit too. Here were a few I needed to "throw back"... Can I just say I personally dig, Meeting Millionaires, (except they REALLY check your green back status!) The Ugly Bug Ball.com (Oh lord.. "This fish" is too shallow to swim in those waters!). Cougarlife sounded kinda fun. I thought I might join JDate, as Jews & Christians have more in common than not and the personals are hilariously depressing & sarcastic. Then I got to thinking how Holy Week would be our "fish or cut bait" moment each year. And then there was my personal fav.... OnlineBootyCall.com. And of course where all this fishy-ness is leading, is to the site, Plenty of Fish.com, aka...POF! Honestly, until a friend recently told me she was fishing in this pond, I would have never known it to exist. I'm simply, "dead in the pan," when it comes to thinking we go fishing for fiances, flames, fanciers, or even friends with benefits! (Philanders it seems more like!) It's just me, I am sure. I know plenty of nice folks who have found love in all the right places from casting their nets. But for me, it doesnt seem to make sense. If fishing websites, I mean dating sites work then why are so many people on them all the time?? Why do the pools of opportunities seem to grow larger instead of smaller?? If they are meant to help us narrow down our search, it only seems to expand? the oceans are vast, and the fish are plenty.... Ill tell you why.. becuase a fish and bird may find love, but where do they live???? Has fishing changed? Or the fish?? Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.We are a fickle society now. I often wonder how and why those that have been fishing for mates for thousands of years did it before technology ever did it? Were they fishing in the right rivers? Sometimes.. and sometimes fish were caught to just be eaten. Were they more successful? Were they catching fish when they cast every time? We were obviously a different society then. One that married for reasons, and purpose. Perhaps societal pressure, arranged unions, and the knowledge that our catch of the day,... was just that. We have been afforded so much in life now that the choices are confusing. We are informed that certain fish are better than others for us. Personally, I love cod. It's light and flaky, yet healthy! It's perfect lightly breaded or plain, and not terribly expensive. It doesn't require me to purchase a special wooden pallet for it to lie upon, and it looks lovely next broccoli! Salmon, on the other hand, is considered full of omega-rich vitamins, but it also very oily, gives me a stomach ache, and again, the word "rich" comes to mind. Whatever floats your boat I suppose is right? The right catch for you. The real issue however, is not about how we go about finding a good hole to go fishing in. Because, you cannot catch trout with dry breeches! One must be willing to do the work in order to prepare the fish for the feast! Most do not like that part. It requires getting your hands dirty after a catch! I think there are finite types of fishermen. They fish in only a few ways. I don't think we need hundreds of websites to define who and what we like and are. For many, the charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. Then the thrill of the hunt is over. Time to throw back what we have and try again. That simply does not work for me! And sadly, I think I have been caught and thrown back more times than I care to mention. Fishermen who think with their flys! Another type of fishermen is one who fishes for fish and not for sport. They've caught their "whopper" and now go fish for the fun of fishing. Throw back what they can't keep, and happily go home at the end of the day. And then there is a type that I mostly resonate with. The fishermen who walks out slowly in high waters and waders, trepedaciously and careful not to splash and scare them all off. Thinks nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught! The reality for me it often has turned out to be more of... The one that got away... In the end! When my friend and I discussed the POF website, (her 2nd or 3rd exhibition). I asked her if she should stop going up stream and let the river come to her?? She agreed. Why in fact, she is a busy career gal with much on her plate already. Perhaps too many fish swimming around her were preventing her from seeing the right catch. Indeed, ... and that she didn't need to keep returning to the same pool or school. Perhaps there was another way? Keeping her eyes on her fries,(Fish and Chips perhaps), was more the hook she needed to be casting and staying with. She asked me well then what?? She, as myself are both very spiritually- minded gals, so I wasn't telling her a another Fish Story when I offered that she buy the bait of all bait. The Ultimate Fish... And that being God. She smiled in text format :) I said, why don't you let God tell you where to cast your net much like he did to Peter that fine morning. Remember, Peter and the others had been fishing all night, and had caught nothing. They were exhausted, and hardly prepared to go right back out and fish again. Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, I am too tired, I have been fishing all night and have caught nothing, what makes you think I will catch something now?" And Jesus replies, " Simon Peter, place your net to the right of this boat." AT once the nets were filled to abundance! Obviously the "right", not just the "starboard side", but the "right side". God wants your trust that He has your back! He will wear your vest with lures and He will provide your feast. And not to worry... God would never give you a salmon if that is what makes your stomach ache! God already knows what you can eat that works for you digestion! Some may argue this point with me, by offering, Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. However, I choose GOD as my fishsite. Jesus, tells us that nothing is impossible with God, so why do we think we need to go out and do a better job than God can for us?? This girl has stopped fly-fishing, hung up her pole, taken off her waders and hook-woven hat, stopped telling fish tales of the one that got away,and traded them all for a good, strong net. I am tired, much like Peter, but will wait for her casting call patiently. And remember, both on the water and with God the RIGHT side is always the green light! <>-<

Oh...What a Ride!

