"Bless her heart!"

I'm writin' y'all tonite about living in the South! Many of my friends have spent some time living just South of Newport, (if that is REALLY true!) Or, so they tell me! I have had the best time in my home away from home that I can sit here on this warm Saturday eve in late winter/early Spring dreaming about good ol' southern hospitality!

I love the South. I always thought one day I would live there. Once, years ago, I imagined honeymooning in New Orleans. (mind you, never been hitched). Scarlett O'Hara tells Rhett Butler when he asks her, "Scarlett would you ever marry for fun?" Her response.. "Fun for whom?" However, I began to think I could and should be residing there. It always appealed to me. The 80's brought on Steel Magnolias and JFK. Although, Burn Notice... sealed the deal for me! I wondered about attending worship services in the South, pretty dresses, and just enough gossip to intrigue even the most humble Christian! I wasn't wrong... except I thought I would love grits!

When I think of Southern living many interesting details immediately come to mind. Obviously the weather is glorious most of the year. It is like living in Spring, (my favorite season), ALL year... (although, the Tulips still only come out when they're supposed too.) With the exception of that blast of wilting humidity that arrives around late May/June, I have grown very fond of my southern hood. I quickly figured out that "their Summer is our Winter." My childhood friend Wayne lives in the Orlando area. When I asked him about the move to the South, he said, "Dawn, we just stay inside all Summer. October is perfect until May. No shoveling or outrageous heating bills.... c'mon down!" I thought... hmm... that's seems appealing enough. Go home for Christmas snow and be done! I spent much of last Summer there.. and honestly, he was right. Weather at this point in life does make a difference. I love the fact that my god Ra, begins sunning me around this very time, and ends before Thanksgiving. It's a wonderful thing, that Vitamin D !

Besides the temperature.. most importantly is the temperament! Good ol' southern hospitality! It took me a spell to g'it this one...Boy-Howdy... Sometimes I say.. yes.. indeed this is surely the place and other times...."um... speed it up, I could be dying tomorrow!" It is truth when folks tell ya that life is slower and nicer past the Mason-Dixon line. Being kind takes time!!!!

For example, I found a good hair salon finally , (let me define salon... one that is not in someones garage and sells products that have not been distilled in someones backyard!) Anyhow. I have pretty low-maintenance hair.(I am not a full on platinum blonde!) I go in for treatment about 3x a year. My usual appt here is not nearly 4 hours... okay.. let's be fair, perhaps, it was a slow rainy day or that the girl sensed my anxiety as I would much rather have a molar filled than be there.. but none the less.. in the North a filling and my hair usually take about the same amount of time... in the South, it is a personal day from work! I told myself that was okay as perhaps that is the "true mission" of a salon, a day of pampering!

The Publix.. a rather hip chain of grocery markets. (I much prefer to the Winn Dixie or the Piggly-whatever!) There motto, "Where shopping is a pleasure!" I have decided, is really a fact. The 2nd least favorite thing I hate besides the hair salon, is grocery shopping! Just can't stand the crowds and searching for what I need. Mostly though, it's the lugging of my purchases. Upon a rather large shopping excursion... without male company... I happened in the check-out line and I began to bag my own groceries. (comes naturally). Some poor clerk comes running over and quietly sates, "Ma'am what ever on earth are you doin'?" I am dumbfounded and explain that I am baggin' my supplies and I assure them that I intend to pay for them.. (haha) She looks up at me and says, "You're from the North aren't you?" Perhaps, my accent? Perhaps my buttoned up attire? Or simply my work ethic??(Over zealous and over worked way of living).
I sheepishly nodded and smiled... She said, "That's my job." I agreed to let go of this task, be a Belle, or a customer, and move ahead with my adventure. I was telling myself though, "Relax, and enjoy this, this is what woman do here in the South." No sooner had my bags been in the carriage, I place my hands upon the handle of the cart, and the clerk again states, "M'aam.. where can I take you?" "TAKE ME????" I respond and say " Um... no where my shopping is complete, thank you." She said, "Well then fine ma'am, allow me to walk you to your vehicle." She rips the cart from my hands and proceeds out into a 60 degree evening... I am thinking to myself... "Oh shit, do I have cash on me???? We get to the car and I slip her a few bucks and she looks at me as though I have now committed mortal sin..."No thank you ma'am we are not allowed to accept tips. Is this your vehicle? Please pop the hatch for me." I am stopped dead in my tracks staring at her. "Keys ma'am?" I reach for the keys fumbling around in my handbag.. get the car open and I watch her LOAD the groceries into the car!!!!!! I am grateful, but thinking a million thoughts right now.. "Why can't it be snowing? Why can't it be 10 degree wind chill? Whatever happened to Almacs on Bellevue Avenue???"
I sat in the car. I stopped and I watched her retrieve other carriages in the lot scattered here and there and I said.. " THAT's WHY they don't have a carriage depot!!!!!" Okay.. I am officially loving the South! I only wish they had her drive home with you so you could walk those bags up 2 flights of stairs! Oh well...small southern baby steps!

