A Winter Solstice... Eulogy for Dad

Today is December 21st. It is the Winter Solstice. Now, many of you may or may not know what that means in fact, however, I do… and I owe that to my Father. The Winter Solstice, marks the official start to Winter. I know this because my father was a weather aficionado. The Solstice became one of my favorite times of the year many years ago. I used to, (and still do), fashion my annual Christmas shows around its beginning. The Solstice is known as the shortest and darkest day of the year. It is the shortest day of our year because we receive the least amount of sunlight. And to some large degree I guess I can conclude that today could also be seen as one of the darkest days for my family, but in experiencing so much pain & loss I do love that it is one of the shortest. The Pagan people would worship this day however, as a way to mark the beginning of the light increasing back in our lives. Much is why we attribute the Christ Child’s birth so close to the Solstice. The light of God coming back to us after such long, dark days. And that ultimately is how I prefer to look at today’s forecast.” I am certain Today’s balmy weather was ordered specifically from Heaven’s newest Meteorologist! Roger Grinnell came into this world on September 14th and left this world on December 14th. That is fitting and ORDERED. Our father was an ordered man. A Master Chief… order and controlled chaos were his specialties and he let all know that. He was a master at anything he undertook and a leader. That truly describes him. Heck everything was always “underway”. My father rose each morning at 0:500 and coffee was ready to go. (Automatic timers became his best friend thru the years). He was a man who had a daily plan, operation, mission or patrol. He was a true leader in every regard. And life was his mission. Dad was an adventurist. He loved sailing, camping, sports, traveling and most importantly his country. We weren’t kids who went to Disney World for vacations; we traveled in a Volkswagen Bus from Civil War battle site to battle site in search of America. We learned much on those road trips thru America. Mostly, ingested while listening to the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkle, Karen Carpenter, Janis Joplin, and array of Folk singers. Packing 3 girls into a modified Volkswagen Bus never stopped us from being Girls but boy we certainly learned quick how to also be Boys. My father never once let us think there was something we could not achieve because of gender. Being the last of 4 boys he himself knew very much how to live as one; despite the fact that his own mother was the “original Martha Stewart”. He also knew how to cook, bake, sew and garden. A renaissance man to be sure. AS a child and still to this day his girls love sports and have always gravitated toward the Sports in addition to the Arts. Being a child of the 1960s I was raised when women were still women and men, men. Yet the world was changing. And my father was the perfect dichotomy of those two worlds every day. He fought the Middletown Little League in order to get me a spot playing 1st base when Girls didn’t, having agreed that I would wear a “cup”, simultaneously picking me up 3x a week from Ballet. It goes for us all, quietly and patiently fighting for some injustice he felt we should conquer. And yet at the same time, he wanted perfect ladies, often blaming: “us women” for our own demise in this world when we stopped being so reliant on men. Every day I felt torn between being Gloria Steinhem, and Mary Bailey. Our father had a unique and comical way of looking at life. He was not a man who pretended to be something he was not, even if at times you prayed he might be. Haha. He spoke his mind, said his peace, or quietly walked away. He wouldn’t lie to you, sadly at times, and never tried to sugar coat something of great importance. He did protect… and even as recently as last week as I desperately searched for my ice scraper he told me he removed my ice scraper from my car because he thought it would cut me, (having had a chip in it). He was a very private man all the same. He could keep much inside, and I often vacillate as to how wonderful or detrimental that can be as I find myself doing the very same things each and every day. But as private as he could be he managed to get even the most inappropriate life moments on camera. The camera was a life tool to my father. He was never seen without one or 4 at times. Stills, Blacks and whites, color, Video… candids, groups, planned and sometimes (although rarely) unplanned. He felt the need to capture every single moment passing him by in this life. Which is why he admired the News. My father and Wolf Blitzer would have been Besties had they known one another. My father’s obsession with News, Politics, Deals, Arrangements, or even a Soap Opera was nearly the strongest sense of his daily living. Matched none other than to his Grandchildren. This ultimately became his passion for living. Cameron Mia Cooper and Lorelei were his greatest loves and muses. The camera suddenly had a new lens and all it did was magnify and capture their bigger than life personalities. He was by far the best and the most devoted grandfather the world has seen, and made their lives, his life each and every day. I painfully relieved some of my childhood thru them. Watching them eat Cream Cheese and Olive & Egg Salad sandwiches, (known as Loaves in the Protestant/Yankee tradition), Taking endless rides around the Ocean Drive to see his Beloved Castle Hill and more importantly making them his “daily news” instead of CNN. I was also envious that they didn’t have to take countless Driving instructions with him, Fail tests, or come home and say they simply could not do whatever. My father was a man who struck a hard bargain. He knew much and expected more. His Grandchildren learned to fish, but not from Ledge Road. They learned to sail but didn’t get tossed into the Channel needing to be rescued and they didn’t go out on boats in 16-foot seas… but I wouldn’t have traded it for one minute. Because What I learned from those moments (as we all did, was to survive. Smile… and as the Coast Guard says… Semper Paratus… Always Ready. Which he always was… each and everyday of his life. The Godwinks I received this week were many. I am a woman of religious conviction. I am not sad that our father is with THE father. I am sad, as I will miss him everyday. As I know we all are. Especially Cam, Mia Coop and Lorelei, (who professes daily she is not Mimi’s girl.... but Reese’s.) Our Lorelei reminds me so much of ZuZu in It’s a Wonderful Life. This week my life has been a page out of that epic film in many ways. I have felt like George so many times, having experienced so much tragedy and losses, but also so many riveting moments for people coming thru. Christmas quite frankly sucks as a time to lose someone you adore so much. It marks a time that is never lost to you but forever remembered as special… holy and full of life. At this time I will choose to now see my dad as George Bailey. The richest man in town. And after standing for 3 hours in your Wake line…. I now know that No man is a failure who has friends. Crazy Mello- May you rest happily in the softest recliner, tasting the strongest coffee, savoring the best Corned Beef hash & eggs, sipping it down with the biggest glass of water you ever have seen while tender Steak and Lobster melts in your mouth; and wash it all down with the best tasting beer! All of our love and peace to you Dad. You were the BEST!!!! One year ago.. December 2013

"Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Unknown

I have always loved this expression. Recently, one of my favorite graduating students used it as his yearbook quote. I found it to be a wink from God. Many times in our lives we are faced with loss, the notion of moving on, or the need to embrace a circumstance of some kind without the understanding. In recent times, I have come to this quote in my head in order to close the lid on that wondering notion. If you are like me you may over think events, or episodes of unexplained happenings. I like to understand something before I dismiss it. I will go over the event, (over & over sometimes), asking, “What did I do? What did I say? How did I make that worse? What did I do too much of?” Which then leads to other thoughts, “I could’ve been kinder. I should’ve been more truthful. I was too much. Did I really need to be blonder, skinnier?? (That one has been solved :D ) I could’ve made more money. Did I listen enough??” And again, I can go on and on replaying those tapes, not figuring out why that event happened, and moreover why a solution (of some sort) can’t be a remedy. Today in Mass, a very cool thing occurred. I love when cool things occur in God’s House. It makes me feel and know that God is truly trying to communicate with me. I am quiet, focused, (usually), and ready to be open to the moment. AS I sat there today that quote, "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not the end." Came rushing up under me. Why? I was merely sitting there watching kids get into trouble not sitting still and clearly focused on the beautiful Robin’s Egg Blue Blouse on a fellow parishioner. When this was almost magically whispered into my ear. I smiled. As it one expression I truly enjoy. And have come to believe is a helpful way to “sort out” what went wrong. So as I sat and broke my focus away from the unruly child and brightly colored blouse, I thought, “What in my life, (or those I know), isn’t right? Which endings? Which bad calls need an instant replay from my life?” Many came to my mind at once. “Where did I feel like it just never ended right???” Now the other side of my brain wants in. OK… good and then this utterance, “Which endings were correct?” Immediately two moments pop up. I immediately realize that when something is intended to be over… and it is, THIS, is how you should feel. There were no questions left. The ending was clear and ALL parties felt they read the same book. It doesn’t fill you with angst or question marks. It just is. And the pain of its ending didn’t linger. It is a remarkable feeling. So. Even moments perceived to seem like they should leave you head scratching… do not. When it is truly done. SO, then why doesn’t it always flow like that? Well, that’s when I began to reach for the words… like Ego, Stubbornness, Anxiety, fear of making a mistake, or a commitment, or risk in life. Abrupt or unplanned endings come from the human being… not from God. When God does things in God’s time you will read happily ever after. Even if it’s a negative outcome. Because God’s will is the last call. He may not always give us the reasons, but he gives us the peace. We humans make myriad of decisions outside of His Will. We make them because of all things I just described. Which only comes down to one word, and that is, Fear. Today was not January 6th, but it sure felt like an Epiphany happened. So when you can’t figure it out. It “still” has you mystified or you just know that feelings of anxiety, guilt, torn-ness, and dualistic feelings co-exist with your ending, then truly it was not the end. Rather, it may have been, AN END, but it wasn’t God’s ending. The End. Miss Dawn

The Golden Rule

Today's message addressed one of my favorite parables of all time, "The Good Samaritan". We all know the tidbits of such prose. We all know what we are "supposed to do" when presented with the circumstances presented, but the reality.. and hardcore truth is... DO WE?? In Jesus' days The Samaritans were not regarded,(well, by the ((upstanding)) Jews anyway,)... as an upstanding folk. They did not follow the rules of Hebrew law anymore,(leaving them unclean), and they quite often assisted the Romans! (A big no-no!) However in Jesus' depiction today He graces this Samaritan as a "Hero". The story begins with an injured ... quite honestly robbed and beaten to death Jew who is left upon the side of the road. He is wounded beyond belief physically, emotionally and spiritually. He watches high elders, and chief priests walk past him. No regard for his "Brokenness". Hmm??? And if not for the generosity, and honestly, Karmic action of this Samaritan he would have been left for dead. The story ends with the Samaritan treating this man's wounds by what he had... wine and oils.(Cuz sometimes all we have is exactly what is needed!) And lifting him to his animal and taken to the closest Inn for recovery. The man does not just dump this man onto the waitstaff.... he gladly stays as long as he can to help his fellow neighbor.. (et hem.. enemy), and furthermore pays it forward by offering the innkeeper the fees necessary to keep this man in a safe place! The Golden Rule is alive and well in this story! How often have we gone out of our way to prop up another? Let's further advance that concept by throwing in the word enemy? and furthermore... pay for it all!Especially when we know it will be seen as foolhardy!?? And yet the gnawing message in our gut tells otherwise? That my friend is the voice of God. That man simply traveling to work that day witnessed this atrocious act and stopped and did the RIGHT THING! (Regardless). The elders and chief priests.. well who knows? I do know, though, that it all comes around again at some point. The lessons that is! It is hard to know but easily understood why this man would or would not have taken care of this stranger.. this "enemy". But in the end, our souls crave to do the right thing.. the good thing. They crave so desperately to act on the behalf of another.. and they know that it is God and not the ego. Be a Samaritan wherever and whenever you can. Lift that person up to your animal, inn or your standards! Show them how to be leader. Jesus invites everyone one of us to do this. God Bless MD

"George Bailey, I'll love you 'til the day I die."