It has indeed been a while since my last blog entry. Perhaps this will be my incentive to be more discplined in this meaningful activity for me. This blog is dedicated to my 1st mentor, employer, and recently departed friend, Elliot. Many of you will know the story of this recent tradegy. Elliot was an avid cyclist and was killed on Memorial Blvd in Newport, RI the end of June 2012. I was heartbroken when I learned of such an unecessary event. However, through my faith, I have come to understand that Dr. Elliot Kaminitz, in fact, had taken each day as though it was his last ride. And quite honestly, taught me how to ride through life at a very young, but impressionable age! In my very early adult life, (well teenage years really), I had been invited "strongly" to investigate the dental field. It was not really my thing... however the thought of actually being a dentist was cross examined by me many times! I began to pursue an education in the dental field. I worked VERY hard taking sciences and myriad of anatomy classes to pursue such a career. In my 2nd year of study I thought I should probably pursue "work" in this area to further confirm this was something "I wanted" vs. something "someone else wanted for me." I was sent to Dr. Elliot Kaminitz. He then became far more than my dentist, or employer, but more a mentor and truly a life coach. A friend. A father figure. A brother. I worked for him for nearly 10 years. 5 or so, while I decided that teaching was more my thing... and the other 5 on an off subbing for women on vacation during my summers off. I did that mostly for our "reunion shows". You know on television, (especially from the 60s and 70s), when members of a show would leave only to be reunited in a "Special" from one year to the next. I did it for that! I did for the love of his laughter, his wit, and humor. I did for the feel-good comroderie that happens between actors when they do perform a good show.. and honestly.. I did it to keep my hand in dentistry a bit, just in case... well... you know! He taught me about "The SHOW". He taught me how to enter into "hair and make up" everyday before we went out to our public. Put a smile on.. no matter how crappy you felt.. whichever boyfriend du jour dumped you, or that you had a Final or 3 that week. ( I worked a full time job 10 hours a day and drove to Providence 4 nights a week just so i could learn how to put on another show later in life! All with his help, understanding and encouragement.) He taught me ... much like his bicycle escapades that if you get caught in traffic, yelled at, feel under pressure to be perfect, (and he WAS a PERFECTIONIST), to get back on that bike and keep going! He taught me that this too shall pass... and that being the best was better than worrying about what others were doing. He possessed a very good sized ego.. and I admired it! He believed in God, doing the right thing, and helping others. He was a compassionate man. (Even if the outside windows were always beckoning him to finish a patient early so he could go for that ride at the end of the day!) He cared.. about us all. Coming from humble beginnings.. both of us... I learned that you could call your travel agent at lunch and book a ticket to Israel or Rome..in 45 minutes. I learned that friends with airplanes were a good thing to have.. especially when you felt like going to Nantucket for lunch! And I laerned that great success can come upon ANYONE who wants it and lives for the moment. Carpe Diem would have been his signature phrase had he had one! Becuase he certianly did it! The expression, as trite as it can sound at times.. "Live each day as though it were your last," must have been coined by my friend... as HE DID THAT! And honestly, this kid had to learn