The Suite of lovely Spanish-style, stucco apartments I stay in has a paperboy... if you will. It reminds me of the old show Melrose Place. This place is located on a main strip similar to Thames Street. Paper-people are almost non-existent in cities, and they certainly don't ride bicycles and hum a paper at your door to deliver the morning news... no it is far better than that. There is a paper boy who comes to call at 6am faithfully and the reason I know this is because his beat up pick up truck comes barreling into the complex exactly at dawn and is playing music I would normally find exciting exactly 12 hours later! After the first few mornings of thinking a neighbor had a really loud TV or little kids, I realized that this is how he woke his clients to the delivery of the days' news! Then it became exciting! What would today be???? Def Leopard?,Skynryd?, Styx?, ACDC?, ZZ Top?.. a southern rockers dream reveille! Then Sunday came. The southern hospitality was even present in our paperboy... I lay there, it's quiet as you would imagine on Sunday, 6am.. and I detect a familiar melody...." We've only just begun.. white lace and promises.. " I lay head faced down in my pillow smiling! And softly sing, "A kiss for luck and we're on our way!" I giggled so hard that I was even now loving our paperboy even though my head was still rocking from the Disco 70's band the evening before."
Life in the South is really forgiving.

Many other instances remind me that I like this way of living as, "You are the customer, the little lady, the girl in need of a 4 hour salon treatment and lovingly referred to as "Sugar"...except for the times when I hear, "Bless her heart!" Well. let me say.. when YOU are the one who is the recipient of heart blessing! Well... thankfully years ago, my friend John educated me on this one! John, a friend and colleague, would often use the expression, "Bless her heart!" during times when we were speaking of someone who... well.. needed to be "blessed".
I guess!! Forever, I never knew what this meant, except, that" I" thought it meant his Christianity shining through! I always took to heart his kind blessings and wondered how on earth he could be, "blessing her??" Well. I did not need to spend years in Mobile, as he did, to understand what this truly meant! I had a good southern mentor! Again, just the South's way of being hospitable! (Even, if the grocery clerk said that to me on her way back from my car!)
I can see why people move there. I completely understand why folks HATE living here after being there. (The frigidity on all levels!) I can even see why the men are attracted to "Belledom"... although I TRULY struggle with that one! But, I can say that I have never been welcomed so graciously, treated so decently, and made-over...sometimes so fakishly, (WHO CARES!) then in the South! It is a nice place to visit and live. Where else can you get 10 months of Spring, $1.75 Sam Adams drafts, $63 Dirty Martini's, Valentine's Dinner at a posh country club with the loveliest octogenarians, alcohol and popcorn at the local movie theatre, Indian grocery stores, and a Nascar watching boyfriend! The only thing missing is my platinum doo! (And that's only because I can't sit in the chair for 8 hours!!!)

Damsels in distress???.. maybe... however I have learned that this isn't the worse thing. The South is a flashback at times. It is a reminder that men are men and women are ladies.
We Yankee-chicks sometimes need reminding!

A girl gets used to her life in the South. My airport scenes now end something like this...

Scarlett: "Rhett, Rhett, - Rhett, where shall I ever go? What shall I do?"

Rhett Butler: "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give damn."

Scarlett: "Rhett, don't. I shall faint."

Rhett Butler: "I want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the fools you've ever known have kissed you like this, have they? Your Charles, or your Frank, or your stupid Ashley!"

Scarlett: "Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day."

Bye y'all,
S. O'H