A friend recently passed along an article titled, Signs of "Life", in a publication entitled, America, The National Catholic Review. It speaks of the similarities that are struck between the famous Christmas Classic, It's A Wonderful Life, and the Gospels. To someone like myself I have professed this for many, many years. Once, in fact, I gave a weekend's worth of sermons about how one can compare his stewardship to this very story! (I think that's when I caught the preaching bug!) Regardless, this film has played a major role in my life, representing Spirits of Pasts, Present and Future! It is the quintessential story of human choice vs. God choice. It is the story of how Destiny and Fate weave their way into our pre-conceived lives, and ultimately the story of unconditional love and fortune. One of my favorite and pivotal lines of the film occurs when George Bailey has wished his life away ... feeling that failure is the bottom line. He tells his Guardian Angel that in fact if he had never been born countless people would have experienced a better existence. Once George is "allowed" to see a life that contains no George Bailey he realizes how horrible in fact those lives are indeed compromised due to his absence. Thus the line, "One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole. " I have always felt that line so significant in relating how small or large someone's life seems to be. Because in God's, "big picture", the reality is it really doesn't matter how big and powerful someone is .. it matters only if they are there. This sentiment can only be known by the hole that presents itself when someone we love, admire, look up to, believe in, trust or simply befriend is missing from our existence. Has that ever happened to you? I feel for young Mary Hatch.. she knew from the age of 12 what and whom was to impact her life. She didn't compromise her ideals. And yet she knew how difficult it might be to hang on to such a dream. She whispers into George's "trick ear" as he relates his intentions of heading down his road of Coconut Dreams, and memberships into the National Geographic Explorers Society, that she somehow would spend her days with this fabulous person. She whispered into a "deaf ear"... "George Bailey, I'll love you until the day I die." As he scooped her decadent chocolate and coconut sundae into a fountain glass, calling her "brainless". She persisted throughout her adulthood fighting off local vixens, and her own demons of self-doubt.. "Perhaps, I should marry Sam Wainwright.. he is after all... "the richest man in town." Thinking George will never loosen his grip on the ideal vision of world renowned living, harems, and building GREAT things one day. She waited and waited until one day she snapped.. literally.. snapping her 72" version of Buffalo Gals, and throwing George out of her home, that he reluctantly and angrily came back for his "hat" that she gave it her "all" in her attempt to listen to what God had been steering her toward all along! Was George to build GREAT things?? YES.. they just didn't look like what he thought they might. (much like my favorite religious story.. The Tales of Three Trees.) DID George settle?? Maybe for a second, But only with his own Ego.. never with God. And did she love him 'til the day she died?? YOU BET! She loved him and knew him like no other.. good, bad and the ugly... even on that fate-filled Christmas Eve when Uncle Billy squandered their money, and George went home on a rampage throughout their lovely, restored, old broken down home! She loved her husband come hell or high water. And would help him no matter what! Perhaps it was in her name Mary, that lends the story so much credence. Or the fallen angel making good on his promises that we all like?? Or could it be my other favorite line... "A man is not a failure who has friends." That makes me see the truth in this story. It is truly the acceptance that we are born as normal folk who are here to affect each other. Love each other despite the weakness and perservere through the daily crap that keeps us renewed. Reborn. The holiest day began, and George has left for work picking up the "Merry Christmas Wreath" that Mary asked him to get... the sign of a man who really was happy before asked to recount what had happened to make him question his path. I love that Christmas Eve morning when George is leaving on a very happy note. Awaiting the homecoming of his beloved brother Harry, he leaves his home practically skipping to the Building and Loan before a drunken Uncle Billy confesses to misplacing 8K! Potter realizes that Billy didn't "misplace it" that in fact, he enables and helps something scandalous to try and ruin an innocent life. Despite the horrific conditions that lie ahead of him, I love that he is so concerned with ZuZu's fever/petals in the midst of his personal jeopardy. And, I love the fact that he questions his wife in the kitchen of their home as to how the hell they got here.... and how she just let's him vent. Mary continues to stay on her path of preparing a meal for their family, simultaneously taking care of a miserably worried George, 4 children belching out orders and maintaining her role as the go-to gal! In the end, George would rather have his life, than no life at all.. even if he must go to jail. And yet, his kind deeds throughout his lifetime will not go overlooked. If there was ever a film modeled after unconditional love it is this one. It is truly the Christmas epic that digs deeper holes in our soul each year, ones large enough to bury our wishes much like Mary buries hers in the deaf ear of her beloved George Bailey! Not Sam Wainwright... it is George who is ultimately the richest man in town! Because honestly, George.. it is a wonderful life! And I'll love you 'til the day I die..... Mary

Fishing for Men

Being a single person at my age, often makes folks scratch their heads in wonder. Perhaps,like many do after fishing all day and having caught not one thing. Most do not understand. Think that i might have some sort of intimacy issue, or need some sort of therapy to find out why! The truth is all a Fish Tale, if you will! Our world is swimming with Dating Websites!!! (Actually I think it is drowning in them!) In researching a bit for this blog entry, I was surfing the net for the top sites. Mind you.. I came up with 5 "REALLY BIG ONES".... and then I realized as I cast my line for more options to explore that in fact is was overflowing! Carpe Diem, might in fact be translated as "fish of the day" afterall!!! And that is no fish story!!! Match.com, eharmony, Christian Mingles or Singles??( I forget which one it is, or in fact, both exist!) Our Time, (over 50 site), and such! However, in my search I had to dive to into the "other" sites a bit too. Here were a few I needed to "throw back"... Can I just say I personally dig, Meeting Millionaires, (except they REALLY check your green back status!) The Ugly Bug Ball.com (Oh lord.. "This fish" is too shallow to swim in those waters!). Cougarlife sounded kinda fun. I thought I might join JDate, as Jews & Christians have more in common than not and the personals are hilariously depressing & sarcastic. Then I got to thinking how Holy Week would be our "fish or cut bait" moment each year. And then there was my personal fav.... OnlineBootyCall.com. And of course where all this fishy-ness is leading, is to the site, Plenty of Fish.com, aka...POF! Honestly, until a friend recently told me she was fishing in this pond, I would have never known it to exist. I'm simply, "dead in the pan," when it comes to thinking we go fishing for fiances, flames, fanciers, or even friends with benefits! (Philanders it seems more like!) It's just me, I am sure. I know plenty of nice folks who have found love in all the right places from casting their nets. But for me, it doesnt seem to make sense. If fishing websites, I mean dating sites work then why are so many people on them all the time?? Why do the pools of opportunities seem to grow larger instead of smaller?? If they are meant to help us narrow down our search, it only seems to expand? the oceans are vast, and the fish are plenty.... Ill tell you why.. becuase a fish and bird may find love, but where do they live???? Has fishing changed? Or the fish?? Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.We are a fickle society now. I often wonder how and why those that have been fishing for mates for thousands of years did it before technology ever did it? Were they fishing in the right rivers? Sometimes.. and sometimes fish were caught to just be eaten. Were they more successful? Were they catching fish when they cast every time? We were obviously a different society then. One that married for reasons, and purpose. Perhaps societal pressure, arranged unions, and the knowledge that our catch of the day,... was just that. We have been afforded so much in life now that the choices are confusing. We are informed that certain fish are better than others for us. Personally, I love cod. It's light and flaky, yet healthy! It's perfect lightly breaded or plain, and not terribly expensive. It doesn't require me to purchase a special wooden pallet for it to lie upon, and it looks lovely next broccoli! Salmon, on the other hand, is considered full of omega-rich vitamins, but it also very oily, gives me a stomach ache, and again, the word "rich" comes to mind. Whatever floats your boat I suppose is right? The right catch for you. The real issue however, is not about how we go about finding a good hole to go fishing in. Because, you cannot catch trout with dry breeches! One must be willing to do the work in order to prepare the fish for the feast! Most do not like that part. It requires getting your hands dirty after a catch! I think there are finite types of fishermen. They fish in only a few ways. I don't think we need hundreds of websites to define who and what we like and are. For many, the charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. Then the thrill of the hunt is over. Time to throw back what we have and try again. That simply does not work for me! And sadly, I think I have been caught and thrown back more times than I care to mention. Fishermen who think with their flys! Another type of fishermen is one who fishes for fish and not for sport. They've caught their "whopper" and now go fish for the fun of fishing. Throw back what they can't keep, and happily go home at the end of the day. And then there is a type that I mostly resonate with. The fishermen who walks out slowly in high waters and waders, trepedaciously and careful not to splash and scare them all off. Thinks nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught! The reality for me it often has turned out to be more of... The one that got away... In the end! When my friend and I discussed the POF website, (her 2nd or 3rd exhibition). I asked her if she should stop going up stream and let the river come to her?? She agreed. Why in fact, she is a busy career gal with much on her plate already. Perhaps too many fish swimming around her were preventing her from seeing the right catch. Indeed, ... and that she didn't need to keep returning to the same pool or school. Perhaps there was another way? Keeping her eyes on her fries,(Fish and Chips perhaps), was more the hook she needed to be casting and staying with. She asked me well then what?? She, as myself are both very spiritually- minded gals, so I wasn't telling her a another Fish Story when I offered that she buy the bait of all bait. The Ultimate Fish... And that being God. She smiled in text format :) I said, why don't you let God tell you where to cast your net much like he did to Peter that fine morning. Remember, Peter and the others had been fishing all night, and had caught nothing. They were exhausted, and hardly prepared to go right back out and fish again. Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, I am too tired, I have been fishing all night and have caught nothing, what makes you think I will catch something now?" And Jesus replies, " Simon Peter, place your net to the right of this boat." AT once the nets were filled to abundance! Obviously the "right", not just the "starboard side", but the "right side". God wants your trust that He has your back! He will wear your vest with lures and He will provide your feast. And not to worry... God would never give you a salmon if that is what makes your stomach ache! God already knows what you can eat that works for you digestion! Some may argue this point with me, by offering, Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. However, I choose GOD as my fishsite. Jesus, tells us that nothing is impossible with God, so why do we think we need to go out and do a better job than God can for us?? This girl has stopped fly-fishing, hung up her pole, taken off her waders and hook-woven hat, stopped telling fish tales of the one that got away,and traded them all for a good, strong net. I am tired, much like Peter, but will wait for her casting call patiently. And remember, both on the water and with God the RIGHT side is always the green light! <>-<

Oh...What a Ride!