HOW to do that! it took me a long time... but I learned... I wish I had learned that as fast as how to root canal a tooth or pull one! He was a teacher of life... and truly, that, I think, before a dentist. If that is even possible?? But in the field of education, HE was my first instructor! Life Instructor. I am attracted to funny people. I am funny. I can be dark... and perhaps sarcastic in nature... and it helped that he was too. We shared many a fun moment all while 5 inches apart and strictly communicating with our eyes! The AIDS virus had just been discovered while I was entering the field of Dental Surgery. It was scary times for us all in a variety of ways! So masks and gloves, (which were never part of my original training), became a mandated edict. You can learn an awful lot about someone when you can't see them!! And I did! If the phrase that the eyes are the window to the soul means anything, or holds validity, than surely I learned it there with him! Dr. K was a devoted family man. He loved his family more than life itself. The only son of an older Jewish couple... he really was a walking metaphor! He was loved to death by his parents. And in turn he loved his kids to death! And his beloved wife. There wasnt a thing he would not do for them all. Again, he lived right out on the front line daily. And he tried for so long... to get me to do the same. He and I had so many religious and spiritual conversations over patients... who believe me had lots of "patience." They listened to us, (like it or not), and our candor over the teachings of Joseph Campbell, Christianity, Judaism, and any other religous groups or experiences we could think of! Its a wonder that I write and teach spiritually. I never thought it a developed piece in me then, I come to see it was there waiting for me. He taught me about Classical, Jazz, and Theatre music! He would often give me tickets to such events so I could develop a finer taste in music. AND I DID! And honestly, I do owe that to him. I was a classically trained ballet dancer... so he knew.. And he knew I just didn't know it all! He taught me! He loved my appreciation for rock-n-roll, and would often play a game called guess that band while we, "drilled and filled". In those days.. B101 and LITE 105 actually played the "oldies"... HAH.. its hard for me to grasp now that Queen and Tunes from the 1980s have rolled into the slots of Herman's Hermits, and The Monkees! Elliot died doing what he loved to do best..(not cooking Chinese food.. although a close 2nd). He was riding his bike. He was an avid cyclist and health nut. It is indeed ironic that he died doing what he loved to do! Not his fault, but still.. it happened. The ONLY piece of sense and logic I can come up with is that "the other side", truly, TRULY, must be, "All that and a bag of chips!" As if he had a choice to stay and live his life here... with all the wonderment he had... HE WOULD HAVE! Never have I ever met someone that had such a zeal to live... a passion to live his days out the way he felt, and the drive to Just DO IT! ( A living Nike advertisemnt). ALL I can offer is his parents must have done the Hava Nagila when he showed up! Is it tragic?? YES! I wish I could have said goodbye... and really we did 3years ago, unbeknownst to me. Always remember that you never know when the goodbye will happen sometimes. SO, I can say that he in fact did have quite the ride! He would always tell me I reminded him of "Mary Richards" from the Mary Tyler Moore Show ..."Oh Mr. Grant..." and I suppose he was right about that too.. but he needs to know that I did flip my beret to the air a while ago... and I owe it all to him! Oh Mr. Grant... What a ride that was! Love, Dawnie

Why do you look for the living among the dead?