It has indeed been a while since my last blog entry. Perhaps this will be my incentive to be more discplined in this meaningful activity for me. This blog is dedicated to my 1st mentor, employer, and recently departed friend, Elliot. Many of you will know the story of this recent tradegy. Elliot was an avid cyclist and was killed on Memorial Blvd in Newport, RI the end of June 2012. I was heartbroken when I learned of such an unecessary event. However, through my faith, I have come to understand that Dr. Elliot Kaminitz, in fact, had taken each day as though it was his last ride. And quite honestly, taught me how to ride through life at a very young, but impressionable age! In my very early adult life, (well teenage years really), I had been invited "strongly" to investigate the dental field. It was not really my thing... however the thought of actually being a dentist was cross examined by me many times! I began to pursue an education in the dental field. I worked VERY hard taking sciences and myriad of anatomy classes to pursue such a career. In my 2nd year of study I thought I should probably pursue "work" in this area to further confirm this was something "I wanted" vs. something "someone else wanted for me." I was sent to Dr. Elliot Kaminitz. He then became far more than my dentist, or employer, but more a mentor and truly a life coach. A friend. A father figure. A brother. I worked for him for nearly 10 years. 5 or so, while I decided that teaching was more my thing... and the other 5 on an off subbing for women on vacation during my summers off. I did that mostly for our "reunion shows". You know on television, (especially from the 60s and 70s), when members of a show would leave only to be reunited in a "Special" from one year to the next. I did it for that! I did for the love of his laughter, his wit, and humor. I did for the feel-good comroderie that happens between actors when they do perform a good show.. and honestly.. I did it to keep my hand in dentistry a bit, just in case... well... you know! He taught me about "The SHOW". He taught me how to enter into "hair and make up" everyday before we went out to our public. Put a smile on.. no matter how crappy you felt.. whichever boyfriend du jour dumped you, or that you had a Final or 3 that week. ( I worked a full time job 10 hours a day and drove to Providence 4 nights a week just so i could learn how to put on another show later in life! All with his help, understanding and encouragement.) He taught me ... much like his bicycle escapades that if you get caught in traffic, yelled at, feel under pressure to be perfect, (and he WAS a PERFECTIONIST), to get back on that bike and keep going! He taught me that this too shall pass... and that being the best was better than worrying about what others were doing. He possessed a very good sized ego.. and I admired it! He believed in God, doing the right thing, and helping others. He was a compassionate man. (Even if the outside windows were always beckoning him to finish a patient early so he could go for that ride at the end of the day!) He cared.. about us all. Coming from humble beginnings.. both of us... I learned that you could call your travel agent at lunch and book a ticket to Israel or Rome..in 45 minutes. I learned that friends with airplanes were a good thing to have.. especially when you felt like going to Nantucket for lunch! And I laerned that great success can come upon ANYONE who wants it and lives for the moment. Carpe Diem would have been his signature phrase had he had one! Becuase he certianly did it! The expression, as trite as it can sound at times.. "Live each day as though it were your last," must have been coined by my friend... as HE DID THAT! And honestly, this kid had to learn HOW to do that! it took me a long time... but I learned... I wish I had learned that as fast as how to root canal a tooth or pull one! He was a teacher of life... and truly, that, I think, before a dentist. If that is even possible?? But in the field of education, HE was my first instructor! Life Instructor. I am attracted to funny people. I am funny. I can be dark... and perhaps sarcastic in nature... and it helped that he was too. We shared many a fun moment all while 5 inches apart and strictly communicating with our eyes! The AIDS virus had just been discovered while I was entering the field of Dental Surgery. It was scary times for us all in a variety of ways! So masks and gloves, (which were never part of my original training), became a mandated edict. You can learn an awful lot about someone when you can't see them!! And I did! If the phrase that the eyes are the window to the soul means anything, or holds validity, than surely I learned it there with him! Dr. K was a devoted family man. He loved his family more than life itself. The only son of an older Jewish couple... he really was a walking metaphor! He was loved to death by his parents. And in turn he loved his kids to death! And his beloved wife. There wasnt a thing he would not do for them all. Again, he lived right out on the front line daily. And he tried for so long... to get me to do the same. He and I had so many religious and spiritual conversations over patients... who believe me had lots of "patience." They listened to us, (like it or not), and our candor over the teachings of Joseph Campbell, Christianity, Judaism, and any other religous groups or experiences we could think of! Its a wonder that I write and teach spiritually. I never thought it a developed piece in me then, I come to see it was there waiting for me. He taught me about Classical, Jazz, and Theatre music! He would often give me tickets to such events so I could develop a finer taste in music. AND I DID! And honestly, I do owe that to him. I was a classically trained ballet dancer... so he knew.. And he knew I just didn't know it all! He taught me! He loved my appreciation for rock-n-roll, and would often play a game called guess that band while we, "drilled and filled". In those days.. B101 and LITE 105 actually played the "oldies"... HAH.. its hard for me to grasp now that Queen and Tunes from the 1980s have rolled into the slots of Herman's Hermits, and The Monkees! Elliot died doing what he loved to do best..(not cooking Chinese food.. although a close 2nd). He was riding his bike. He was an avid cyclist and health nut. It is indeed ironic that he died doing what he loved to do! Not his fault, but still.. it happened. The ONLY piece of sense and logic I can come up with is that "the other side", truly, TRULY, must be, "All that and a bag of chips!" As if he had a choice to stay and live his life here... with all the wonderment he had... HE WOULD HAVE! Never have I ever met someone that had such a zeal to live... a passion to live his days out the way he felt, and the drive to Just DO IT! ( A living Nike advertisemnt). ALL I can offer is his parents must have done the Hava Nagila when he showed up! Is it tragic?? YES! I wish I could have said goodbye... and really we did 3years ago, unbeknownst to me. Always remember that you never know when the goodbye will happen sometimes. SO, I can say that he in fact did have quite the ride! He would always tell me I reminded him of "Mary Richards" from the Mary Tyler Moore Show ..."Oh Mr. Grant..." and I suppose he was right about that too.. but he needs to know that I did flip my beret to the air a while ago... and I owe it all to him! Oh Mr. Grant... What a ride that was! Love, Dawnie

Why do you look for the living among the dead?

Why do you look for the living among the dead? What a phrase??!! What power??? What force??? What truth!!!!!!! Kids know this innately.. And somewhere along the way we lose this power!!!! Honestly.. I must recite this several times a year in regard to daily situations that may come across my daily fare!! Are you living? Truly?? Are you among those who embrace each day as the day of all days??? Do you see life as a new lease on life? Do you understand that each day we awaken we have the power to transform our way of being and living? We can be new again tomorrow? Or are you someone that views the world cynically, critically, and harshly… and thinks each day is spelled out and mundane? No one, or no event changes?? And nothing can alter that??? I am always the correct one?! Need to be right?? I can or can’t make the difference in someone else’s life?? I am too good for them.. Them for me..Etc??? Life is what it is….sadly, many of us do. This, my friends, is in fact the Easter epistle. This is why every Sunday is Easter. This is why we should never take for granted people, places and things in our lives that bring us to understanding how to live a better way... a newer way… or simply a more accepting and loving way. This is why we proclaim after Easter, and every Sunday after Mass is concluded... “Alleluia, The Lord is Risen let us go out in peace to love and serve our Lord”. The Easter message. Life is fragile. Life is evolutionary. Life is for understanding those and ourselves when we are confused lonely and lost. Life is about getting back on that untamed, never ridden before donkey and taming him. It is about being a sacrifice to others as Christ was in his servitude to the disciples at the Last Supper; it is about ultimately sacrificing ourselves for the people we love the most. Still never comparing us to Jesus on Jesus’ last day. But rather only needing to give up little to love and treat another the way I would like to be treated. (Our Preschool mantra we shout out each day after the Pledge of Allegiance.) I give you a new commandment. “Love one another, as I have loved you.” That is living among the dead. Truly. Christ was killed, placed in a tomb and not expected to be seen again. A very confused Mary Magdalene, never giving up on her devotion and beliefs went, the minute she could to the tomb. Do you understand how inspiring that is? Women are rarely valued in ancient Isreal..except however in the Easter story. Jewish women weren’t allowed into Holy buildings usually. And if they were permitted, were to do so fully covered. They didn’t make choices. Vote, work, or the like. They didn’t decide on futures. They’d didn’t work, and they didn’t know what would become of them if their husbands should pass away. But in the story of Christ’s Passion, the women play a major role! Do you understand how important it is for Jesus to be seen by Magdalene for the 1 st time after his resurrection? And why on earth it would be placed into print in our Bibles???? Surely, if this were something to hide or deny you wouldn’t mention. Many of the Gospels have been “unacceptable” to religious scholars. So why the women as witness? That is modern view for such ancient times. An anxious and a disturbed Mary Magdalene approached the tomb that sunny Easter Day. In my head, I have her nervously running down a path to see her Jesus. (Dead mind you))…. Laid on slab covered with a linen sheet. She is ready to spend time with him, alone, or not, anointing his body. She is prepared to spend time with a dead being. Lifeless and perhaps without peace. (Perhaps). She is hoping all her good works and love will create the peace that SHE needs to be happy in this moment. Because in the end, we all as humans only seek out the peace we need to make ourselves content and safe. The dead have gone on to other places. What Mary finds though is her master gone. Her life and hope “stolen” if you will. She turns to a man whom she believes a common gardner. “Do you know where they have taken him?” She is lost. She feels He is lost too. She needs to know where she should be. That’s hard place to be living in the middle of an empty, cold tomb and searching for the life blood that (even in death) that makes you feel whole. She is only answered by the words. “Why do you look for the living among the dead?’ That surely is her message. But her Jesus comes back for her.. and to many others to show them that there is life beyond the confines of living in death. And that anything is possible with God... even coming back to life. AND YET WE CAN DO THAT ANYTIME! Death is never a way out. Some think it is. It’s an easy way to not deal or cope. But death isn’t real. If we truly believe in the Christian message then we know that death is only in the flesh. Not who we are! Mary didn’t get this yet. She didn’t understand that we don’t live thru death. Or some kind of life results from death! And certainly Jesus did not either. Death is merely a moment we move thru dimensions much like those on Star trek lived. “Beam me up Scotty”. Death is a movement not a solution. The ending should always be a new way of living… it should be about healing, forgiveness, and love. And I can tell you this… It should never be the last ditch attempt to solving a problem! Like in Corinthians 13… Love lasts forever. Love is eternal and never gives up. It is never fearful. It never boasts holds deceit or hatred and never sits in own junk. It is forever. And that is that. Let this Easter knock the fear out of you. I’m telling you! Cause Easter is not about shoving crap in a tomb and closing it off with a big huge rock… while also being guarded by 2 Romans. It is about letting the rock… roll. Letting the spirit run free. And allowing the life force to rise up among us and heal even our scariest wounds. That BTW can be touched in the end! SO there Thomas! We live though our wounds! But more importantly.. as Jesus says.. Blessed are those who never touch them and still believe! That’s all of us! Miss Dawn

He Shoots.... He Scores!

As I sat on a very lonely date this evening... I found two wonderful substitutes for my
company ...and that was good food and good television.

The perfect hockey game... and the perfect hockey player's food!

As I sunk into both, (forgetting what was around me), I quickly realized how focused a hockey game is! How violent... how sexual... and how agressive! hmmm... Just what i needed for a perfect distraction!

I was raised on Boston Bruins Hockey; my father being an avid fan. I can still remember the nights of the ceiling, or floorboards, screaming the word, "SCORE!" It's a wonder I fell asleep at all on those evenings. With rockstar athletes such as Bobby Orr and Phil Espisito... I truly have wondered HOW hockey has survived since the golden years of the Bruins??


According to Wikipeida the following defines the sport of Hockey:
Ice hockey sticks are long L-shaped sticks made of wood, graphite, or composites with a blade at the bottom that can lie flat on the playing surface when the stick is held upright and can curve either way, legally, as to help a left- or right-handed player gain an advantage.
Games played with curved sticks and a ball can be found in the histories of many cultures. In Egypt, 4000-year-old carvings feature teams with sticks and a projectile.

WOW! after reading this and coupled with my very graphic viewing this evening... I decided how "exciting" it might be to blog about hockey!

Why... curved sticks and projectile pucks is what every girl dreams about!!??

Well... more exciting than dinner, (that being said), and a wonderment placed upon men from my past who engaged in such violent fun! I decided to blog the minute I got in.. but alas.. I was tired!

I have never been so intrigued by a man who can skate backwards, beat the shit out of some guy for stealing his puck, and hip check another man without it being a part of a 70's disco dance at the Boom Boom Room. Never, have I been part of man who is missing teeth. (My men usually have ALL of them whitened!) Willingly spend time in the Penalty Box without having to own his own shame, (In years of therapy), or wear an oversized jersey, (NOT from Brooks Bros), that displays both some symbol of ownership while simulataneously displaying his name in big bold 4 letters.

Again, usually not my kind of guy! I do have to say tho... in recent years, I've come to appreciate a man who, "shoots and scores", according to Wayne Campbell. Likes the anger and no-nonense approach of reaching his goal, and ultimately lets his best chick friend wear his jersey as a comfort for bed!

Black eyes heal... Sticks are replaced, and numbers on the jersey... are just numbers.

But its the man who gets back out onto the ice again and again, despite the shape of his stick... shoots for his goals and ultimately sacrifices it all to score, that wins my heart on the ice! (In the middle of winter).

The next time I'll play his number in Powerball for the win! (Cause it's more than just a game to me.)
And ultimately in the 4th period...seconds remaining.... I'll still want a guy who knows how to skate in the oppostie direction sometimes!

Happy Valentine's Day

#72

Keep your eyes on your fries!

Of course the children laugh their heads off when I repeat this line to them while doing many a task, production, or lesson! I am positive that they really do not know the history of this phrasing! (Heck, some of the teaching staff I work wouldn’t either!- showing my age.) It is an old McDonald ‘s ad from the late 1970s warning folks to keep eyeing their delicious McDonalds French fries, lest someone sneaks them while you aren’t looking!

The reality is that this phrase was modified from the even older expression, “Keep you eyes on the prize”, that is actually more of what the children understand – However the latter sounds so much more kid friendly and funny to me!

Regardless, both expressions lend themselves to many of this month’s messages in regard to Jesus. Stories of His walk in faith with the Father. One in particular, is walking on water! (A metaphor we all seem to use with frequency in order to explain in a positive or negative way the strengths, or misconceptions, one has about one self, or another!)

We hear this expression used often. “He walks on water!” or, “He THINKS He walks on water!” However, it is used, none of us… including the sainted, “walks on water” without Christ! Through, and with Him, we are invited to do such feats! BUT only while in His Spirit, not on our own merit! I have begun explaining to the children in the last month all of this.

Once the “MAGI” left, we begin the real meat of what we are to learn about in Christ. The children had their eyes so firmly fixed on the “Star” that it was actually work to get them focused on what Jesus’ ministry would entail. But again, their eyes were on their fries! Right?? But now, we are fixed upon WHY he was sent.

I love when I can mess around with Jesus’ days leading up to and including his ministerial work. Or really, Ordinary Time! We focus so much on holidays and the bigger feasts, I truly love when we just embrace ordinary life. Although, I beg to differ that Jesus’ life was ANYTHING but ordinary on any day!

The kids are so engrossed on Jesus’ infancy for so long, they ask me about how it is Jesus becomes who He is… or born to be what He does…. Where are Mary and Joseph? Did he go to school? What kind of childhood did he have? And of course they worry ever so much of the whereabouts of the dreaded King Herod! (Wait ‘til I start dropping words like Sadducees and Pharisees on them in the months to come! Better yet, Pilot!) What I LOVE to tell them is the 2x he was, (as I say), “A little bit fresh to His Mother!” There eyes look like moons when I say this! “What Miss Dawn?? Jesus was fresh to His Mother?? TELL US!” They love it, (and although it comes across that way...and has deeper meaning- even to Mary), I love to impart to them.... that Jesus was, “a little bit like them!” It humanizes Jesus to where THEY are on THEIR journeys.

And that to me is okay.

Jesus taking off on His parents for 3days to preach at 12 years of age without notifying them is enough to frighten any child to never leave their parent’s side again. And Jesus then delivers the retort to a worried-sick Mary, “Did you not know I’d be in my Father’s House?” I am surprised she doesn’t wallop him in front of all the big shots there! In Jesus’ “arrogance” or “freshness” are still a mother and son, going through a moment each and every child experiences, life without the other and how sickening that must feel! Mary has “almost” seemed to forget in those first 12 years of mother and son, what Jesus was sent here to do. But, HE HASN’T! His eyes are firmly on his fries! It’s a big nudge to her that Jesus will be sacrificed as told to her. He will leave her for 3 days “someday” in the future, and that she needs to be there for Him when he returns. AS ALL children are “lent” to us. Again, Jesus will confront Mary at His 1st Miracle… Changing Water into Wine at the Wedding. Yet this time it will be Mary pushing Him forward into His destiny. Her eyes completely focused on what she promised God when she said, “Yes”, to God 30 years prior.

As Jesus calls the 12… numbers of events and everyday stories occur. The children are intrigued. They are so absorbed they want to know about each disciple as an individual and how they felt about not fishing for fish anymore, but fishing for people! Their eyes became focused on Jesus when they cast their nets for something very different. Doing what it was they were called to do. The children are intrigued by stories of healing, loss of loved ones, (only to be brought back to life on occasion), and the constant foretelling of what will become of Jesus.

But it is when I deliver the Walking on Water story, do the heads turn. If only we could walk on water as Jesus did. Well, Peter does it. He does it despite his own temperament, and his inability to conceive that he actually can. When the 12 are caught in a storm… and Peter sees Jesus cascading like an ice skater across the top, he alarms the others that he believes they are seeing an apparition, a ghost. (Perhaps another premonition of what is to come). Upon Peter’s request to be able to do such a thing, Jesus invites Peter to walk! To do the impossible with God. Isn’t this the point??

Peter is not shy... he hops out immediately, (Like any of my 5year olds would!) And he does it truly because he has his eyes firmly planted on Jesus. He does not understand the act, but the only thought is that he wants to be with Jesus… That is enough to make it happen! You can only imagine the fervor on the boat…with the Disciples. I can only hear this… “Peter, Peter, Peter…” as they all cheer him on. His eyes are on his fries. He is doing the impossible with God! Bang... right there is the only message one needs to understand the Christian concept! The kids’ eyes are now focused on this concept. Anything is possible with God.

The storm becomes louder, or the disciples… and we are distracted… our focus is behind us. Peter turns to it… takes his eyes off … AND into the drink we go! Jesus tells Peter that his faith wasn’t strong enough. That in fact if he just did the impossible with Him he wouldn’t have lost his balance and begun to drown.

I feel for Peter, at least HE was WILLLING to jump out and try it… walk with God doing something that seemed unimaginable. And I’m positive God, knew that too despite how frightened and distracted he became.