Why do you look for the living among the dead? What a phrase??!! What power??? What force??? What truth!!!!!!! Kids know this innately.. And somewhere along the way we lose this power!!!! Honestly.. I must recite this several times a year in regard to daily situations that may come across my daily fare!! Are you living? Truly?? Are you among those who embrace each day as the day of all days??? Do you see life as a new lease on life? Do you understand that each day we awaken we have the power to transform our way of being and living? We can be new again tomorrow? Or are you someone that views the world cynically, critically, and harshly… and thinks each day is spelled out and mundane? No one, or no event changes?? And nothing can alter that??? I am always the correct one?! Need to be right?? I can or can’t make the difference in someone else’s life?? I am too good for them.. Them for me..Etc??? Life is what it is….sadly, many of us do. This, my friends, is in fact the Easter epistle. This is why every Sunday is Easter. This is why we should never take for granted people, places and things in our lives that bring us to understanding how to live a better way... a newer way… or simply a more accepting and loving way. This is why we proclaim after Easter, and every Sunday after Mass is concluded... “Alleluia, The Lord is Risen let us go out in peace to love and serve our Lord”. The Easter message. Life is fragile. Life is evolutionary. Life is for understanding those and ourselves when we are confused lonely and lost. Life is about getting back on that untamed, never ridden before donkey and taming him. It is about being a sacrifice to others as Christ was in his servitude to the disciples at the Last Supper; it is about ultimately sacrificing ourselves for the people we love the most. Still never comparing us to Jesus on Jesus’ last day. But rather only needing to give up little to love and treat another the way I would like to be treated. (Our Preschool mantra we shout out each day after the Pledge of Allegiance.) I give you a new commandment. “Love one another, as I have loved you.” That is living among the dead. Truly. Christ was killed, placed in a tomb and not expected to be seen again. A very confused Mary Magdalene, never giving up on her devotion and beliefs went, the minute she could to the tomb. Do you understand how inspiring that is? Women are rarely valued in ancient Isreal..except however in the Easter story. Jewish women weren’t allowed into Holy buildings usually. And if they were permitted, were to do so fully covered. They didn’t make choices. Vote, work, or the like. They didn’t decide on futures. They’d didn’t work, and they didn’t know what would become of them if their husbands should pass away. But in the story of Christ’s Passion, the women play a major role! Do you understand how important it is for Jesus to be seen by Magdalene for the 1 st time after his resurrection? And why on earth it would be placed into print in our Bibles???? Surely, if this were something to hide or deny you wouldn’t mention. Many of the Gospels have been “unacceptable” to religious scholars. So why the women as witness? That is modern view for such ancient times. An anxious and a disturbed Mary Magdalene approached the tomb that sunny Easter Day. In my head, I have her nervously running down a path to see her Jesus. (Dead mind you))…. Laid on slab covered with a linen sheet. She is ready to spend time with him, alone, or not, anointing his body. She is prepared to spend time with a dead being. Lifeless and perhaps without peace. (Perhaps). She is hoping all her good works and love will create the peace that SHE needs to be happy in this moment. Because in the end, we all as humans only seek out the peace we need to make ourselves content and safe. The dead have gone on to other places. What Mary finds though is her master gone. Her life and hope “stolen” if you will. She turns to a man whom she believes a common gardner. “Do you know where they have taken him?” She is lost. She feels He is lost too. She needs to know where she should be. That’s hard place to be living in the middle of an empty, cold tomb and searching for the life blood that (even in death) that makes you feel whole. She is only answered by the words. “Why do you look for the living among the dead?’ That surely is her message. But her Jesus comes back for her.. and to many others to show them that there is life beyond the confines of living in death. And that anything is possible with God... even coming back to life. AND YET WE CAN DO THAT ANYTIME! Death is never a way out. Some think it is. It’s an easy way to not deal or cope. But death isn’t real. If we truly believe in the Christian message then we know that death is only in the flesh. Not who we are! Mary didn’t get this yet. She didn’t understand that we don’t live thru death. Or some kind of life results from death! And certainly Jesus did not either. Death is merely a moment we move thru dimensions much like those on Star trek lived. “Beam me up Scotty”. Death is a movement not a solution. The ending should always be a new way of living… it should be about healing, forgiveness, and love. And I can tell you this… It should never be the last ditch attempt to solving a problem! Like in Corinthians 13… Love lasts forever. Love is eternal and never gives up. It is never fearful. It never boasts holds deceit or hatred and never sits in own junk. It is forever. And that is that. Let this Easter knock the fear out of you. I’m telling you! Cause Easter is not about shoving crap in a tomb and closing it off with a big huge rock… while also being guarded by 2 Romans. It is about letting the rock… roll. Letting the spirit run free. And allowing the life force to rise up among us and heal even our scariest wounds. That BTW can be touched in the end! SO there Thomas! We live though our wounds! But more importantly.. as Jesus says.. Blessed are those who never touch them and still believe! That’s all of us! Miss Dawn