Don’t take your eyes off your fries… you may miss the moment God invites you to walk with Him! No matter how scary it looks, God will be right there because His eyes are always on us! He has far more planned for us than we are ready to embrace at times. By looking away we rule out yet another chance to walk the impossible with Him.

Peace, MD

That's My Plan!

A New Year's Quote... An Epiphany, if you will!!

‎"You have done what you could — some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Emerson


Not only, is this appropriate for a new year, it is more the philosophy I use with my students each day… and should be how we all view our blunders and absurdities in life.. As well as the new challenges and new ways of being ourselves! I love the part about your spirit being far higher than the old nonsense.


I love the Epiphany, (and not so much the New Year, at times.). It is funny. I am one of these people who are hit with it all at one time. As I write this I am embarking on the eve of my 46th revolution around the sun. (Yes. my birthday). One gets a little contemplative when Christmas, New Year, Birthday, and yes. Epiphany occurs all within 12 days of each other! Makes for some interesting couch time during the holidays! One can spend a great deal of time sitting in a blunder from 6 months ago or last week. One can find the most scrupulous ways to bring oneself down. Tell themselves, “Hey guess what?? You did it again didn’t you??” Or better yet, “ You did it more than once this year...” And sit within the “old nonsense” of uncertainty and judgment. Self-doubt, impatience and fear. And ultimately, in the end the reason we miss the moment of anything we set out to do is simply out of fear.

Do you know that I’ll bet the Magi felt this way plenty of times in their 2-year journey toward the Savior. Think about not having GPS, a media-packaged mobile device, or even a map maybe?? They studied the stars, (Its all they had!)They had faith, though, more importantly. They had faith that they were about to witness a miracle. The manifestation of God in human form. They were willing to step out and journey toward something they’ve only heard about. Perhaps read about. And certainly had no idea about. Most Gentiles (non-Jews) were not awaiting a Divine King to come down and save the world from itself. There’s some absurdity for ya!

They stopped to converse with King Herod about the whereabouts of “This Child” … Herod, knew they meant business. Why do 3 learned men travel so far to bestow gifts upon a poor infant if not for all the right reasons??! And yet Herod, in all his human weakness could still only think about how the Infant King was somehow sent here to depose him! And there is how limited our humanness ventures!


Herod begged them to return to Jerusalem after paying homage, so that Herod might do so as well… Again, talk about absurdity. Melchior, Balthazaar and Gaspar were fortunate “wise men” who paid attention to dreams and signs… listened to their internal GPS... their gut, and got the message LOUD and CLEAR one evening before leaving Bethlehem. “Go home another way.” How on earth would they have known otherwise? Stupid? Absurd? Perhaps the biggest blunder in history could have been in the works, until the signs came. They serenely climbed back onto their camels, spirits held high, and certainly unencumbered to go back home and preach about the coming of God’s Son to the other corners of the world.

Were they scared? Probably. But not half as scary as it would’ve been if they did what they thought to be “right”. No, instead God always has a larger plan for us if we are willing to shed are earthly encumbered junk and just, well... “Follow His Star.” Make God the pilot! So, put your GPS’ away, Power down your Mobile Devices, roll up your man-made maps and IPADS and do what I do every Epiphany for my children and myself, crack open a V8… Hit myself upside the head... and say...”I could’ve had a V8!” to explain what exactly an Epiphany is! A delicious, nutritious drink that fills us, gives us energy, and makes us healthy, rather than the empty Diet Coke that seems easy to drink, falsely sweetened, and full of empty calories. “Ah... what a difference.”

Epiphany is really your new start. Not 2012. It is a start that doesn’t happen at the Winter Solstice or just beyond each and every year… it is always present to us as long as we choose to see God in all of our works, actions and encounters…. And let Him to plot our course, take the wheel and drive!


“Let Him plot our course, take the wheel and drive!” That’s my resolution for the New Year. That , my brothers and sisters in Christ, is my plan!

The Courtship of Miles Standish

The Courtship of Mles Standish by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Right.. I know not topping your reading queue these days?? Altho,I must admit that it has made a resurgence back into my literary repertoire!

Have you ever considered that drama, romance, and playfulness existed in early Purtian America? Truly, it wasn't always "Black and White" (hahaha) and mostly (in the beginning anyway), we think of the Pilgrims experiencing hardship, survival, and starvation and illness! And they did. That landing in Plimoth, (Yes.. that is not an error), was one filled with anxiety, fear, and a looming sensation that they indeed may not survive the 1st winter. And they weren't wrong; that 1st winter in New England goes down in history as the 6th coldest, most bitter, we Yankees have ever had!

AS I teach this unit to my preK each and every year, o cover the "basics". However, this particular year, I was forced back into my of earlier years having trained to teach high school history, by spotting some titillating books written by Mr.Longfellow, and of course Governor William Bradford himself!(Of Plimoth Plantation- perhaps not on your best seller/must read list.. but once in a while definitely mine!)

About this time each year, I go for my copy of "Of Plimoth Plantation" by Gov. William Bradford. A classic for sure! I so enjoy the quirkiness of the Pilgrim Separatists. (Honestly this was one of my areas of concentration in college!)

These 2 works, (Bradford's and Longfellow's), just re-enforce for me, that life was still LIFE among our puritanical Christians! They are a dry and straight bunch to be sure, but also not devoid of the standards of real daily living and drama!

One story that is fascinating, is the semi-mythical love triangle that we believe has some shred of truth that existed between Capt. Miles Standish, John Alden and Priscilla Mullens. Longfellow, a descendant of John Alden and Priscilla (Mullens)-Alden, (okay, so now you see at least how it all shook out), wrote a fascinating poem during Victorian England that did rip thru the best seller list in London, about the "love affair" between these main Mayflower travel/soul mates.

There weren't many passengers about the Mayflower...around 101-102... depending on if you count the 1 death, (possibly 2), and birth on board the Mayflower during its harrowing journey across the Atlantic. 30 of these were children! Not leaving much in the way of "adult" choices among the singletons!(No Match.com for them.. altho I would LOVE to see some of their profiles had there been! What a spoof!) Some Pilgrims knew each other and some did not. Some were tradesman and others leaving strictly for religious purpose. All looking for a better way of life than that in England!(England being no-so-merry at the time).

Priscilla about 17, traveled with her parents and brother. Mr. Alden was hired as the ship's cooper, and Capt Standish, as the military liaison, as well as exploratory leader. The three did knew not of one another prior to their voyage.

History tells us that after Miles explored the Cape Cod area he and others found a clearing at the mouth of Plymouth Harbor. It was November, and the winds of change were in the air. It was all they could do to stay alive that first miserable winter. The illness' were running rampant and food a scarcity. Capt. Standish lost his wife the day after he set out to explore the coast of Cape Cod.She may have committed suicide due to the fact that the Standish's left their son behind in England to weak to make the crossing.(That's drama in itself for these ultra -religiously fanatical bunch!) That winter however, Priscilla became orphaned, losing her entire family to the hardships of life in New Plimoth. Matter of fact, half of the Pilgrims perished over the winter, (altho not the children ironically), which then really left "Slim-pickings" in choosing a mate for our band of newcomers!

In the Springtime the drama picked itself up.(If that is even possbile!) The snow melted and warmer days were approaching "all around" the settlement! One could say a new "fever" set in among the colonists, "Spring Fever". In March the Pilgrims were visited by the sachem chief, Massasoit. He could speak the King's English... but knew of one better... Squanto.

Squanto had his own drama, having been kidnapped about 10 years prior to the Mayflower arrival, was taken by English and Spanish explorers and brought back to Europe for an indefinite period of time. He learned English, but more importantly to be monotheistic. He managed to get back to America only to find his wife and children, friends and parents dead having suffered the Indian flu.(A white man's disease not immune to the Native American population). A tradgy and drama in of itself. Not long before the Pilgrims had arrived and settled into "the clearing" once inhabited by Squanto's people did Squanto make his reappearance in America. Squanto taught the Pilgrims more than they could ever have bargained for. One of which was how to grow the indispensable crop of Maize/corn. He was truly a God-send to the Pilgrims!And I have come to believe sent as a gift from God to them.

I have a little girl in my classroom this year that is "in love" with Squanto! (HAH- 1st time in 20 years of teaching have I ever seen this! She believes him to be "so handsome"... or "HOT!" And in my wit and humour I snap back with, "Well, Maggie, Ive always been a Miles Standish kinda-girl myself! And apparently so was Priscilla!(at first). (But I doubt, ever Squanto! That would've changed history for sure!!!)

Priscilla Mullens, a now 19 yr orphaned young woman, alone in the new world is portrayed as someone strong, put together, modern-day gal! She was vying for a Plimoth man, a townie we'll say, to come and romance her...any pilgrim gal would! She learned with the best of them how to make corn meal, bake bread, mend and make clothing, you get it.

I only imagine myself, my longing to live in a 350 year old home, (to this day my dream), sitting by the fireside at night, doing my evening chores and sipping my beer or spirited water! (Which apparently Priscilla enjoyed very much!- A girl after my own heart!) In my head, she was the Carrie Bradshaw of Plimoth.(Minus the Jimmy Choo's!) She was great alone... but also waiting for her "Big"! And although she was great, at 19, she was also perfect marrying age in Pilgrim times. And she was looking. There were a few other girls left behind from sick parents as well... but as said the pickings were not that of the rich Harvest they experienced in the Autumn of 1621! There was not a Cornucopia of men and women to choose to spend your life with in New England at that time! (I still challenge that!!!)
She truly was not the Carrie in NYC, but the one of New Plimoth.

Suitors were not in plenitude, and yet the young and attractive Ms. Mullens was I am positive more than pursued!!! Capt Miles Standish who had lost his wife Winter before had taken a strong interest in Priscilla. He was clearly in good shape on paper, (in all ways!) Strong, well-to-do, debonair, heroic, brave. You get it?? Hired as the military liaison to the Pilgrim separatists he was asked to make the voyage and begin new life in the new world. The Pilgrims were a God-fearing folk, they did not know of such things as military protection and strategy... and they certainly did not know what to do if there would've been an Indian uprising!

Capt. Standish to your rescue!(He aways reminds me of the men I tend to get involved with- arrogant James Bond-types, full of themselves and their clout! Surely had vehicles been invented, Capt Standish, would've been in an Astin Martin, or Maybe Range Rover, due to his position!

Mr. John Alden, the young ship's Cooper, happened to be Miles' roommate during those early days. And why not? There was not a lot in the way of new housing... and hey.. 2 single guys bunking in together would solve a few problems! Capt, Standish would go on and on about Priscilla to the young Alden. A fair haired, big eyed, lad who not only made a good beer barrel, but apparently was renowned for his, shall we say, tempered behavior, that most coopers were not known for!(Bet he made a damned good beer too!)

Mr. Alden also had a "thing" for ol' Priscilla! But like most quiet,polite, gentleman types of men, thought how will I ever out due Capt. Miles Standish??

The reality, is that John, had the one thing that Miles did not. And that was the art of how to communicate with Priscilla! It is joked that Miles couldn't really "speak"! He had trouble voicing his concerns, or affection or anything else... and other accounts claim that Priscilla never could understand him due to the dialect. (As he was like from our version of The Bronx or Jersey, and she from Manhattan!)( I'd prefer to think he was just too damn smug, arrogant and narcissistic for Priscilla!) She and John however, happened to be raised very close to one another and so DID understand one another, and could very much exchange the Language of Love!

One day Miles had made his mind up that he would ask Priscilla for her hand. A moment every Pilgrim girl I'm sure "Dreamed" of! But alas, no Cinderella /Barbie Dream Wedding to rival the Kardsashians... No-Remember these people didn't even celebrate Christmas! (Well in a fun way... anyway!)You think weddings were big?? God No-
If celebration was not a formality in the Bible.. then it wasn't in Puritan times either!!!

Miles however , for whatever reason, was not about to ask her himself. (AW.. too bad email hadn't been invented yet...she could have least witnessed his wordsmithing intelligence.) He copped out- as many men do, and he sent John Alden over to Priscilla's to do the deed! (And here's where it gets good!)

Upon hearing the question uttered by Mr. Alden, the independent-minded woman utters one of the most famous retorts ever: "Why don't you speak for yourself, John?" At this moment the Love triangle takes hold.. and Priscilla and John engage in a secret relationship while Standish is off fighting Indians. It is reported that he is dead... and John and Priscilla may now wed!

( I Love that part.. it always reminds me of when I decided that Paul McCartney was not really the Beatle I actually dug!)

And then... Miles returns... dunt, dunt, dunt, dunt!!!!!

John and Priscilla Alden go on to produce 10 living children...obviously SOME fun DID happen in ol' Plimoth Between the roped beds, and stiff, (at um), black and white attire! (Or at least the Beer was mighty good!) And Miles? He got remarried to "Barbara", his deceased wife's sister, that same year and they went on to have 7 children. The Aldens and The Standish's mended their fences and went on to found the town of Duxbury, Ma.

And they all lived Happily ever after... Or at least until the Salem Witch Trials!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Dawn M. Grinnell,
Direct Descendant of John and Priscilla Alden

Sincere or Spew?

"Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see." - Linus Van Pelt

Have you ever known sincerity? By definition:

sin·cer·i·ty   [sin-ser-i-tee]
noun, plural -ties.
freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness. (aka.. "the real deal!")

I have been struggling lately with those that claim "sincerity", vs. those that just..

spew:
verb (used without object)
1.
to discharge the contents of the stomach through the mouth; vomit.
verb (used with object)
2.
to eject from the stomach through the mouth; vomit.
3.
to cast forth, gush, or eject, as in disgust or anger: The angry sergeant spewed his charges at us.

Sometimes it is difficult to see between the two defined terms! I know, I know... you can make the case that one should easily be ready to detect true sincerity, vs. ... well... BS... but alas, usually a wound or hurtful experience will be the only way you can truly know!

Today We watched , "The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown", as a treat for a long and tedious day of church, assembly, church, and more church... I felt I need to offer a reward for task-on time today. Ya know,I have watched this movie so many times in my lifetime i can recite most of the dialogue, pick up most of the innuendo, and learn more historically each time I view. (I will say this.. I NEVER laugh less
...so it must be good!)

I have actually blogged about this particular movie in previous years... and continue to find myself back there examining issues of sincerity and loyalty spew and BS
... and at what and whose expense!??

In times past, I have commented over the build-up... Lucy's ability to "fool" Charlie Brown ONE more time with the shameless football track, or maybe that Charlie Brown is really considered "bullied" in today modern view of school society and feel badly for him... And perhaps one is co-dependent with the other... But it still strikes me OVER and OVER again as to Sally's Niavity and steadfast loyalty to Linus sitting in that pumpkin patch... Missing her "Tricks or Treats"... and waiting... waiting... and waiting for that "stupid" Great Pumpkin to show!!!! (It actually infuriates me!)

This school year, (as is the case with most 5s), the romantic "Love bug" is present in my classroom! (Im beginning to think it a spider rather than a ladybug!) We have various pairings, (all age appropriate mind you.. whose marrying whom, who's going to make it together for the school year.. a lifetime!!!)

I wish I could impart my real feelilngs - truly- on this... but ah.. innocence!

There is one significant "pairing" tho this year in our class. (And yes... one of the members is VERY close to me...:( (And a very "Sally-like" counterpart!!!!) He would be willing to wait all night in the patch for the "Great Pumpkin"... and she would wait to show her "Loyalty".

I had them watch this film today- I wanted to shout out... "See... THIS is what happens to little girls who spend their lives waiting in someone else's pumpkin patch all night!!!!"

But alas- I could not...What would that do?? Shatter their illusion of allegiance? Embarrass the parties? Destroy the times in their future where sticking by someone might be a spiritual experience?

I said instead.. "How do you think Sally is feeling now that she has watched all her friends come in and out of the pumpkin patch and she hasn't one piece of sweetened delight to show for her night???

Remember she awaited there... truly, it beyond her own wants. She began to feel for Linus' plight... but still observing that going out on her own, doing her own fun thing with others, and living for today was HER desire! And then there was "Linus". He guilted her... he made her feel that somehow if she believed in him that she would also be visited by "The great Pumpkin!" a Windfall for sure! And basically .. in the end.. she love him.... SO.. what is one to do?????

She reluctantly shrugged her ghostly disguise... and went for the full throttle of the patch! Like a bride headed to Vegas!

She was, at first, firm and just,... so Tammy Wynette,(Hilary Clinton)...
"Stand by your Man" ... until the Media and others started questioning...
"Hey did you see all the candy-loot we got tonight.. and you're stiing here in this stupid patch with him???" Okay??? Ladies.. think of shoes and homes???

(Believe me Sally.. Ive spent MANY Halloweens sitting right along side of you!)

She sat... and sat... she shivered... she got resentful... and finally threw her hands up. .and said.. "Forget it.. I cant believe you got me to do this!"
A woman scorned for sure! But smart and saved!

She cast blame, she named the thief .. she lost a Halloween!! Honestly... That is enough for any woman to question what the hell she is doing?!

Was their true sincerity in that patch??? Not really. True Patch sincerity would have amounted in making her Halloween spectacular! Giving it definition.
Was it Sincerity or Spew?

But did Linus know? Did he question it? Linus really believed this "Great Pumpkin Thing would come..." or did he???? If you watch, He believes almost, honestly because No one else does. He sets himself apart from all the others by believing in this myth because he believes the Great Pumpkin will bring him "riches" that no one else will receive. Its a bit narcissistic don't you think????

And then he engages Sally, in her longing for Linus and her niativity to believe people really want something more from a relationship!

Im torn... Part of me sees Sally's ability to believe in what she cant see... and the other encouarning her to run like hell!!!!

Ironically, the rest of the Peanuts gang is doing what they should be doing.. living in the present.. attending parties, dressing up, picking on the poor neglected kid, and dipping and hiding thru the french WW2 countryside as Snoopy dives into his imagination.

My parting words to Sally today.. et hum.. (Maggie)
"Don't spend your night in a pumpkin Patch with some Boy... you'll miss out on the treats!" (That applies to both sexes).

BTW.. Sally ditches Linus for the good life, only for him to be stubborn. His is retrieved by his very co-dependent sister Lucy at 4am on All Saints Day...

Him, shivering, cold and wet.. and most importantly... Lucy is disgusted ... but loyal.

And most importantly.. truly... I want to know who got all the Resse's Cups the next day?? Was there a winner???? Who got more Tricks or Treats??? Tricks I am afraid.

A learning curve you can't take back... but learn from it very well. NO More Patches with strange boys!!!!

XO, Lucy Van Pelt

The Very Best Pumpkin

The Very Best Pumpkin
By, Mark Kimball Moulton

A story recently shared these early October days is, “The Very Best Pumpkin”. At first I found it to be a great story about how pumpkins start, grow, and become harvested… until I read it a few times and of course found God in its’ pages!

The story begins with a boy named Peter.
(Of course Peters and Pumpkins go hand in hand!)

Peter works and lives with his grandparents who own a Pumpkin Farm. The farm does produce other “crops” (A vocabulary word for this month), throughout the Spring and Summer as well, but obviously pumpkins are its thing!

The little farm does very well for itself… and Peter discovers during the early summer months that a vine from the main patch has grown out past the boundaries of the pumpkin field into a meadow. As any good steward or shepherd he follows that one stray vine … stepping over pumpkins “cautiously”. (Another vocab word). He finds himself looking down at this little vine and its sweet curlicues. They have nestled into a solemn place on a hill in the meadow. Tucked away from the rest with best intentions of survival.

He leans down and notices that there is growth there! A few stray curlicues, and some weeds pushed aside give away to a small underdeveloped pumpkin. Small but surviving. It has been choked off from growth by the surrounding weeds and accumulating leaves around the small orange sphere.

Peter is thrilled when he spots this little neglected pumpkin trying so hard on its own to survive. He feels it a farmer’s stewardship to help it, and raise it to the level of love and acceptance it will need to become worthy of a family in the Fall!

In many ways Peter represents God in our story. He recognizes that “one got away”. Much like the sheep leaving the pen parable. Surely God would never allow one sheep out of 100 to be let go for the sake of the other 99! And so Peter feels the same way!

I love pumpkin stories because they tell us so much about God’s love for us. They teach about all of us growing from one vine, yet we are all different. They teach us how we are Christians because of this process, and then the process’ to come.

Peter recognizes that this very special pumpkin adrift from the rest is till part of the great fold that he helped to grow and nurture. Some how, some way… it made its way out of the patch and into a meadow. Sometimes, human beings just don’t grow the way the regular, normal ones do. They oft take different paths and need to find their own ways to survive. What I love about this very best pumpkin is that it is still attached to the ONE VINE.

Peter secretly spends the summer cleaning the pumpkin’s new spot. Cautiously tending to its needs. He weeds away the bad ... giving it room for growth and sunlight and water. He even builds a special sign to warn others… “Hey… Caution… This ONE needs more than the rest!” Clearly Peter sees this as a “special and unique” pumpkin. He gives it his TLC, and… Voila... Guess what happens??? The pumpkin thrives!

Peter, however is not alone. A new neighbor has moved in next to the farm…Meg.
Meg is a lonely girl. She is new, hasn’t any friends.. and I feel is somewhat introverted. She resorts to her books under trees to pass the time. It is ALWAYS difficult being the new kid on the block! One day… she spies Peter going to the meadow, and with curiosity she cautiously follows him. Thus beginning weeks of weeks of studying from afar his nurturing ways and sensitivity to this one remote pumpkin. (Kinda of like her!)

As Summer turned to Autumn and people were choosing their pumpkins at the farm, Peter was selling the perfect pumpkins to their rightful owners…. except for the Very Best Pumpkin. Until, Meg came a pumpkin picking. This whole month… no one had shown the dedication to the pumpkin in the meadow like someone as wonderful as Meg. Peter secretly had been watching her day by day. HE knew her timid, and yet he knew she cared. He knew her to be the right one!

Meg glazed and gawked over each and every pumpkin available for sale, but alas… none were meeting her expectation. She had seen them all… fat, skinny, tall, wide… very orange, and not so much… she knew none of the pumpkins measured up to her expectations of the very best pumpkin. She gave up and began to walk away.

It was then Peter…”I have another pumpkin, you may really want…” and with that that tripped and crashed over many ... and cautiously approached the meadow. Peter offered the very best pumpkin to Meg, because she was there each and every day with him. The fact Meg was so invested in watching his care daily, actually caused him to treat the pumpkin so special! And because someone found that quality in him, in turn, he found that quality in someone else!

She found the pumpkin perfect, and the two shared seasons afterwards learning and growing as big as the very best pumpkin they each designed for one another out in the meadow.

I nearly cry each time I read this story… I wonder about how often we’ve allowed something to die under our care when in fact; it was an opportunity to grow us more into relationship with God. Peter saw that this one was different, it actually deserved MORE!
Please remember that some of us need more than others, and the reality is we all need more at various times in our lives. Peter and Meg’s friendship is one in which the ASAP tries very hard to foster each and every day with all of its students. Please look more closely this Fall as to the lessons that the Pumpkin can offer each of us.
Bringing us into a better meadow, or growing spot with one another, and with God.

Happy Autumn,
Miss Dawn

The Big Rocks

The Big Rocks
Anonymous

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers, he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen ish-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would it inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?” Everyone in the class said, “Yes.” “Really?” he said. He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. He asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time, the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good,” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand into the jar and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is the jar full?” “No,” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things into it!” “No,” the speaker replied, “that is not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.”

I have illustrated this sermon several times in my career as a Christian Educator to both big and small people. I actually think the children understand the engineering aspect of it more than the grown-ups do. However, when we go back a 2nd time in the experiment, and I label what the “The Big Rocks and the Little Rocks” are…. a very sheepish look crosses the faces of my audience.

This is a lesson about prioritizing what is really important in life. It is not be confused with how many tasks we can multi-manage at once. (As that can also be a waste of time and needless busywork).

Let’s be clear….if we do not fill the void initially with what is really of value, and then place all the little, sort-of meaningless pieces in first, how on earth will we ever fit the real ones when we need to do that? Obviously the “Big Rocks” are of different value to us all. Some will place hopefully God, Family, Friends, Marriage, and perhaps Education initially. (Then the second layers could look more like vacations, trips, money, sports, shopping, etc). However for others, it may look initially more like Wealth, Power, Fame and Status, (then maybe God, Friends, family, trips, etc). And in the end, we must decide how we feel when our life is filled with the rocks we need or want.

What if you select Option B …The Money/Power/Status life? Surely, when you move on to the next set of medium rocks they will have to do with supporting the life of your Big Rocks. Which then would need to do that, perhaps, Expensive Cars, Fine Clothing, Country Clubs and the like? If you can imagine your life as the contents of this particular jar, then the time after it becomes slim pickings for where the other lesser sized items shall fit…Friends, Family, and HOPEFULLY God. Think of God, in this scenario as the sand... or the water… the last choice and final addition, as it doesn’t require much space to you… the cars, homes and wealth are occupying those larger areas. How on earth could God work in our life if God needs to meander his way into the nooks and crannies of our life???

We are told that God knows all things. The Bible is clear that God has a plan for each of us. But, God also loves us so much that he gives us the free will to choose our big rocks. It is up to us if we choose to fill our lives with our plan, or God’s. September is like our 2nd New Year; I sometimes say that to the children. And as a new year begins for the lives of our children, and their families, you may want to fill up a jar at home some night with your family after dinner and see where your Big Rocks will lie for this school year ahead of us! Remember when you make the first of the Big Rocks, God, then anything else you place in the jar is merely a blessing of God’s and that is already waiting for your enjoyment. When God is first, there is enough room for all that matters!!!

Happy New Year,
Miss Dawn

The Face of Resurrection

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror, I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer...If You Wanna Make The World a Better Place...
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change. -Michael Jackson

Do you you know what a resurrected man looks like? Interestingly enough, I have been talking this past week to my young friends about what in fact happens AFTER Jesus is raised. It is interesting in the way that we spend so much time on the pre-Easter story... the build up of Jesus' ministry, His Passion, and cruxifiction and finally, the empty Tomb. We rejoice in all its' mystery, wonder and meaning. Some take this story as "Gospel" if you will. In fact the very cornserstone of our faith, others a parable, or moreover a metaphor, for a changed existence.
(For the good!)

The Gospel of John this week in Acts speaks of a doubting man that knew Jesus prior to his violent death. We are not sure why Thomas is missing from the 1st appearance of Jesus in the room upstairs. We do know though that Thomas is unbelieving in the remaining 10's story of a risen Lord. He has not been faced with looking at a Resurrected man.

Hell, are any of us???

I am often regarded as a teacher who preaches aboves the heads of my charges about such events. I have fortuneatly been blessed, "charged", with a gift of bringing such abstract and heady principles to the hearts and minds of the young. Although, the resurecction has its moments of sincerity and true meaning... regardless, it is still hard to relate to small children... "Yeah, Jesus died and then he came back to life again 3 days later!" (Which is ususally followed up by a question like... "Well I waited 3 days Miss Dawn for my Mimi to come back and she hasn't!" (Ugh.)

I am grateful that I am not alone in this charge of relating such material to the young! Our school chaplain this past week asked immediately in his intro to his Homily... "So boys and girls what does it mean to be resurrected?" I was pleased and proud to watch my 5 year olds jump all over this line of questioning, but even more so that the priest told of his concerns for not knowing "exactly" what that meant either!!

I chose that Michael Jackson piece as my intro into this blog... it struck me that those words are very much related to what a resurrected person looks like given a mirror!

Its rather curious and obvious simulataneously that NO ONE can actually SEE the resurrected Jesus!! (At first). We first recognize this concept at that tomb. A weeping Mary Magdalene on that 1st Easter does not "see" her Master. She thinks she sees a gardner hired to take care of the grounds. She asks, "Where have you taken my Lord?" And then she hears.. "Mary... Mary..." She drops to her knees upon "hearing" her name spoken by the risen Christ. How many times have you not seen but been called?? Equally, the Disciples do not believe M2 when she appraoches them with this news. They think she is imagining something she wants to be real. Then Christ appears to them and speaks, "Peace be with you." They are elated and stunned that Jesus is in fact the same, but new. On the Road to Emmaus, two of Jesus' followers are walking to the next village directly following that tumultous weekend and they are discussing the horrid events. They are joined on the walk by Jesus... whom, as I tell children, "Is in His Resurrection Costume," and is unable to be recognized. (By those not willing to believe yet). It is not until Jesus is invited to stay the night and share a meal with this "stranger" that the 2 are called to recognize Jeus in his actions fo reaching out to help a stranger. Jesus then Breaks the Bread and passes it to them... they realize or recognize the face of a resurrected Christ!

Our friend Thomas today when doubting the remaining 10 says.. "Unless I can touch His side and place my fingers in his nail markings will I believe." And surely, Jesus gives Thomas the fulfillment of his desire by appearing and inviting Thomas to believe through touch. Thomas immediately knows and drops only to say "My Lord and God." Jesus, states..." Thomas, You have touched and therefore you believe, Blessed are those that need not and still do!" I tell the children that is all of us!

(Although ironically, The exception is the child in my Passion Play this year who played Jesus, I come to find out is really my Thomas!")

What does a resurrected face look like? I always tell the children when Christ is risen and returns that he is glowing in a light we can't seem to see. It is a light of purity and goodness, selflessness and grace. I do believe we catch glimpses of it when the time is right for us to see, touch, taste or hear God's Good News.

Some see resurrection when they look at a new born baby, (perhaps at our Christmas baby), or a couple marrying, (much like I did this past Firday when Princess Diana's son married that beautiful girl). Others see it when a truly miraculous hope was fulfilled... a cure from cancer, an extension of time on a dream, something that was lost is found such as a Prodigal Son returning to his Father. I often see it when I have driven home an educational homerun.. a concept now received and understood! Regardless, it is a transformation that couldn't be witnessed prior because of our human obstruction to it. It is amazing when we can see all wonder finally! When we remove the fears, and the doubts... the anger and pain to see what has already been made new for us. And a newness that will transform us to never be the same again.

Michael Jackson sings of a man, himself, recognizing that this world in all it's hurts and despair can be changed. Many of us cannot see that... much like the way we could not see the risen Christ. But MJ was a visionary. He truly believed and grieved over the hopelessness that others feel. We know many men such as this, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandala, I could go on.

One day you may wake and go to your mirror when you are ready to face the resurrected Jesus, take a look at yourself and make that change... make this world a better place.
But as the lyrics say... It must start with you!

Jesus did not ask the others to go with him that Good Friday,
(Or as my friends say.. "Sad Friday").
He went before us. He didn't ask the others to go and make the sacrifices before him... he began with himself. He did as the Father asked Him to do. And in the words of Catherine of Sienna, "He set the world a fire".

What face will you see the next time you stand before your mirror? Or on the Road to Emmaus? Your classroom? The streets of Newport? Take a good look at and be prepared to be graced with a Resurrected Jesus!

Happy Easter,
Miss Dawn

'tis the season

"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling.. ring-ting-tingaling too..."

Oh come on.... That's at least Wintery??!!

I know, Christmas is over. This happens to be my least favorite time of the year. Probably for most of us I can imagine. But honestly I question why. I enter this phase each and every year Post-Christmas/Holidays Blues. The Crash!!! I should know that it is coming... and yet if I did prepare myself for it each year, I highly doubt I could face the work, challenges and sheer joyful madness that I tend to display around the birth of Christ that is necessary to put on Pageants, Christmas Parties, and the like... and see the utter bliss associated with out of control festive holiday happiness!

But does it all need to come to a screaching halt like that? At least therapists take you down from your meds a bit at time... not cold turkey! The reality is we just spent months eating really yummy warm turkey! Now- its off to the couch!

Mania of most types is a pyshcological frame of mind that I can relate too and yet highly disagree with. I am not the largest fan of manic behaviors and how they "explain" or "influence" actions away in life. I am not convinced that a small pill taken a few times a day cures our mental disorders, and I certainly know it doesnt erase them. But there is a clear mania associated with the holiday season, that is a "quick fix". It is the little red and green stiped pill that masks reality and helps us to cope until we are really ready to face life again... That being, New Year's Day.

I start planning my Halloween costumes sometime in July. (Well to be fair to me, I usually have 3 to plan for so I do like to beign early:) Who will I be this year? For school? For play? And for anything in-between?? That already sets us up for the next 2 months of "Let's Pretend"!

Then the Christmas music begins... When did this tradition begin? I am told it a way for radio stations to cut back on end of the year expenses by playing scripted Holiday Music all day and night forgoing DJ support to help fix end of the year budgets. I am told it helps "Stimulate" our poor economic status by forcing shoppers to be in the mood a month early. I am told it just helps the general population "feel better" that they know a happy time is here.. even tho it is only All Saints Day! Whatever happened to the proper doom and gloom of the darkest month of the year... November? The month where we actually remember the dead? Celebrate War Veterans, vote for politicians, (Oh yeah, the dead again...) and watch the leaves turn and fall to their demise??? I guess we, as a culture, are all set with death too.

Then there is a thought of Thanksgiving.... We think of table decor, party games, Football, Pie baking, and US Trivia questions. It's kind of like the Play Off games beginning for "The Big Game". The reality test of, "Will I be strong enough to endure this dinner another 3x before the year closes with a variety of people I either long to see or dread!" It's the test of how good my game will be when the "big game" arrives! It is also the 1st Holy Thursday, or the Feast the Last Supper! Ya know... before "Black Friday".
(Funny how we never elude to Jesus' last Friday that way? We consider His "Good!" )

Black Friday... The kick off to the Busiest Shopping weekend of the Year! The media coverage is amazing- as we watch the retailers ready to pull themselves out of the reality of red sales all these months and jettison into mania we have come to know as the Christmas Shopping Season. The King of Kings! The Savior of All!

Retail on this day is for everyone! It's like Christ coming to ALL a month early!

What happened to Advent? You know... That funny little time where we "WAIT". We prepare "The Way", as the Baptist taught us. That odd little 4 week period of Purple and Rose candles ensconsced in a evergreen wreath. A quiet reflective anticipatory time where we think about how we want Christ to come back to us and in us. A time where we aren't immursed in parties, music and maritinis. A time where we prepare ourselves for the joy during the true Christmas Season... December 25th-January 6th! Why is that even our Advent Calendars need to have chocolate behind each window? Surely, we cannot wait unless there is a reward each day?? Why on an Advent calendar is Santa the last door we open on December 25th? Santa's not a bad guy.. honestly, as I tell my kids.. He's just 2nd! I feel badly for brides who are unchurched with grand dreams of a "Christmas" wedding on December 10th! Somehow the Ruby Red bridesmaid dresses and the Periwinkle Blue candles and Altar cloth do not seem to jive!!!

We forgot to wait. And that's because in our culture we are taught not too anymore.

Then there is the Superbowl of Holidays, Christmas! My favorite! People think I'm NUTS by hosting Christmas Pageants so "close" to Christmas! I hosted a rather large one this year. It was wonderful and breath-taking. It made me wait and work hard through Advent. It made me wonder WHY I do this!! (LOL) But, that is truly Advent! I received mostly allocades all around .. even from the onset of the prepartion.. although, there were one or two letters of inquiry by Catholic parents wondering if I were nuts trying to add one more thing like a "Pageant" to the insanity of what already HAS to be done during the Holiday Season???!!! I also was asked.. Do you realize this is so SO close to Christmas time? Yes, There is something rewarding about presenting a Pageant after Advent 4 and near the Solstice that makes it somewhat authentic! Thanks, I am aware.. It helps me to gain my perpestive on WHY we do this every year!

Its exciting for sure! All the hustle and bustle of preparing .The energizing music.. even if it has been playing since Election Day. The lights that twinkle, (or not), with the wonder. The staying up 'til 1am every night buying and wrapping.. and buying a wrapping, etc.. Until our immune systems are so worn down we catch the stomach virus 3x before the kids are on break! Baking cookies that we only need to be lectured about to lose weight from 2 weeks later. The foods rich in fat and calories that we shouldn't be eating until January 1st. And how about that poor tree??? Man, I tell you. We are now in need of evergreen translpant sap to keep it living for 9 weeks in the heat!

This year, we got our tree on Christmas Eve morning. It was beautiful, fresh, $12.50, and headed for the Chrsitmas Heaven anyway if we didnt' scoop it up and give it the home it was destined for! It still went to Christmas Tree Heaven anyway! (A kid's book to follow on that one)!

When my mom was little Santa brought the tree to her home... and the gifts! When I was little the tree would come right around Advent 3 or 4. And nowadays.. the tree goes up before the 1st purple candle does!


Then we end it all with, well, the uneventful and boring "Bowl" games that land on New Years Day. That regret filled, newly-realized resolutionary day filled with empty hopes and failed promises already. A day that follows, probably the worst amateur night, (next to St. Patty's Day Parade Day in Newport.) A day that is supposed to be about New Beginnings and celebrated hopes of the future. A new year, A new chance, A new way to be!!! And what do we do??? We rip down the decorations, stop having fun, lament about all the bad decisons we made for the last 6 weeks, and grieve the mania that is now replaced with reality that our Christmas-Meds are not being refilled! Instead of Rejoice we are faced with Regret. Instead of Hope... Hopelessness!

I feel like, (although Mania-induced maybe), we do all this work to, Go Tell It on the Mountain... only to fall off the cliff on New Year's Day.

The stores are barron, the music stops at midnight Decmber 25th. The dishes are in the sink. We aren't happy because we didn't get the big ticket item we could've sworn our spouse would've put us into debt over for a moment of happiness one morning. We are now stuck with the purchase, or bill of service of whatever just broke down 2 days before Christmas, (cause that's how life rolls). The kids are still fighting .. (now over more than they had to fight over pre-Santa). The decorations are broken and scattered. The tree all of a sudden looks like a wilted mess. I ate and drank too much and pissed off my mother-in-law... and hopefully she did too! It's like one of the kids fairy tale books that are now in print, "The other side of the story." You know where the villain gets to air his side of the tale and how he was wronged!

And Old St. Nick.. man he's the only one with the right idea... he leaves the goods and get's the hell out of here leaving everyone to wonder where does he go to relax?? Cause.. it's January, and the cries of vacation season are starting to beckon! I am positive Santa does not begin a diet, and I know the North pole only shuts down for a vacation!

Then it's done and over. Nothing. It isn't a slow death either. It's quick and dirty! We are left to watch ads no longer of of sappy coffee companys bringing home college students unexepectedly from an interternship in Africa to reunite Christmas morning with his longing family... But to Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem commercials! All of a sudden I am wondering why I didn't invest enough money this year in my retirement account (or at all). I am left figuring out why I need to go to a Bridal Expo or hunt down my favorite cruise and travel company immediately??!!

And if doesn't just make matters worse, I happen to revolve another year around the sun on January 3rd and ponder why at the age of 45 this happens to me year after year?

Do I have the answers to these questions and statements?? No, I do not. I wish I did. I have opened every bottle of Holiday Lexipro I see hanging around my house and work, and for the life of me I cannot pull out the cheer I am supposed to feel. Instead, it feels more like the rug, was just pulled out from under me. I view myself as one of the luck ones tho- at least I don't begin singing Nov 1st and wonder why it all come to screeching halt. I am a realist. I believe in the "reason" for the season". Corny, as it may sound. I'd rather give a nice birthday gift to you, and remember whose real birthday we've come to celebrate this sacred day. I choose, to indulge for a week, and then go back to my old eating habits January 2nd. My martinis don't ever change color regardless of the color of the season! I still shop when Christmas is over, eat turkey during the year, and agonize over my marital status, (good and bad), even in July! And neither does Santa...if it's good enough for him.. then it should be good enough for us all!

And remember, Jesus, Mary and Joseph never went to Gethsemane to cut down a live tree every year to drag in!

Christmas doesn't solve all of our earthly problems in the world... And I hope it never will... except to say that "Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day, To save us all from Satan's power when we have gone astray... Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy, Comfort and Joy, Oh Tidings of comfort and Joy!"

Here's to auld lang syne,
MD-